A caption reads "Best of That TVO Kids Show."

(BOXING BELL RINGING)

The announcer says IT'S TIME FOR THIS VS. THAT!
LET'S MEET OUR COMPETITORS.
IN THE FIRST CORNER:
SHE'S SLIMY.
SHE'S SNEAKY.
YOU'LL FIND HER HIDING UNDER
THE ROCK IN THE CREEK.
IT'S TEAM LEECH!

Dressed as a leech, Laura stands in a corner of the fort.

(CHEERING)

The announcer says IN THE SECOND CORNER:
HE'S AN EIGHT
LEGGED CLASSIC.
DON'T GET CAUGHT IN HIS WEB,
HE MIGHT EAT YOU,
BUT PROBABLY NOT.
IT'S TEAM SPIDER.

Dressed as a spider, Lucas stands in another corner.

(CHEERING)

The announcer says LET THE GAMES BEGIN.
(BELL RINGING)

Spider says BRING IT ON, LEECH.

Leech says OH, I WILL!

Spider says I THINK I'M GONNA BE
THE WINNER IN THIS.
A ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR!

Leech sings a song that says I'M A LITTLE LEECH
IN A BIG, BIG WORLD
300 TEETHS,
NOR A BOY NOR A GIRL
YOU THINK I'M DUMB
BUT I GOT 32 BRAINS!
I CAN SUCK YOUR BLOOD
BUT YOU WON'T FEEL NO PAIN

Spider sings OKAY!
YOU'LL FIND ME CRAWLING
UP ON YOUR WALL
I'M A SPIDEY, SEE
THAT'S RIGHT
AND I'M EIGHT LEGS TALL
I'M AN ARACHNID
THAT'S RIGHT,
I'M WEAVING MY WEB
YOU CAN FIND ME ON
EVERY CONTINENT
AND UNDERNEATH YOUR BED

Leech sings I'M A LEECH YOU SEE
WHAT?! I'M A LEECH!
AND I'M READY TO FEED

Spider sings I'M A SPIDER YOU SEE
THAT'S RIGHT, EIGHT LEGS!
MY WEB I WILL WEAVE
HIT IT.

Leech sings HERE WE GO.
I'M A LITTLE LEECH
IN A BIG, BIG POND
IN SHALLOW WATERS SO YOU
BETTER KEEP CALM
I'VE GOT THREE MOUTHS AND
THEY'VE ALL GOT TEETH
I'M GETTING HUNGRY SO YOU
BETTER WATCH YOUR FEET

Spider sings FOUR PAIRS OF EYES
SO DON'T TRY AND HIDE
IS IT A SURPRISE I CAN
GROW BIG IN SIZE
THOUGH I CAN'T HEAR,
I CAN STILL SENSE SOUND
WATCH YOUR BACK,
YOU BETTER TURN AROUND, LEECH

Leech says WHOA!

Spider sings WHOA!

Leech says WATCH IT, SPIDER.

Spider says WATCH IT, LEECH.

Leech says WE BETTER CALL IN THE EXPERTS!

Spider says WE NEED A MEDIATOR.
BRING IN ANTONIA THE
ENTOMOLOGIST.

Leech says HELLO, ANTONIA.

Antonia walks in. She's in her thirties, with long curly brown hair in a half-do. She wears black leggings, a black cardigan sweater and a white scarf.

She says THAT WAS VERY WELL DONE
BY BOTH THE LEECH
AND THE SPIDER.

Leech says THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

Antonia UH-HUH.

Spider says THANK YOU.

Antonia says BIG HAND, BIG HAND.

Spider says BUT WHO WOULD BE THE WINNER?!

Antonia says OH, MY.
HAVING TO CHOOSE BETWEEN...
OH, OH, OH, OH, OH...
OKAY, I'M GOING TO GO
WITH THE SPIDER!

Spider says YEAH!

Leech groans.

Spider says THAT'S RIGHT!