A screen Australia and the Australia Broadcasting Corporation present, in association with The Children's Television Foundation and Create New South Wales. A Northern Pictures Production.

A group of school kids sing a rap song that says A NEW DAY DAWNS IN
THE WILD WILD WEST
WHEN A SCHOOL WILL DISCOVER
WHO WILL BE THE BEST
AND YOU KNOW WHEN THE GOING
GETS TOUGH

Salwa is around 10, with long brown hair in a braid and wears a school uniform.

Mikey is around 10, with slightly long wavy brown hair in a bun and he wears a school uniform.

Jerry is around 10, with short wavy light brown hair and wears a school uniform.

Tiffany is around 10, with long curly brown hair and wears glasses, a yellow tracksuit and a white headband.

Lily is around 10, with long brown hair in pigtail braids with colourful ribbons and wears a yellow tracksuit and a white headband.

Lance is in his early teens, with short straight blond hair and wears a yellow tracksuit and a white headband.

The song continues MIKEY'S GOING TO DIG DOWN
AND USE THE RIGHT STUFF
'CAUSE IF YOU WANNA PLAY
HANDBALL
THEN YOU'VE GOTTA GIVE IT
YOUR ALL
COME ON
'CAUSE IF YOU WANNA PLAY
HANDBALL
YOU'VE GOTTA THINK BIG,
NOT SMALL
IF YOU WANNA PLAY HANDBALL
THEN YOU'VE GOTTA PLAY
HARDBALL

A caption reads "Created and written by Guy Edmonds and Matt Zemeres."

The name of the show reads "Hardball."

(ANIMAL HOWLING)

Wearing camper's clothing, Mikey wanders in the woods at night.

Voices at a distance say MIKEY.

At school, Salwa says MIKEY.

Jerry says MAHAKI.

Salwa says MIKEY.

Jerry says MAHAKI.

Salwa says MIKEY!

Mikey says HUH?

Salwa says YOU DAY-DREAMING AGAIN?

Mikey says YEAH.
I HAVE AN OVERACTIVE
IMAGINATION.

Jerry says INDEED YOU DO, MAHAKI.

Mikey says WHAT WAS THE QUESTION AGAIN?

Jerry says HAVE YOU MADE UP YOUR MIND
YET?

Mikey says ABOUT WHAT?

Jerry says BEING SALWA'S BACK UP FOR
SASI-WESTS-HAT.

Mikey says OH, NO.
NOT SURE, EH?

Salwa says I CAN STILL BE IN IT.
I JUST GOT TO WIN THE BATTLE OF
BLOCK STREET.

Jerry says YES, BUT YOU CAN'T TRAIN AT
SCHOOL.
YOUR CHANCES OF BEING IN THE TOP
THREE ARE DECREASING
DRAMATICALLY.

Mikey says SALWA COULD GET IN THE TOP
THREE WITH HER EYES CLOSED.

Salwa says THANKS.

Mikey says AND A HAND TIED BEHIND HER
BACK.

Salwa says THANKS.

Mikey says AND HOPPING ON ONE LEG!

Jerry says I GET IT.
BUT MAHAKI, YOU'RE A WILD
STALLION.
(HORSE NEIGHING)

Mikey says BRO, IT'S CHOICE THAT YOU
THINK THAT I'M ALL THAT AND A
BAG OF CHIPS AND A HORSE,
BUT I'M NOT EVEN THE CHIPS,
AND DEFS NOT A HORSE.
(BELL RINGING)
MORE IMPORTANTLY, WE'RE GOING
TO BE LATE.

At music class, Lance sings and BUMBLEBEE, BUMBLEBEE
BUMBLEBEE, BUMBLEBEE
BUMBLEBEE, BUMBLEBEE,
BUMBLEBEE, BUMBLEBEE

He checks if the mic is on and says CHECK, CHECK.
IT'S A MIC CHECK.

Tiffany looks at the speaker and says I CAN'T HEAR ANYTHING.

Lily says IT SHOULD BE WORKING.

Mustafa says HAVE YOU TRIED THE BLUE
CABLE?

Lily says CAN IT, MUSTAFY.

Mustafa says IT'S MUSTAFA.

Tiffany says I KNOW.

Mustafa says YOU GOT ZERO CULTURE.

Tiffany says OKAY, THAT'S OFFENSIVE.
I HAVE TWO DADS, AND WE SPONSOR
AFRICAN, ARMENIAN, AND AFGHANI
KIDS.

Mustafa says IT'S AFGHAN.
AFGHANI IS THEIR CURRENCY.

Lance says REALLY?
I ACTUALLY DIDN'T KNOW THAT.

Tiffany says WELL, I DID.
I WAS JUST TESTING YOU, AND YOU
WIN.
SO, CONGRATS.
MS. CRAPPER, WE CAN'T GET THE
SOUND WORKING.
SORRY.

Miss Crapper turns the speaker on.

She grabs the mic and says ALRIGHT, BLOCK STREET.
EVERYBODY, HUSH-HUSH, PLEASE.
A LITTLE BIT OF HUSH-HUSH.
THE GAME OF RUGBY LEAGUE CAN
TEACH US MANY THINGS ABOUT THE
GAME OF LIFE.
TODAY, YOU WILL BE ABSORBING
PEARLS OF WISDOM FROM FOUR
INSPIRATIONAL, GIFTED, ATHLETIC,
MASCULINE, AND MUSCULAR
MODERN-DAY GLADIATORS.
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
(MUSIC STOPPING)

Connor walks in says OH, LOVE THE TUNE.
THANKS, MRS. CRAPPER.

Connor is in his thirties, with short wavy light brown hair and a goatee. He wears training clothes.

Miss Crapper says IT'S CRAW-PER.

Connor says IT'S CRAW-PER, IS IT?
MY FAULT.
OKAY, G'DAY, KIDS.
HOW YOU GOING?
THE NAME'S CONNOR MCCANN,
AND I'M THE CAPTAIN OF THE
BULLFROGS.
I LIKE PEPPERONI PIZZA,
PUSH-UPS, AND PUSHING MYSELF TO
THE LIMITS.
OH, YES!

He curls his bicep and says ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR THAT.
(APPLAUSE)
TODAY, I'M HERE TO INTRODUCE TO
YOU SOME VERY, VERY IMPORTANT
PEOPLE.
FIRST UP, WE HAVE BRANDON
GRAHAM.
(MUSIC PLAYING BRIEFLY)

Connor says HE IS OUR WINGER, HE'S OUR GOAL
KICKER, AND HE'S ALSO OUR
CHURCH GROUP LEADER.

Graham is bald and with a red beard. He wears training clothes.

THIS NEXT MAN IS PROBABLY THE
MOST INSPIRATIONAL MAN YOU'LL
MEET ALL DAY.
HIS NAME IS JACK.
(MUSIC PLAYING BRIEFLY)

Connor says ARE WE GOING TO DO THAT EVERY
TIME?
WE'RE GOING-- UH, DOING THE...
THAT'S GOOD.
NO, IT'S GOOD.
THIS IS JACK!
BEFORE LEAGUE, HE WAS IN JAIL.
HE WAS IN GANGS, AND HE WAS
LIVING ON THE MEAN STREETS.

Jack says RELAX, KIDS.
GANGS ARE LAME.
NOW, I PLAY CHECKERS IN MY SPARE
TIME.
(CONNOR LAUGHING)

Jack is tall and well-built and has brown hair and a goatee.

(APPLAUSE)

Connor says OKAY, FINALLY, OUR NEWEST
RECRUIT.
HE'S SOLID.
HE'S NOT FLASHY.
IT'S DADDY O!
(MUSIC PLAYING BRIEFLY)
WHOA-HO!

Daddy says LOOK FORWARD TO HITTING THE
TACKLE BAGS LATER.
AH, SHOUT OUT TO MY BOY, MIKEY.
HE JUST STARTED SCHOOL HERE.

Mikey says HEY, DADDY.

Daddy says HEY, BOY.

Mikey says DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE COMING
TO SCHOOL TODAY.

Daddy says AH, I JUST FOUND OUT ABOUT 30
MINUTES AGO.

Mikey says OH, SWEET AS.

Daddy says CHERRY PIE.

Jerry says THE APPLE DOESN'T FALL FAR
FROM THE TREE.

Salwa says YOUR DAD'S A WEAPON.

Connor says HE'S PRETTY GOOD.
OKAY, NOW, WHAT WE'RE GOING TO
DO IS THE BULLFROGS' WAR-CRY.
WHO KNOWS IT?
HANDS UP.
FOR THOSE WHO DON'T-- THERE'S
ONE DOWN HERE-- IT'S UP ON THE
SCREEN.
THERE IT IS.
AND WHAT DO WE START WITH?
WE START WITH...

The students say YAKALAKA!

They sing YAKALAKA, YAKALAKA,
FROG-LA-LA!
SHOOMALAKA, SHOOMALAKA,
FROG-BA-BA.
BULLFROG, BULLFROG,
SHOOMALAKA-HA!
BULLFROG, BULLFROG, YAKALAKA-HA!
RIBBIT.

Connor says YES!
THAT'S IT.
WELL DONE, KIDS, WELL DONE.
OVER TO YOU, MRS. CRAPPER.
CRAW-PER.

Miss Crapper says ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT.
FORM AN ORDERLY QUEUE UP THE
BACK FOR THE BALL SIGNING.
(KIDS SCREAMING, BELL RINGING)

Outside, the kids line up for a hotdog.

Mikey says SALWA!
SAUSAGE?

Salwa says I'M VEG-O!

Jerry says THEY HAVE TOFU.

Salwa says I'D RATHER EAT MEAT!

Miss Crapper says I'LL DO THE SAUCING.

Connor says OH, IT'S ALL GOOD.

Miss Crapper says NO, NO, HAPPY TO HELP.

Jerry says SPEAKING OF MEAT, GRAB ME A
SAUSAGE.
BARBECUE, TOMATO AND MUSTARD,
PLEASE.

Mikey says UGH.
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

Jerry says RESEARCH.

Daddy says HEY, BOY.

Mikey says DADDY.

Daddy says THIS IS CONNOR MCCANN.

Connor says G'DAY, MATE.

Mikey says PLEASURE, MR. MCCANN.

Connor says OH, STRONG SHAKE!
WHOA!

Miss Crapper says HELLO, MICHAEL.

Mikey says UH, HI, MS. CRAPPER.

Miss Crapper says WHAT CAN I GET YOU?

Mikey says UM, TWO FOR ME, PLEASE, WITH,
UH, ONIONS AND TOMATO SAUCE.
GOT TASTY CHEESE?

Miss Crapper says ONLY CHEDDAR.

Mikey says DANG.
UM, AND ONE FOR JERRY.
TOMATO SAUCE, BARBECUE, AND
MUSTARD.

Connor says COMING RIGHT UP.

Miss Crapper says YOU DIDN'T TELL ME YOUR
FATHER PLAYED FOR THE
BULLFROGS, MICHAEL.

Mikey says UH, NEVER CAME UP, I GUESS.

The kids play handball.

Prisha says YOU'RE OUT.

The ball bounces towards Salwa and she picks it up.

Tiffany says SALWA, WANT TO PLAY?
OH, THAT'S RIGHT.
YOU CAN'T.

Salwa says WHAT'D YOU SAY?

Tiffany says YOU HEARD.
JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN'T PLAY,
DON'T RUIN THE FUN FOR EVERYONE
ELSE.

Salwa says LIKE YOU DID FOR ME?

Tiffany says NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING
ABOUT, OKAY?

Salwa says YOU'RE GOING TO PAY!

Tiffany says WHEN I PAY IS THE DAY YOU
PLAY, WHICH IS NEVER!
(THUNDERING)

Salwa gets mad and throws the ball against her, but Tiffany ducks down and the ball hits Miss Crapper as she squirts ketchup on a hot dog.

Mikey says COVERED IN SAUCE, EH, MISS?
(THUNDERING)

Miss Crapper says MY OFFICE.
NOW.

Outside the office, Mikey says CAN YOU HEAR ANYTHING?

Jerry says I BELIEVE SHE'S PACING WITH
MENACE.
(INHALING LOUDLY)

Miss Crapper says P-A-S-S.
PASS.
IN LIFE, WE MUST PASS TESTS,
PASS GO, PASS TIME,
PASS... GAS.
BUT NOW, THE TIME HAS COME FOR
ME TO PASS JUDGMENT.
I THOUGHT IT WAS ENOUGH TO BAN
YOU FROM PLAYING HANDBALL AT
SCHOOL.
CLEARLY, I WAS WRONG.
SALWA ZARA, FROM THIS MOMENT,
NOT ONLY ARE YOU FORBIDDEN FROM
PLAYING HANDBALL AT SCHOOL,
BUT I FORBID YOU TO ENTER
SASI-WESTS-HAT.

Salwa says BUT MISS, YOU CAN'T!

Miss Crapper says I JUST DID.

They open the office door.

Mikey says UH, WE WERE JUST...

Jerry says LEAVING.

Mikey says YES.

In the schoolyard, Mikey says I FEEL FOR YOU, EH, SALWA.

Jerry says ME TOO.
MAHAKI, THE TOURNAMENT NEEDS YOU
NOW MORE THAN EVER.

Salwa says STUFF THE TOURNAMENT!
FIRST, TIFFANY HACKS ME.
NOW THIS.
CRAPPER THINKS SHE'S GOOD,
BUT SHE'S A...
(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

Mikey says WHAT'S THAT?

Salwa says BAKLAVA.

Mikey says IS THAT BAD?

Jerry says I'D SAY SO.

Salwa says WE NEED PROOF.
WE GET THAT, I'M BACK IN.

At rugby practice, a kid runs and says AH!

Daddy says UH, LET'S TRY AND HIT THE
TARGET THIS TIME, EH?
YOU'RE UP.

Tiffany says I HAVE TENNIS ELBOW, OKAY?

Daddy says YOU?

Mikey says NEED A HAND, BRO?

Jerry says I GOT THIS, MAHAKI.
(SHOUTING)

Jerry drives his chair towards the target, shouts and knocks it down.

Daddy says NO EXCUSES.
I LIKE THAT.

Jerry says THANK YOU, MAHAKI SENIOR.

Mikey says GREAT ONE, BRO.
YOU JUST SMASHED IT, BRO.

Jerry says AND BOY, IT FELT GOOD.

Tiffany says NICE HIT... NOT.
(LANCE AND LILY LAUGHING)

Salwa says WHY DON'T YOU HOLD THE BAG
FOR ME?

Tiffany says OOH, I'M SO SCARED... NOT.

Mikey says YOU JUST DOUBLE DIPPED ON
"NOT."

Tiffany says DID NOT.

Salwa says DID TOO.
YOU NERVOUS ABOUT SOMETHING?

Tiffany says UM, NO.

Salwa says YOU'RE NOT FEELING GUILTY?

Tiffany says NO, OKAY?
WHY WOULD I?

Salwa says BECAUSE YOU MADE IT LOOK LIKE
I SENT THE VIDEO.

Tiffany says WHY WOULD I DO THAT?

Lily says YEAH, WHY WOULD SHE DO THAT?

Salwa says BECAUSE SHE KNOWS I WILL BEAT
HER.

Lance says YOU ARE QUITE THE PLAYER.

Tiffany says LANCE.
CUTE THEORY, BUT YOU'RE THE ONE
IN TROUBLE, SO IF ANYONE'S
GUILTY, IT'S YOU.

Mikey says THERE'S SO MUCH TENSION IN
THE AIR RIGHT NOW.
IT'S LIKE THEY'RE TWO
SUPERHEROES LASER-BEAMING EACH
OTHER WITH THEIR LASER BEAM
EYES.
CHECK IT OUT.

Tiffany and Salwa stare at each other with laser beam eyes.

Mikey says SEE?
LASER BEAM EYES.
(MAKING LASER SOUNDS)

Daddy says ALRIGHT, GATHER ROUND!
GOOD SESH.
UH, OBVIOUSLY, I'VE FELT LIKE
GIVING UP.
INJURIES, SUSPENSIONS.
BUT, AH, WHEN IT'S TOUGH, I
THINK OF MY FAMILY, MY CULTURE.
WHO DO I CALL ON, BOY?

Mikey says MAUI.

Daddy says THAT'S RIGHT.
MAUI SAYS, "KIA KAHA."
THAT MEANS "BE STRONG."
SO, GET STUCK IN.
KEEP ON GOING.

Tiffany says THAT WAS SO INSPIRATIONAL,
MR. MAHAKI.
I LOVE MAUI.
AND THAT FILM WITH THE GIRL AND
THE WATER AND THE SONGS?
LITERALLY MY FAVOURITE, OKAY?

Daddy says 'KAY.
ALRIGHT, BRING IT IN.
"TEAM" ON THREE, EH?
ONE, TWO, THREE.

They all say TEAM!

Mikey, Jerry, and Salwa visit Kevin.

(BEEPING)

Kevin says SPEAK.

Jerry says IT'S ME.

Kevin says UGH.

Jerry says PLEASE, KEVIN.

Kevin says UGH.

Jerry says PRETTY PLEASE?

Kevin says UGH.

Jerry says PRETTY PLEASE WITH A BIONIC
CHERRY ON TOP?

Kevin says UGH.

He buzzes them in.

(BUZZING, DOOR OPENING)

Kevin says MY, MY, MY.
WHO'S THE GIRL?

Jerry says THIS IS OUR FRIEND, SALWA.

Kevin says AH.
SALWA ZARA, INFAMOUS PHONE
FUGITIVE, AGE 10.
LOVES HANDBALL, MIXED MARTIAL
ARTS, AND THE COLOUR PINK.

Salwa says I DON'T LIKE PINK.
PINK'S LAME, I HATE PINK.

Kevin says HMM, METHINKS THE LADY DOTH
PROTEST TOO MUCH.
RECENTLY BANNED FROM
SASI-WESTS-HAT.

Mikey says SASI-WEST-WHAT?

Salwa says THE BIG HANDBALL TOURNAMENT,
DUMMY.

Mikey says I ACTUALLY KNEW THAT.
I WAS JUST ASKING IN CASE ANY
OF YOU HAD FORGOTTEN WHAT IT
WAS.
I'M ALWAYS THINKING OF OTHERS.
THAT'S ONE OF MY BEST
QUALITIES.
THAT AND MY CHEEKY SMILE.

Jerry says HAVE YOU TRACED THE POST YET?

Kevin says IS THE EARTH FLAT?

Jerry says NO.

Kevin says THEN THERE'S YOUR ANSWER,
BRAINIAC.

Jerry says YOU SAID YOU WOULD.

Kevin says I DID.
BUT THEN THESE BAD BOYS ARRIVED
TODAY, AND I GOT...

He plays with two hand grippers and DISTRACTED.

Salwa says SO, CAN YOU PROVE TIFFANY
SENT THE VIDEO OF CRAPPER
DANCING?

Kevin says IS THE EARTH ROUND?

Salwa says DUH!
I THOUGHT YOU WERE SMART!
(PHONE BUZZING)

Kevin says GIVE ME A MINUTE.
OH.

Salwa says WELL?

Kevin says OH, SORRY.
I JUST TEXTED MY MUM.
WHAT WAS THE QUESTION?

Salwa says WHEN CAN YOU PROVE TIFFANY
HACKED ME?

Kevin says UH... TOMORROW.
NOW, FLY AWAY, LITTLE CHILDREN,
BACK TO SCHOOL.
FLY, FLY, FLY.

Jerry, Salwa, and Mikey walk in the classroom.

Miss Crapper says YOU'RE LATE.

Jerry says I'M VERY SORRY, MISS.
MY LEGS WERE SORE.
BUT MIKEY AND SALWA KINDLY
HELPED.

Miss Crapper says WELL, I...
TAKE A BOOK AND READ.

Jerry says THANK YOU, MISS.

Mikey whispers to Jerry ARE YOUR LEGS
REALLY SORE?

Jerry says NO, BUT HARD TO
ARGUE WITH CEREBRAL PALSY.

Mikey says OH, YOU ARE BAD.

Jerry says NOT AS BAD AS YOU WOULD BE
IN THE TOURNAMENT, MAHAKI.
AND BY "BAD," I MEAN GOOD.

Mikey says SALWA?

Salwa sits in a corner of the classroom by herself.

Jerry says LET'S GIVE HER SOME SPACE.

Mikey says SWEET.
I WANT TO CHECK OUT ROMAN
HISTORY.

Jerry says AH, YES.
THE HISTORY OF THE COLOSSEUM IS
PARTICULARLY FASCINATING.

Miss Crapper says SHH!

Jerry starts drawing and says MAHAKI?

Mikey says YEAH?

Jerry says MEET ME IN THE QUIET
ROOM IN FIVE.

Mikey says SURE.

(WATER FLOWING)

Jerry sets up the tranquil room with candles.

(BIRD CHIRPING)

In the tranquil room, Mikey says HEAPS TRANQUIL.
WHAT DID YOU WANT TO SAY BEFORE?

Jerry says REMEMBER MAHAKI SENIOR'S TALK
ABOUT MAUI?

Mikey says YEAH.
MAUI'S AWESOME!

Jerry says INDEED.
I MADE A VERY FASCINATING
DISCOVERY TODAY.
MAUI HAD A SON.

Mikey says FOR REAL?

Jerry says IT'S ON THE INTERNET.

Mikey says THEN IT MUST BE TRUE.

Jerry says UH, GOOD.
SO, MAUI'S SON WAS CALLED HOWIE.
AND HE WAS A HANDBALL HERO.

Mikey says NO WAY!

Jerry says YES WAY.
SHUT YOUR EYES, MIKEY, AND
AWAKEN YOURSELF TO THE LEGEND
OF HOWIE.

He hits the triangle.

(CHIMING)

He chants YAKALAKA, YAKALAKA,
YAKALAKA...

He says WELCOME TO THE LAND OF HOWIE.
SO, HOWIE WAS THE SON OF MAUI.

Mikey says HEY, MAUI.

Daddy says HEY, HOWIE.
(GRUNTING)

Jerry says NOW, MAUI WAS SICK OF
THE DAYS BEING SHORT, SO HE
CAUGHT THE SUN AND ASKED IT TO
SLOW DOWN.

Daddy says OUR SUN, COULD YOU SLOW DOWN
SO OUR DAYS COULD BE LONGER?

As the sun, Auntie says I'M HOT.

Daddy says SURE.

Jerry says WITH LONGER DAYS,
HOWIE SAID...

Mikey says THERE'S SO MUCH
DAYLIGHT.
WISH THERE WAS A SKUX GAME I
COULD PLAY.

Daddy says CATCH A STAR AND TURN IT INTO
A BALL.
THAT'S SKUX AS.
JUST DON'T CATCH THAT ONE,
BECAUSE WE NEED OUR DAYTIME.

Jerry says HOWIE WAITED 'TIL
NIGHT, AND HE CAUGHT THE STAR
WITH MAUI'S HOOK.
HOWIE SAID TO THE STAR...

Mikey says HEY, STAR, CAN YOU BE A BALL?

Salwa says FINE.

Jerry says THE STAR SHRANK
ITSELF INTO THE SIZE OF A
HANDBALL.
THEN MORNING CAME.
HOWIE WAS READY TO PLAY
HANDBALL, BUT...

Salwa says I DON'T BOUNCE.
YOU NEED RUBBER.

Jerry says QUITE RIGHT.
SO HOWIE TOOK A CANOE TO RUBBER
ISLAND.

As a tree, Tiffany says THIS IS STUPID.

Miss Crapper says NO, THIS IS THEATRE.

Jerry says SO, HOWIE HOOKED SOME
RUBBER AND WRAPPED IT AROUND
HIS STAR.

Salwa says I'M BOUNCY!

Jerry says AND THAT WAS THE
FIRST EVER HANDBALL.
HOWIE'S DAD, MAUI, WAS
SUPER-PROUD.

Daddy says I'M SUPER-PROUD.

Jerry says AND HOWIE WENT ON TO
WIN THE VERY FIRST EVER
HANDBALL TOURNAMENT.
AND THAT'S HOW HE BECAME HOWIE
THE HANDBALL HERO.
(CHIMING)

Mikey wakes up.

Jerry says YOU SEE, MAHAKI?
HANDBALL'S IN YOUR BLOOD.

Mikey says BUT I GOT ZERO SKILL.

Jerry says BUT WITH TRAINING, I KNOW
YOU'LL HAVE A REAL SHOT.

Mikey says THIS HOWIE LEGEND...
IT'S REAL, RIGHT?

Salwa says I BELIEVE IT, MAHAKI.

Later in the classroom, Mikey says WHAT YOU READING NOW?

Salwa says THE HISTORY OF THE SAMURAI.

Mikey says EH, JERRY'S BIG BRO WILL COME
THROUGH.

Salwa says IF HE DOESN'T, I DON'T PLAY.

Mikey says IT'S JUST A GAME.

Salwa says YOU CAN'T JUST DO BAD STUFF
AND GET AWAY WITH IT.
IF I MISS THE TOURNAMENT BECAUSE
TIFFANY'S A LIAR, THEN IT'S NOT
FAIR.
AND STUFF SHOULD BE FAIR.
YOU KNOW, HONOURABLE.

Mikey says WAS THAT IN YOUR SAMURAI
BOOK?

Salwa says YEAH.

Mikey says WELL, IN MY BOOK, I LEARNED
THAT THE COLOSSEUM WAS MADE OF
STONE AND CEMENT.

Salwa says DUH.

Mikey says OKAY, NOT AS RELEVANT AS YOUR
POINT NOW.

At night, Mikey, Auntie and Daddy have dinner at a fast food restaurant.

Auntie says I WAS ALL SHOOK UP, BUT IN
THE END, IT WASN'T ELVIS.
(CHUCKLING)
IT WAS JUST ROCCO FROM THE
SERVO.
(LAUGHING)

Mikey says WOULD HAVE BEEN SWEET IF IT
WAS ELVIS, BUT THEN IT WOULD'VE
BEEN ZOMBIE ELVIS.
'CAUSE HE'S DEAD.
(LAUGHING)

The server says HEH, HEH, ALRIGHT.
I GOT THE FAMILY PACK WITH
CHICKEN AND TOUM.

Auntie says GARLIC.

Daddy says AH, ME!

The server says FAMILY PACK WITH CALAMARI AND
TOUM.

Daddy says ME TOO!

The server says AND A FAMILY PACK WITH, UH,
FALAFEL AND TOUM.

Daddy says THAT'S ME AGAIN.

The server says DANG, YOU'RE TRAINING HARD,
MAN.

Daddy says EXTRA HARD.
GOT TO MAKE THE TEAM.

The server says AND A COUPLE OF WRAPS?
TOUM.
NAH, NO WORRIES, AND, UH, THANKS
FOR COMING AROUND TO CHICKEN
BILLY'S.
DON'T BE SILLY.
IT'S THE MOTTO THAT WE HAVE
HERE.
SO, ENJOY-- ENJOY YOUR FOOD.
THANK YOU.

Mikey says THANKS, BRO.

Auntie says HOW WAS YOUR DAY, BOY?

Mikey says CHOICE.
I'M THINKING ABOUT DOING THE
HANDBALL TOURNAMENT.
YEAH, BUT I'M NOT SURE.
BUT JERRY TOLD ME ABOUT HOWIE
THE HANDBALL HERO.

Auntie says WHAT?

Mikey says HOWIE.
SON OF MAUI.

Auntie says WHAT DID HE SAY?

Mikey says YOU KNOW THE LEGEND.
CAUGHT SOME STARS, HOOKED SOME
RUBBER, CREATED THE FIRST EVER
HANDBALL.
IT'D BE SWEET TO BE LIKE HIM.

Daddy says UH, BOY, UM...

Auntie says THIS TOURNAMENT, GOING TO
GET YOU ACTIVE?

Mikey says YEAH.

Auntie says PLAYING WITH YOUR FRIENDS?

Mikey says SURE.

Auntie says MAYBE SOME COMPETITIVE
SPIRIT?

Mikey says YEAH, PLUS IF THE BULLIES GET
AWAY WITH CYBERCRIMES, I'LL
MAKE SURE STUFF IS FAIR...
SAMURAI STYLE.

Daddy says IF HOWIE HELPS YOU PLAY, THEN
HOWIE'S HERE TO STAY.
RIGHT, AUNTIE?
YES.

Auntie says MMM.

Meanwhile, Kevin tries to access Salwa's Facebook profile.

(ALARM SOUNDING)

A warning sign reads "Warning: Encryption located."

Kevin says HOLY BLOWFISH!

Music plays as the end credits roll.

Jerry says WHAT DID THE APPLE SAY TO THE
CAT?
NOTHING, APPLES DON'T TALK.