A screen Australia and the Australia Broascasting Corporation present in association with The Children's Television Foundation and Create New Sourth Wales. A Northern Pictures Production.

A group of school kids sing a rap song that says A NEW DAY DAWNS IN
THE WILD WILD WEST
WHEN A SCHOOL WILL DISCOVER
WHO WILL BE THE BEST
AND YOU KNOW WHEN THE GOING
GETS TOUGH

Salwa is around 10, with long brown hair in a braid and wears a school uniform.

Mikey is around 10, with slightly long wavy brown hair in a bun and he wears a school uniform.

Jerry is around 10, with short wavy light brown hair and wears a school uniform.

Tiffany around 10, with long curly brown hair and wears glasses, a yellow tracksuit and a white headband.

Lily is around 10, with long brown hair in pigtail braids with colourful ribbons and wears a yellow tracksuit and a white headband.

Lance is in his early teens, with short straight blond hair and wears a yellow tracksuit and a white headband.

The song continues MIKEY'S GOING TO DIG DOWN
AND USE THE RIGHT STUFF
'CAUSE IF YOU WANNA PLAY
HANDBALL
THEN YOU'VE GOTTA GIVE IT
YOUR ALL
COME ON
'CAUSE IF YOU WANNA PLAY
HANDBALL
YOU'VE GOTTA THINK BIG,
NOT SMALL
IF YOU WANNA PLAY HANDBALL
THEN YOU'VE GOTTA PLAY
HARDBALL

A caption reads "Created and written by Guy Edmonds and Matt Zemeres."

The name of the show reads "Hardball."

In the classroom, Miss Crapper shows some students a video.

On the video, a flashy young man says ALOHA.
DO YOU WANT TO BE AWESOME?
THEN LISTEN UP.
I'M GARRY GARRISON, AIR GUITAR
LEGEND, SINGER, AND WORLD
HANDBALL CHAMPION.
NOW, WHEN I'M NOT IN HAWAII
POLISHING MY TROPHIES...
OH YEAH, REAL CRYSTAL!
I RUN WORKSHOPS TO SHOW YOU
THE KEY TO HANDBALL SUCCESS.
WHETHER IT'S WORKING ON
TECHNIQUE...
LEARNING A NEW MOVE,
OR EXPLODING A BALL WITH RAW
POWER...

He makes a ball on his hand explode.

He says I CAN TAKE YOU FROM HANDBALL
ZERO TO HERO.
HERO, HERO, HERO.
SO BOOK NOW- 1-300-HANDBALL.

Mikey says HE SURE LOVES AN EXPLOSION.

Salwa says YOU'RE SO LUCKY, BRO!

Miss Crapper says YES.
BUTTERFIELD PRIMARY ARE VERY
KINDLY FLYING MR. GARRISON OVER
TO RUN TODAY'S WORKSHOP FOR
SASI-WESTS-HAT.

Mikey says SO COOL.

Miss Crapper says WHERE'S LILY?

Tiffany says DANCE RECITAL.

Miss Crapper says GOOD FOR HER.
I THOUGHT WE MIGHT TAKE THIS
OPPORTUNITY TO DISCUSS MY
EXPECTATIONS FOR TODAY.
YOU'LL BE ON SITE AT
BUTTERFIELD, WESTERN SYDNEY'S
MOST ELITE PRIMARY SCHOOL.

Salwa says IT'S SUPER POSH.
THEY EAT CUCUMBER SANDWICHES AND
SAY, "HOW DO YOU DO?" AND CALL A
TOILET A WATER CLOSET.

Jerry says WHY NOT JUST SAY TOILET?

Salwa says BECAUSE THEY'RE REFINED, BRO.

Mikey says I HEARD THEY HAVE A
HELICOPTER PAD.

Miss Crapper says THEY HAVE TWO.
AND AS YOU'D KNOW, TIFFANY, THE
BEST AND BRIGHTEST FLOCK THERE.

Tiffany says TRUST ME, MISS, IT'S NOT ALL
IT'S CRACKED UP TO BE.
BLOCK STREET'S A MUCH BETTER
SCHOOL.

Miss Crapper says WELL, THANK YOU.
THAT SAID, I DON'T WANT ANY OF
YOU DOING ANYTHING THAT MIGHT
BRING THE SCHOOL INTO DISREPUTE.

Tiffany says I WON'T DO ANYTHING BAD.

Miss Crapper says IT'S NOT YOU I'M WORRIED
ABOUT.
THERE'LL BE A LOCAL NEWS CREW
PRESENT.

Mikey says SKUX!
WE'RE GONNA BE ON TV!

Miss Crapper says IT'S PARAMOUNT WE PUT OUR
BEST FOOT FORWARD AND REMEMBER
TO BE KIND, CARING, COURTEOUS.

Mikey says WHAT IF "KIND" STARTED WITH A
C?
THEN YOU COULD SAY "THE THREE
CS"!
THAT WOULD BE A PRETTY CHOICE
POSTER FOR YOUR OFFICE.

Miss Crapper says YES.
YES, IT WOULD.

Tiffany says MISS, JERRY AND SALWA AREN'T
PLAYING AT SASI'S.
WHY ARE THEY HERE?

Miss Crapper says ON THAT, THE GUIDELINES STATE
THAT ONE COACH FROM EACH SCHOOL
WILL BE PERMITTED TO ATTEND THE
WORKSHOP.
ONE.

Salwa says BUT THERE'S TWO OF US.

Miss Crapper says RULES ARE RULES.

Tiffany says SAD.
AH, WELL.
AT LEAST ONE OF YOU CAN COME.
I MEAN, I COULD'VE BROUGHT A
COACH, BUT I DON'T NEED ONE.
I'M DOING FINE WITHOUT A COACH,
OKAY?

Jerry says YOU GO, SALWA.

Salwa says NAH, YOU.

Jerry says I INSIST.

Salwa says NAH, I DO.

Tiffany says UGH, JUST DO ROCK, PAPER,
SCISSORS, OKAY?

Mikey says GOOD IDEA.

Jerry says ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS, SHOOT!

Salwa wins.

Jerry says BE A SPONGE, MAHAKI.

In the parking lot, Miss Crapper opens a van door.

Mikey says AFTER YOU.

Tiffany says THANKS, OKAY.

Salwa gives him a snarky look.

Mikey says WHAT?
I'M BEING KCC.
(POSH MUSIC PLAYING)

They arrive at Butterfield College.

A student opens the van door for them and says HOW DO YOU DO?
WELCOME TO BUTTERFIELD COLLEGE.

They all say HOW DO YOU DO?

As they walk along the campus, the see students having fancy picnics, playing bridge, etc.

A student in an apron serves them drinks.

Mikey says DON'T MIND IF I DO.

Salwa says THANK YOU.

Salwa says HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE COMING?

Tiffany says ALL THE PARTICIPANTS WERE
INVITED, SO.

Salwa says WASN'T ASKING YOU.

Mikey says BRO, KCC.

Beatrice says NO WAY.
IT IS YOU.

Beatrice is around 10 and has long wavy light brown hair. She wears a fancy school uniform.

A girl with glasses says OH.
WOW.

A blond boy says SO GREAT TO SEE YOU.
I TOTALLY MISSED YOU.

Beatrice says JEFF.

Jeff says OH, SORRY.

Mikey says THESE KIDS ARE STRANGELY
FAMILIAR.

Beatrice says IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME.

Tiffany says YEAH.

Salwa says DO YOU GO HERE?

Beatrice says YEP, STUDENT REP.
HOPING FOR SCHOOL CAPTAIN DOWN
THE TRACK.
NAME'S BEATRICE ROCKFORD.

Mikey says AH, HEARD ABOUT YOU.

Beatrice says ONLY GOOD THINGS, I HOPE.

Mikey says UMM...

Tiffany says HOW'S THINGS?

Beatrice says GOOD.
GREAT.
GROOVY.
DIDN'T KNOW SCHOOLS LIKE YOURS
CAME TO THINGS LIKE THIS.

Tiffany says ACTUALLY, MY DADS ARE
SPONSORING THE TOURNAMENT.

Beatrice says CUTE.
TIFF USED TO GO HERE.
DIDN'T SHE?

Tiffany says YEAH.

Beatrice says WE WERE BESTIES, WEREN'T WE?

Tiffany says NOT REALLY.

Beatrice says OUCH.
HONESTY SESSION.
WHY'D YOU LEAVE SCHOOL AGAIN,
TIFF?

Mikey says HEY, CHILL OUT, EH.

Beatrice says I'M HAVING FUN.

Mikey says BUT IT TAKES TWO TO TANGO.

Beatrice says FIRSTLY, I DON'T DANCE.
SECONDLY, NOT QUITE GETTING IT.
THIRDLY, MORNING TEA TIME.
SEE YOU ON THE COURTS, TIFF.
CAN'T WAIT.
(CHATTERING)

The kids enter the school gym.

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING FROM STEREO)

Garry makes an entrance riding a scooter.

He says WOO!
YEAH!
GUYS, CLUMP UP!
CLUMP UP, I'M GONNA DO A THING.
YOU'LL LOVE IT!
CLUMP UP!
WOO!
CLUMP UP!
OKAY!
EVERYONE ON THEIR FEET!
ON THEIR FEET, EVERYONE!
WOO!
WE'RE STANDING, WE'RE STANDING,
AND NOW WE'RE SITTING.
WOO!
WHAT'S UP?
(THUDDING)
OKAY!
JUST WATCH-- (UNCLEAR).
WOO!
YEAH!
WOO!
OKAY, CUT THE MUSIC!
CUT THE MUSIC!
CUT THE MUSIC, JUST CUT IT.
(MUSIC STOPPING)
OKAY!
HELLO, EVERYONE!
I'M GARRY GARRISON.
AND TODAY'S THE DAY YOU GO FROM
ZERO TO HERO!
WOO, YEAH!
SHOOT ME FROM THIS SIDE, GUYS.
SHOOT ME FROM THIS SIDE.
(CLEARING THROAT)

The camera crew follows his moves.

Mikey says IS HE LEGIT?

Salwa says HE'S WEIRD, BUT HE'S A
LEGEND.

Mikey says WHERE'S TIFF?

Salwa says WHO CARES?
HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN WHAT SHE DID
TO ME?

Mikey says JUST SCRATCHING BENEATH THE
SURFACE, YOU KNOW.

Salwa says DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME.

Mikey says MAYBE LEOPARDS CAN CHANGE
THEIR SPOTS.

Salwa says I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE
HANGING OUT WITH HER.

Mikey says THIS IS A HANDBALL BOOT CAMP
WITH PEOPLE IN SASI'S.
I'M IN SASI'S, SHE'S IN SASI'S,
WE'RE ALL IN SASI'S.

Salwa says SHE'S WIPED.

Mikey says CAN WE JUST HAVE FUN TODAY
AND NOT GET ALL INTENSE AND
STUFF?

Salwa says FINE.

Garry says WHERE WAS I?
OH, YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.
STOP STUFFING YOUR FACES AND
WE'LL GET INTO IT.
AND MAYBE ONE DAY, YOU CAN WIN
YOURSELF ONE OF THESE.

He uncovers the crystal trophy.

The crowd gasps.

(GASPING IN AWE)

Garry says YEAH.
DOUBT YOURS WILL BE AS AWESOME
AS CHARLENE.
THAT'S HER NAME.
THAT'S HER NAME!
DO YOU WANNA HEAR AN AWESOME
STORY ABOUT HOW COOL SHE IS?

Mikey says YEAH.

Everyone says YES!

Garry says I SAID, YOU WANNA HEAR A
STORY ABOUT HOW AWESOME SHE IS?

Everyone says YEAH!

Garry jumps with excitement and says YEAH!
I BOUGHT HER AN EXTRA SEAT ON
THE PLANE FROM HAWAII JUST SO
SHE DIDN'T HAVE TO TRAVEL IN THE
OVERHEAD LUGGAGE!
(BEATS PLAYING)

He holds a ball and says OKAY, THIS ONE IS CALLED
"CONFRONTING THE SHADOW."
MICKY, GET UP HERE.
THAT'S YOU, MATE.
GET UP HERE.
WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN IS MICKY'S
GONNA THROW THE BALL.
YOU'RE ALL GOING TO GET OUTTA
THE WAY.
IF HE HITS YOU, YOU'RE OUT.
LAST ONE STANDING WINS.

Tiffany says DODGEBALL, COOL.

Garry says HOW DARE YOU?

Tiffany says WHAT?

Garry says DO YOU THINK I WON CHARLENE
BY PLAYING GAMES LIKE DODGEBALL?
NO.
APOLOGY ACCEPTED.
MMKAY.
AND...
(WHISTLE BLOWING)

Mikey hits Tiffany and says SORRY, TIFF.

Tiffany says WHATEVER.

Garry says YOU'RE OUT.

Mikey says YOU OKAY?

Tiffany says DODGEBALL'S DUMB.

Garry says AH-OH!
OUT.

Salwa says GOOD ONE, MIKEY!

Garry says OUT.
(SCREAMING)
OUT.
(SCREAMING)
OUT!

Mikey says SORRY.

Salwa says BYE-BYE!
(GRUNTING)
AH, BAD LUCK.
GOOD ONE, MIKEY!
GOOD ONE!

Garry says OOH.
SEE THE NURSE ABOUT-- YEAH.
OUT.
OUT, YOU'RE OUT.
MICKY, NICE POWER.
AND FOR THE REST OF YOU,
PATHETIC!

Mikey says SORRY, GUYS.

A girl approaches Salwa with a tray full of sandwiches and says CARE FOR A CUCUMBER SANDWICH?

Salwa says I WILL.
THANK YOU.
UM, EXCUSE ME.

The girl says YES, HOW DO YOU DO?

Salwa says WHERE IS THE TOILET?

The girl says OH, YOU MEAN THE WATER
CLOSET?

Salwa says YES.

The girl says RIGHT THERE.

Salwa says CHEERS, BRO.

The girl says YES, CHEERS.
BRO.

Tiffany says THE NEWS WANNA INTERVIEW US.
COME ON.

Mikey says NICE TO MEET YOU, PEGGY.
PICK THIS UP LATER.

A reporter says THANKS.
MIKEY, IS IT?

Mikey says THAT'S ME.

The reporter says JUST GONNA ASK YOU A COUPLE
OF QUESTIONS.
PRETEND THE CAMERA'S NOT HERE.

says EASY AS.

says OKAY.
THREE, TWO, ONE, AND...
I'M HERE WITH TIFFANY AND MIKEY,
TWO SQUAD MEMBERS FROM BLOCK
STREET PRIMARY.
SO, TIFFANY, WE'LL START WITH
YOU.
BIG HANDBALL TOURNAMENT ROUND
THE CORNER.
HOW ARE WE FEELING?

Tiffany says YEAH, PRETTY EXCITED, THANKS.
UM...

Beatrice looks at her from afar and makes funny faces.

Tiffany says WE ARE...
I'M TIFFANY?

The reporter says OKAY, WE'LL GO AGAIN FROM THE
TOP.
BIT NERVOUS, ARE WE?
THAT'S OKAY.
SO, TIFFANY, BIG HANDBALL
TOURNAMENT COMING UP.
HOW ARE WE FEELING?

Mikey says IT'S GREAT TO BE HERE.
LOOKING FORWARD TO MR. GARRISON,
HOPE WE CAN LEARN SOME NEW
SKILLS LATER.
I WANNA BE BAD, AND BY BAD I
MEAN GOOD.

The reporter says CHARMING!
BUT IN THE END THERE CAN ONLY BE
ONE WINNER.
ANY TENSION?

Mikey says NOT REALLY.
WE'RE PRETTY CHILL.
I MEAN, IT'D BE SWEET TO WIN AND
STUFF, BUT CHALLENGING MYSELF IS
EVEN SWEETER.

The reporter says WISE BEYOND YOUR YEARS.
CUT.

Garry says MY APPROACH REQUIRES THINKING
OUTSIDE THE BOX.
STRIKING FIRST.
WOO!
LIKE A VIPER.
YEAH?

Beatrice's boy friend says MAY I GO TO THE WATER CLOSET?

Garry says THE WHAT?

The boy says TOILET.

Garry says WHY WOULDN'T YOU JUST SAY
TOILET?

The boy says UM, THAT-- CAN I?

Garry says YEAH, YOU MAY, BUT DON'T COME
BACK.

The boy says BUT...

Garry says NO- OUT!
NOW, IN THIS GAME, TALENT CAN
ONLY GET YOU SO FAR.
WHAT ELSE DO YOU NEED?

Tiffany raises her hand.

Garry says PIG TAILS.

Tiffany says IT'S ACTUALLY A SIDE PONY AND
MY NAME'S TIFFANY.
(CHUCKLING)

Garry says WHAT'S TWO MINUS TWO,
TIFFANY?

Tiffany says ZERO.

Garry says CORRECT.
THAT'S HOW MUCH I CARE ABOUT
YOUR HAIR!
NOW I REPEAT, IN THIS GAME, WHAT
ELSE DO YOU NEED?

Tiffany says LUCK?

Garry says CLOSE, BUT NO!

Mikey says UM...

Garry says SHOOT.

Mikey says COMMITMENT?

Garry says CORRECT!

Beatrice says CAN YOU REALLY EXPLODE A
BALL?

Garry says I CAN.

Beatrice says CAN YOU SHOW US?

Garry says NOT YET.
OKAY.
THIS NEXT ONE IS AN EXERCISE TO
HELP YOU FIND YOUR FLOW.

Mikey says WHERE'S IT FROM?

Beatrice says AH, THANK YOU.
A BUDDY OF MINE FROM ABU DHABI
TAUGHT ME THIS AT THE REGIONAL
AIR GUITAR CHAMPIONS IN DUBBO.

Everybody says WHOA.

Garry says TURN OFF YOUR BRAIN,
FIND YOUR FLOW.

Mikey says WHAT'S THAT MEAN?

Garry says WHATEVER YOU WANT IT TO MEAN.

He plays 80s music on a boombox.

(80S ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

The kids start playing air guitar.

(EPIC GUITAR SOLO SQUEALING)
(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)

Later at the stands, Mikey says HEY, GIGI!
THANKS FOR THE AMA.

Salwa says WHAT'S AMA?

Garry says ASK ME ANYTHING.
EVERYONE GETS AN AMA.
YOU'RE NOT SPECIAL.
YOU'VE GOT TWO MINUTES.

Salwa says CAN YOU TEACH HIM A TOPSPIN
BACKSPIN COMBO?
(CHUCKLING)

Garry says THAT'S RIDICULOUS.

Salwa says WHAT CAN YOU TEACH HIM?

Garry says I DON'T KNOW.

Salwa says I THOUGHT THIS WAS A MASTER
CLASS.

Garry says LISTEN, KID, HANDBALL'S NOT
LIKE BUILDING BLOCKS, OKAY?
IT'S NOT ONE SIZE FITS ALL.
IT'S MORE LIKE PAINTING A
DREAMSCAPE BLINDFOLDED WITH SOME
OLD PAINTS YOU GOT FROM THE
BOTTOM DRAWER.
IT'S GOT TO COME...FROM WITHIN.

Mikey says FELT THAT WHEN I WAS FINDING
MY FLOW.

Garry says RIGHT ON, BROTHER.

Salwa says I DON'T GET HOW THIS IS GONNA
HELP HIM IN SASI'S.

Mikey says TRUE.
I'M CRUMBS AT PRECISION.
HOW DO I CHANGE MY...
SLEDGEHAMMERS!

INTO DARTS?

Garry says YOU FIND YOUR WHY, KID.

Mikey says MY WHAT?

Garry says YOUR WHY.

Salwa says HIS WHY?

Garry says HIS WHY.

Salwa says WHY'S THAT?

Garry says DON'T ASK WHY YOU FIND OUT.

Mikey says MY WHY?

Garry says EXACTLY.

Mikey says WHAT'S A WHY?
(SCOFFING)

Garry says WHEN I WON CHARLENE, MY
GRANDFATHER MARLOWE WAS IN A
NURSING HOME.
(CHUCKLING)
I LOVED THAT GUY MORE THAN
BUBBLE TEA.
EVERY TIME I HIT THE BALL, EVERY
TRAINING SESH, EVERY MOMENT OF
DOUBT, HIS LOVE GUIDED ME.
(CHOKING UP)
HE WAS MY WHY.
YOU'VE GOTTA FIND YOUR WHY, KID.

Mikey says WANT A HUG, BRO?

Garry says NO.
JUST LEAVE.
LEAVE, GO.
GET OUT OF HERE.

Later inside the gym, Garry says OKAY, GUYS!
REGROUP, REGROUPING.
OKAY.
NOW, WHAT ELSE DO YOU NEED?

Tiffany says SELF-BELIEF?

Garry says NO, BUT POINTS FOR
ENTHUSIASM.

Mikey says ENDURANCE?

Garry says THIS GUY IS ON FIRE!
YES!
BUDDY OF MINE TAUGHT ME THIS
NEXT ONE IN THE GUATEMALAN
JUNGLE.
YOU RUN BACK AND FORTH UNTIL I
SAY STOP AND NO, IT'S NOT A
SHUTTLE RUN.
(WHISTLE BLOWING)
NOT YOU.
(WHISTLE BLOWING)

The kids start running from side to side of the court.

Garry says GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO!
THE END LINE, THE END LINE, THE
END LINE!
GO!
LET'S GO, MATE, LET'S GO!
YOU CAN DO IT, MATE!
(WHISTLE BLOWING)
GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO!
(WHISTLE BLOWING)
COME ON, BROS!
LET'S GO, MATE, LET'S GO!
YOU CAN DO IT!

Salwa says COME ON, MIKEY!
LET'S MOVE IT, MIKEY!

Garry says COME ON, MIKEY!
LET'S GO!
OKAY.
EVERYBODY PAIR UP AND GRAB A
BALLOON.

Tiffany says HEY.

Mikey says HEY.

Tiffany says UH, MIND IF WE...

Mikey says SWEET.

Garry says IF IT TOUCHES THE GROUND,
YOU'RE OUT.

Mikey says HEY, GIGI, WHERE'S THIS ONE
FROM?
A SPACE STATION ON THE GALAXY'S
OUTER RIM?
(CHUCKLING)

Garry says I LIKE THIS KID.
ACTUALLY, NO.
IT'S UH, IT'S FROM MY THIRD
BIRTHDAY.
ALL RIGHT!
(WHISTLE BLOWING)

After they practice with the balloon, Tiffany says WHAT DID GIGI SAY TO YOU AT
YOUR AMA?

Mikey says THIS AND THAT.
YOU?

Tiffany says WE JUST RAN AROUND THE STUPID
OVAL.
HE WAS ON HIS PHONE HALF THE
TIME.

Mikey says DANG.

Tiffany says DID HE SHOW YOU HOW TO
EXPLODE THE BALL?

Mikey says NO.

Tiffany says SHOW YOU ANY SECRET MOVES?

Mikey says THAT WOULD BE SECRET, EH?

Tiffany says TELL ME, OKAY.

Mikey says UGH, GO GET SOME SUSHI.

Tiffany says I WILL.
I'M ACTUALLY REALLY HUNGRY,
SO MY IDEA, NOT YOURS.

(POSH STRING MUSIC PLAYING)

Tiffany walks to the sushi table.

Beatrice approaches her and says GREAT WORK ON THE INTERVIEW.

Tiffany says THANKS.

They fight over the last plate of sushi.

Tiffany says I WAS HERE FIRST.

Beatrice says IT'S MY SCHOOL.

Tiffany says SO?

Beatrice says SO, IT'S MY SUSHI.

Tiffany lets go and says YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'M NOT GONNA PLAY YOUR GAMES,
OKAY?
I'M GONNA PLAY BALL- HANDBALL,
THAT IS.

Beatrice says YEAH, I GOT THAT.

Tiffany says GOOD.
LOOK FORWARD TO IT.

Beatrice says SAME.

Tiffany says GREAT.

Beatrice says GROOVY.

As tiffany walks away, Beatrice leaves the plate on the table and says SUSHI'S DUMB.

Tiffany goes back to Mikey and Salwa.

Mikey says HOW WAS IT?
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
(LAUGHING)

Garry says OKAY.
RIGHT, NOW WE ARE ALL WINNERS
HERE TODAY, BUT THERE IS ONE KID
WHO HAS MANAGED TO IMPRESS ME
WITH SOME PRETTY TIP-TOP TUDE.
MICKY, IT'S YOU, MATE.
GET UP HERE.
WELL DONE, YEP.
HA-HA-HA.

Mikey says THANKS.

Mikey looks at the camera and says I KNOW HE KEEPS CALLIN' ME
MICKY, I JUST DON'T WANNA TELL
HIM BECAUSE I DON'T WANT HIM TO
FEEL BAD.

Garry says OKAY, LET ME-- LET ME PUT
THIS BADGE ON YA HERE.
THERE YOU GO.
AND THERE'S YOUR BADGE.
HA-HA-HA.
YEAH, NICE ONE.

Mikey says CHOICE BADGE, BRO.

Garry says UH, MEGA-CHOICE.
NOW REMEMBER, IT'S NOT JUST
ALWAYS ABOUT HAVING SKILL.
IT'S ABOUT BEING AWESOME AND
ALWAYS GIVING IT YOUR ALL.
THANK YOU.

(HALF-HEARTED APPLAUSE)

Beatrice takes out a ball, looks at her friends and throws it to Tiffany.

(WHOOSHING)

Mikey sees her and diverts the ball. The ball hits the crystal trophy and the trophy breaks.

(BALL WHISTLING)
(SHATTERING)
(ALL GASPING)

Garry says CHARLENE!
NOOOO!
(PANTING)

Garry runs away.

Mikey says GIGI, STOP!
GIGI!
(MIKEY PANTING)
I'M SO SORRY, BRO.

Garry says IT'S OKAY.

Mikey says NO, LIKE, I'M REALLY SORRY.

Garry says I HEARD YOU.

Mikey says IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
I'D NEVER DO THAT TO SOMEONE ON
PURPOSE, ESPECIALLY SOMEONE LIKE
YOU.

Garry says UGH!
KID!
CHARLENE COST ME LIKE THREE
BUCKS FROM THE TWO DOLLAR STORE
DOWN THE ROAD.

Mikey says THEN WHY'D YOU RUN AWAY?

Garry says FOR THE NEWS CREWS.
YOU KNOW, GET SOME LIKES, SOME
SHARES, SOME REPOSTS.

Mikey says BUT YOU BOUGHT HER A PLANE
TICKET.
(SCOFFING)

Garry says NO WAY WOULD I BRING THE REAL
DEAL ALL THE WAY FROM HAWAII.
COME ON.

Mikey says FOR REAL?

Garry says BANANA PEEL.

Mikey says WHAT?

Garry says YEAH.
WELL, YOU USED TO SAY THAT WHEN
I WAS A KID.
WE USED TO SAY "REAL, REAL,
BANANA PEEL!"

Mikey says OH.

Garry says YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF THAT
BEFORE?
AH, NEVER MIND.

Mikey says CAN YOU REALLY EXPLODE A
BALL?

Garry says I CAN.

Mikey says CAN YOU SHOW ME?

He takes out a ball, looks at it intensely, and the ball explodes.

(INHALING)
(STRAINING)
(GUITAR SOLO SHREDDING)
(SIZZLING)
(FLAME ROARING)

Garry says WOO!

At the garage, Dad lies with a leg up and an ice pad on his ankle.

Mikey says IS IT A BADDY, DADDY?

Dad says NOTHING A LITTLE RICER CAN'T
FIX.

Mikey says FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON'T
KNOW, RICER IS FOR TREATING
SPORTS INJURIES.
IT STANDS FOR REST, ICE,
COMPRESSION, ELEVATION, AND
REFERRAL.
(CHUCKLING)
DADDY'S A RICER-HOLIC.

Dad says SWEET BADGE, BOY.

Mikey says CHUR.

Dad says YOU'RE DOING WELL.

Mikey says YEAH, JUST GOTTA FIND MY WHY
AND I'LL BE SWEET.

Dad says EH?

Mikey says OH, JUST SOMETHING A BUDDY
FROM HAWAII TOLD ME ABOUT
GRANDPA MARLOWE AND HIS PALS.

Dad says OH, HIT THE TV!
IT'S TIME, BOY.
TURN IT ON.
RECORD IT FOR AUNTIE.

Mikey says RETRO AS.

The reporter says GOOD EVENING.
OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT, A YOUNG
WESTIE WANNABE GOES FERAL,
SMASHING A PRICELESS ARTIFACT.
WHAT STARTED OUT AS A FUN DAY
ENDED AS A HORROR FILM WHEN
YOUNG BOY "MICKY" FROM BLOCK
STREET PRIMARY WENT ON A
RAMPAGE.

Garry says NOOO!

The reporter says GARRY GARRISON, THE
INTERNATIONAL HANDBALL DARLING,
WAS CLEARLY DEVASTATED.
(SIGHING)
(PHONE RINGING)

Dad takes the call and says HELLO?
(HIGH-PITCHED TALKING ON PHONE)

Dad says IT'S MS. CRAPPER.

Music plays as the end credits roll.

Jerry says WHAT KIND OF TREE CAN YOU
HOLD IN YOUR HAND?
A PALM TREE!
FUNNY?
INDEED.