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Transcript: TVOkids Host Audition!|That TVOkids Show
Music plays as an animated slate shows a map unfolding. The name of the show reads "That TVOKids Show from home."
Laura and Monica appear on split screens. They each sit inside a different living room. Laura wears a green shirt and headband, and Monica wears a printed blue sweater.
Laura says HEY, TVOKIDS. YOU ARE HANGING OUT WITH LAURA AND MONICA FROM HOME, AND TODAY IS A VERY, VERY EXCITING DAY FOR THAT TVOKIDS SHOW, BECAUSE WE ARE LOOKING FOR A NEW TVOKIDS HOST! SO EXCITING. WILL THEY BE SILLY? WILL THEY BE FUNNY? WILL THEY BE A DEEP SEA DIVER? I REALLY DON'T KNOW. I MEAN, MONICA, WHERE DO WE EVEN START?
Monica says I GOT IT. WE NEED TO CALL SUSAN TALENT. SHE IS THE BEST IN THE BIZ AND REPRESENTS ALL THE HOSTS IN THE ENTIRE CITY.
Laura says OKAY. YES. HOW DID I NOT THINK OF SUSAN TALENT? SHE'S THE BEST OF THE BEST. OKAY. HOLD ON. I'M GOING TO GIVE HER A CALL. HOPEFULLY, SHE PICKS UP. HERE WE GO!
(DIALING) (RINGING)
Inside an office, Susan Talent points at an empty mug. She has curly brown hair and wears glasses, a gray blazer, white shirt, and a long beaded necklace.
Susan says FELICIA, HONEY, THIS CUP'S EMPTY, AND THAT'S A PROBLEM! I ALWAYS NEED A CHAI TEA LATTE IN HERE. OH.
She takes the call and says SUSAN TALENT'S TALENT AGENCY FOR THE VERY TALENTED. SUSAN SPEAKING. HOW CAN I HELP YOU?
Laura says HI! UM, SUSAN TALENT, UH, IT'S MONICA AND LAURA CALLING. WE'RE THE TVOKIDS HOSTS RIGHT NOW, AND WE'RE ACTUALLY LOOKING FOR A NEW TVOKIDS HOST. WE WERE HOPING YOU COULD HELP.
Susan says A TVOKIDS HOST? WELL, YOU CALLED THE RIGHT GAL. LET ME JUST GO THROUGH THE ROSTER, OKAY? THE ROSTER'S JUST THE LIST OF ALL THE TALENT. OKAY. SO, WHO DO WE HAVE HERE?
She picks up a laptop computer and types.
A cartoon of a happy cheetah giving a thumbs up pops up.
She says CHEETAH CHARLIE. CHEETAH CHARLIE. OH, THEY'RE AMAZING. YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE THEM. THEY'RE A TRAINED ACROBAT.
Laura says OH.
Susan says OH, THEY'RE ON THEIR HONEYMOON IN ACAPULCO. BUT THAT'S FINE. THAT'S FINE. WE GOT TONS OF OPTIONS. WE GOT TONS OF OPTIONS. ALRIGHT. OKAY. WHO WE GOT HERE?
A picture shows a pickled cucumber costume.
Susan says PAULETTE PICKLE! OH, PAULETTE PICKLE. THEY'RE A TRAINED THERAPEUTIC CLOWN. ALRIGHT. LET'S SEE.
(LAURA GASPING)
Susan says OH, THEY'RE ON SABBATICAL. THAT MEANS THEY'RE NOT AVAILABLE. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? THAT'S FINE. I KNOW. IT'S TRUE. BUT YOU KNOW, WE GOT TONS OF OPTIONS HERE. LET ME JUST... I GOT AT LEAST ONE MORE. COME ON. WHO WE GOT HERE? OH, WE GOT A NEW GUY! MATT, JUST MATT. ONE NAME. NO LAST NAME. JUST MATT.
A picture shows Matt, the person playing Susan Talent. He's in his twenties, clean-shaven, with chin-length curly brown hair.
Susan says ALRIGHT. OKAY. UH... OH, AND THEY'VE GOT AN AUDITION TAPE. YOU KNOW WHAT? I DON'T KNOW THIS GUY, BUT I'LL SEND YOU THE AUDITION TAPE. YOU TELL ME HOW IT GOES, AND, UH, IF YOU LIKE IT, WE'LL BOOK HIM. HOW'S THAT SOUND?
Monica says THAT'S AMAZING! THANK YOU SO MUCH!
Susan says OH, I LOVE IT! GOD. ANGELICA, CUP, EMPTY! ALRIGHT. THANKS, GUYS! I GOT TO GO! SEE YOU!
Laura says THANKS, SUSAN!
Monica says THANKS, SUSAN!
Laura says WOW.
Monica says LET'S CHECK OUT MATT'S AUDITION TAPE.
A clip plays in which Matt faces the screen and speaks.
He says HEY. MY NAME IS MATT, AND THIS IS MY AUDITION VIDEO TO BE THE NEXT TVOKIDS HOST. I AM 180 CENTIMETRES TALL. MY FAVOURITE COLOUR IS BLUE, AND I HAVE AN 11-YEAR-OLD CHIHUAHUA NAMED HENRY. NOW, I KNOW YOU'RE PROBABLY WONDERING, "WELL, MATT, WHAT ARE YOUR SKILLS? WHAT WILL MAKE YOU A GREAT TVOKIDS HOST?" WELL, THE ANSWER IS A LOT OF THINGS, LIKE, I AM A PROFESSIONAL UNDERWATER GYMNAST, AND I FARM SEAHORSES. AND I CAN RIDE TWO MOTORCYCLES AT THE SAME TIME.
(SIGHING)
Matt says OKAY. I'M SORRY. I CAN'T CONTINUE LIKE THIS. I... I MADE ALL THAT STUFF UP. BUT I PROMISE I ACTUALLY DO HAVE SOME REALLY COOL SKILLS I CAN SHOW YOU... RIGHT NOW... IN THIS TAPE. HERE WE GO. MY REAL SKILLS. CUE COOL TRANSITION... NOW.
As he jumps on a bed he says I'M AN EXCELLENT BED-JUMPER! AND I'M AN EXPERT CHIHUAHUA CUDDLER. COME, HENRY! THIS IS HOW YOU CALL A CHIHUAHUA. COME!
(CLUCKING TONGUE)
He wiggles his fingers and says IT'S CALLED THE WIGGLE FINGERS. WORKS EVERY TIME.
He cuddles an elderly chihuahua.
He says I LOVE TO SING. YEAH BUT SOMETIMES, I'M A LITTLE LOUD.
As he stands on his head he says I CAN STAND ON MY HEAD!
(LAUGHING)
He continues FOR A WHILE. UH... CAN I COME DOWN NOW? AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT ME IS THAT I BELIEVE IN TREATING EVERYONE WITH EMPATHY AND RESPECT. NOW, I'VE GOT HENRY'S HANDY TRAVEL BAG ON ME, AND WE'RE OFF TO EXPLORE THE CITY. COME ON, PUPPY.
He puts on a gray bag and places Henry the chihuahua inside it.
Eh says I HOPE THIS VIDEO HAS BEEN ENOUGH TO SHOW YOU THAT I THINK I'D MAKE AN AWESOME TVOKIDS HOST. WELL, HOPE TO SEE YOU SOON!
He waves and smiles.
A slate reads "Video made possible by Susan Talent's Very Talented Talent Agency Incorporated."
Monica says LAURA, WASN'T MATT'S VIDEO AMAZING?
Laura says YEAH. THERE WERE SO MANY COOL THINGS THAT HE COULD DO. IT WAS AWESOME.
Monica says YEAH. HE HAD THE CHIHUAHUA WIGGLE FINGERS, AND HE COULD STAND ON HIS HEAD. AND HE HAS AN AMAZING SINGING VOICE. I THINK HE'S AWESOME, BUT IT'S NOT JUST UP TO US. I THINK IT'S UP TO THE TVOKIDS AT HOME.
Laura says I THINK YOU'RE EXACTLY RIGHT, MONICA. HE'S DEFINITELY PASSED ROUND ONE, BUT ROUND TWO IS FOR SURE THE TVOKIDS. SO, WHY DON'T WE GIVE A TVOKID A CALL? WHAT DO YOU THINK?
Monica says THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.
Laura says OKAY. I KNOW JUST WHO I'M GOING TO CALL: JUANES! GIVE ME ONE SEC.
(DIALING) (RINGING)
Juanes sits inside a bedroom wearing headphones.
A caption reads "Juanes."
He says HELLO?
(PEOPLE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)
Laura says HI, JUANES!
Susan says HI.
Laura says OKAY.
Susan says HOW ARE YOU GUYS?
Laura says SO GOOD.
Monica says GOOD. HOW ARE YOU?
Susan says I'M GOOD.
Monica says JUANES, WE NEED YOUR HELP. SO, WE NEED HELP FINDING A NEW TVOKIDS HOST. SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK IS THE MOST IMPORTANT ABOUT BEING A TVOKIDS HOST?
Susan says WELL, DEFINITELY, YOU KNOW, THROW SOME HUMOUR INTO THE SHOW, DEFINITELY.
Laura says YES.
Monica says THAT'S AMAZING.
Laura says I LOVE THAT, JUANES. SOME HUMOUR. WE GOT TO BE FUNNY. WE GOT TO HAVE FUN. IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE THAT YOU THINK IS IMPORTANT?
Susan says MM... I THINK... I THINK ALWAYS KEEPING A SMILE ALWAYS HELPS, TOO.
Laura says LOVE THAT SO MUCH. OKAY. WELL, JUANES, LISTEN. WE ACTUALLY HAVE MATT, A CANDIDATE FOR OUR NEXT TVOKIDS HOST, WAITING IN THE WAITING ROOM. DO YOU WANT TO ASK HIM SOME QUESTIONS YOURSELF?
Susan says YEAH.
Monica says THAT'S AWESOME.
Laura says ALRIGHT. LET'S BRING IN MATT.
Monica says LET'S GO TO MATT.
(PEOPLE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)
Matt appears on screen.
Susan says HELLO.
Matt says HI! HI, JUANES!
Susan says HOW ARE YOU?
Matt says I'M REALLY GOOD. SO, I HEAR YOU HAVE TO ASK ME SOME QUESTIONS, AND THAT'S AN IMPORTANT PART OF THIS JOB INTERVIEW. IS THAT RIGHT?
Susan says YES.
Matt says OKAY.
Susan says THAT IS CORRECT.
Matt says HIT ME.
Susan says FIRST THINGS FIRST. HOW MANY TIMES CAN YOU SAY "SUPERCALIFRAGILISTIC- EXPIALIDOCIOUS." WITHOUT MESSING UP?
Matt says OKAY. LET'S TRY IT.
He takes a deep breath, then quickly pronounces SUPERCALIFRAGILISTIC-EXPIALIDOCIOUS. SUPERCALIFRAGILISTIC-EXPIALIDOCIOUS. SUPERCALIFRAGILISTIC-EXPIALIDOCIOUS. SUPERCALIFRAGILISTIC-EXPIALIDOCIOUS.
(GASPING)
He says THAT'S FOUR.
Susan says FOUR TIMES. THAT'S IMPRESSIVE.
Matt says THANK YOU.
Susan says OKAY. NOT INCLUDING THAT TVOKIDS SHOW, WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE TVOKIDS SHOW?
Matt says I THINK IT'S ODD SQUAD.
Susan says OH, THAT'S MY FAVOURITE, TOO.
(LAUGHING)
Susan says YEP. IT'S A CLASSIC. DO YOU HAVE ANY OTHER TALENTS?
Matt says OTHER TALENTS? UM... I MADE A MUSIC VIDEO.
Susan says MM. ALRIGHT. CAN YOU SHOW IT TO US?
Matt says SURE. UH, OKAY. I'VE NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE. WELL, TVOKIDS, THIS IS MY ORIGINAL MUSIC VIDEO, "WHAT I LIKE." CHECK IT OUT.
A clip plays.
Upbeat music plays.
Matt lies inside his bed with Henry and says YOU WANT TO GET TO KNOW ME?
As he gets up, he says WELL, I WANT TO GET TO KNOW YOU, TOO.
As he sings, he grabs his travel bag and a longboard, then skates around a park.
He sings SO MUCH WE CAN DO KEEP IT REAL AND STAY TRUE WANT TO SHARE IT WITH YOU YEAH LONGBOARD BY THE LAKE EATING CHOCOLATE CAKE ALL THE SNACKS WE CAN MAKE YEAH GO TO THE BEACH, CLIMB A TREE, PLAY OUTSIDE LOOK UP TO THE CLOUDS ROLLING BY ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT THAT'S WHAT I LIKE AND I REALLY LOVE THE COLOURS WHEN THE SUN GOES DOWN AND I ALWAYS FEEL MUCH BETTER WHEN HENRY'S AROUND...
As he sits on a beach he picks Henry up and cuddles him.
He says YEAH, GO TO THE BEACH, CLIMB A TREE, PLAY OUTSIDE LOOK UP TO THE CLOUDS ROLLING BY ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT THAT'S WHAT I LIKE!
Back in his bed, he falls asleep next to Henry.
The clip ends.
Monica says MATT, THAT WAS SUCH AN AMAZING MUSIC VIDEO. YOU ARE SO TALENTED, AND I LOVE CHOCOLATE CAKE, TOO! SO, SOMEBODY REALLY WANTS TO MEET YOU. IT IS ACTUALLY MAYOR LAUREL, THE MAYOR OF THE FOREST HERSELF, AND SHE'S INSISTING ON MEETING YOU BEFORE LAURA AND I CAN GIVE THE FINAL OKAY. HAVE YOU MET HER BEFORE?
Matt says NO, I'VE NEVER MET A MAYOR BEFORE. IT SOUNDS EXCITING. I'M REALLY EXCITED.
Monica says ALRIGHT. SO, IT IS VERY EXCITING. (LAUGHING) SO, I'M GOING TO GIVE HER A CALL RIGHT NOW. HOLD ON.
(DIALING) (RINGING)
Monica says OKAY. GOOD LUCK, MATT.
Matt says OKAY.
Monica says YOU'RE GOING TO KICK IT.
Matt says OH, ALRIGHT. (LAUGHING) BYE!
Monica says SEE YOU!
Laurel appears inside a purple space and says HELLO!
Matt says HI! I'VE NEVER MET A MAYOR BEFORE. IT'S REALLY AN HONOUR TO MEET YOU.
Laurel says OH, I'M SURE IT IS AN HONOUR. I'M A VERY HONOURABLE MAYOR AND PERSON. NOW, LISTEN HERE. MATT, IS IT?
Matt says YEAH.
Laurel says I HEAR YOU WANT TO BE THE NEXT TVOKIDS HOST.
(LAUGHING)
Matt says YEAH, I DO. YEAH.
Laurel says WELL, IF YOU WANT TO BE A TVOKIDS HOST, YOU'LL HAVE TO PASS A COUPLE CHALLENGES.
Matt says OKAY. SOUNDS KIND OF FUN. WHAT ARE THEY?
Laurel says WELL, THEY'RE A SERIES OF CHALLENGES THAT I DOUBT YOU'D PASS. (LAUGHING) BUT I GUESS WE'LL GO AHEAD WITH THEM ANYWAYS. THE FIRST: YOU HAVE 30 SECONDS TO TIE-DYE AN ENTIRE T-SHIRT AND WRITE THE THAT TVOKIDS SHOW LOGO ON IT. BUT LISTEN HERE. THERE'S SOME SUPPLIES UNDERNEATH YOUR CHAIR.
(LAUGHING)
Matt bends over, then picks up a hot glue gun and other crafting materials.
He says OH. THIS STUFF? WAIT. HOW DID YOU GET IN MY APARTMENT?
Laurel says DON'T ASK QUESTIONS, MATTHEW. JUST COMPLETE THE CHALLENGES.
Matt says OKAY. ALRIGHT. I SEE SOME DYE AND... OKAY. WELL, I'VE NEVER HAD TO DO A CRAFT THIS FAST BEFORE, BUT, UH, HERE WE GO. OKAY.
Laurel says BEGIN!
As a clock counts down from 30 seconds, Matt says T-SHIRT AND, UH, TAKE THESE...
He shakes a bottle of red paint and a bottle of blue paint.
He says PLAIN... I DON'T KNOW. HERE WE GO. (SINGING GIBBERISH) I'M MAKING A MESS. WHOOPS-Y! OKAY. ALRIGHT. AND... UH... (SINGING GIBBERISH) (SQUEAKING) AND... OH, I GOT TO WRITE THIS LOGO STILL! UH-OH. OKAY. UH, I'LL JUST USE THREE MARKERS AT THE SAME TIME.
(GRUNTING)
Laurel says THIRTY SECONDS IS ALMOST UP, MATTHEW.
Matt says OKAY.
(SINGING GIBBERISH)
Matt says OKAY. ALWAYS CLOSE YOUR MARKERS SO YOU DON'T LOSE THE LIDS. OKAY. CAN I REVEAL?
Laurel says REVEAL.
Matt says TADA!
He lifts up and shows a perfectly dyed t-shirt in tones of red and blue with a perfect TVOKids Show logo in the middle.
Laurel says WHAT?
Matt says PRETTY GOOD, RIGHT?
Laurel says OKAY, FINE. "OOH, LOOK AT ME HERE. I CAN TIE-DYE A SHIRT." ANYONE CAN DO IT. LET'S SEE IF YOU CAN PASS THE SECOND CHALLENGE.
(LAUGHING)
Laurel says YOU HAVE 20 SECONDS TO BUILD AN ENTIRE STATUE OF THE CN TOWER! IT'S NEVER BEEN DONE BEFORE. GO AHEAD AND BEGIN.
Matt says OKAY. UM, OKAY.
As a clock counts down from 20 seconds, he picks up the glue gun and says GLUE GUN. I GUESS THAT'S WHY THAT WAS UNDER MY CHAIR. AND I'LL JUST TAKE A...
He sings TAKE A POPSICLE STICK AND YOU GLUE IT TOGETHER JUST WHEN YOU'RE NERVOUS YOU GOT TO START SINGING OKAY. THIS IS ACTUALLY NOT... BUT I THINK...
Laurel says TIME'S ALMOST UP, MATTHEW.
(SINGING GIBBERISH)
Matt says THERE'S A FORK.
(SINGING GIBBERISH)
Matt says AND OKAY. UH... OH. OKAY. UH, I THINK I'M DONE. DO I REVEAL?
Laurel says REVEAL.
Matt shows a neat CN Tower model made of popsicle sticks and straws.
(MAYOR LAUREL GASPING)
Laurel says I DON'T BELIEVE IT. IT CAN'T BE. THERE... THERE MUST BE SOME SORT OF CHEATING OR... OR, UM, MAGIC OR MAGICIAN-Y STUFF GOING ON HERE. IT'S... IT'S NOT POSSIBLE. I... (GROWLING) ALRIGHT.
Matt says IT WOULD LOOK GOOD IN MY BACKGROUND.
Laurel says YOU WANT TO GET FUNNY BUSINESS WITH IT, MATT? WELL, HERE'S THE FINAL CHALLENGE, WHICH IS QUITE SIMPLY IMPOSSIBLE.
Matt says OKAY.
Laurel says YOU HAVE 10 SECONDS, 10 SECONDS, TO CREATE A BOUQUET OF FLOWERS OUT OF... MM, I DON'T KNOW... PIPE CLEANERS.
Matt says OH!
Laurel says GOOD LUCK, MATTHEW. YOU'RE GOING TO NEED IT.
Matt says OKAY. I CAN DO THIS. BREATHE. RELAX. YOU GOT THIS.
As a clock counts down from 10 seconds, he picks up a fistful of colourful pipe cleaners.
He says YOU TAKE... OKAY... SOME PIPE CLEANERS. AND YOU JUST, UH... TAKE THEM, AND YOU... OKAY. NO, NOT THAT ONE. OH, YEAH. THESE ONES, DEFINITELY.
Laurel says FIVE. FOUR. THREE. TWO. (LAUGHING) ONE. LET'S SEE YOUR FAILURE.
Matt smiles as he shows a bouquet of perfectly crafted pipe cleaner flowers.
Laurel says WHAT? HOW? I DON'T BELIEVE IT! YOU... YOU'VE REALLY DONE IT. I DON'T UNDERSTAND!
(LAUGHING)
Matt says THIS WAS FUN! PUT THEM RIGHT THERE.
Laurel says FINE, MATTHEW. YOU MAY HAVE COMPLETED ALL THESE CHALLENGES, WHICH IS QUITE A SURPRISE, BUT I GUESS THAT DOES MEAN YOU ARE SUITABLE FOR A TVOKIDS HOST.
Matt says REALLY? YOU THINK I'M SUITABLE?
Laurel says BUT THAT'S NOT THE END OF ME AND YOU! THAT'S RIGHT. I'LL BE BACK WITH BETTER CHALLENGES NEXT TIME. GOODBYE, MATTHEW.
Matt says OKAY. THEY WERE REALLY FUN CHALLENGES, SO THANKS. I LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING YOU AGAIN. BYE, LAUREL!
Laurel says I DO NOT. GOODBYE.
Monica and Laura reappear on screen.
Monica says LAURA, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THIS, BUT MATT PASSED EVERY SINGLE ROUND, AND HE MADE ALL OF THESE COOL, COMPLICATED CRAFTS THAT LAUREL THREW AT HIM. I THINK IT'S TIME. DO YOU THINK IT'S TIME?
Laura says WELL, IF THAT'S THE CASE, IT IS DEFINITELY TIME. OKAY. MATT, WE OFFICIALLY DUB YOU...
(FANFARE PLAYING)
Monica says THE NEW TVOKIDS HOST!
Matt says OH! AWESOME! THANK YOU SO MUCH! THIS IS SO EXCITING! THANK YOU!
Laura says OKAY. MATT, WHAT'S YOUR FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS?
Matt says WELL, UH... CHOCOLATE CAKE CHIHUAHUA DANCE PARTY?
A song plays that says YOU WANT TO GET TO KNOW ME?
Monica says YEAH!
Laura says YEAH! CHOCOLATE CAKE CHIHUAHUA DANCE PARTY!
Matt's song plays.
As Matt dances holding Henry and a slice of chocolate cake, Monica and Laura dance and smile.
The song says WELL, I WANT TO GET TO KNOW YOU, TOO. SO MUCH WE CAN DO KEEP IT REAL AND STAY TRUE WANT TO SHARE IT WITH YOU YEAH LONGBOARD BY THE LAKE EATING CHOCOLATE CAKE ALL THE SNACKS WE CAN MAKE...
Music plays as an animated slate shows a map unfolding. The name of the show reads "That TVOKids Show from home."
Laura and Monica appear on split screens. They each sit inside a different living room. Laura wears a green shirt and headband, and Monica wears a printed blue sweater.
Laura says HEY, TVOKIDS. YOU ARE HANGING OUT WITH LAURA AND MONICA FROM HOME, AND TODAY IS A VERY, VERY EXCITING DAY FOR THAT TVOKIDS SHOW, BECAUSE WE ARE LOOKING FOR A NEW TVOKIDS HOST! SO EXCITING. WILL THEY BE SILLY? WILL THEY BE FUNNY? WILL THEY BE A DEEP SEA DIVER? I REALLY DON'T KNOW. I MEAN, MONICA, WHERE DO WE EVEN START?
Monica says I GOT IT. WE NEED TO CALL SUSAN TALENT. SHE IS THE BEST IN THE BIZ AND REPRESENTS ALL THE HOSTS IN THE ENTIRE CITY.
Laura says OKAY. YES. HOW DID I NOT THINK OF SUSAN TALENT? SHE'S THE BEST OF THE BEST. OKAY. HOLD ON. I'M GOING TO GIVE HER A CALL. HOPEFULLY, SHE PICKS UP. HERE WE GO!
(DIALING) (RINGING)
Inside an office, Susan Talent points at an empty mug. She has curly brown hair and wears glasses, a gray blazer, white shirt, and a long beaded necklace.
Susan says FELICIA, HONEY, THIS CUP'S EMPTY, AND THAT'S A PROBLEM! I ALWAYS NEED A CHAI TEA LATTE IN HERE. OH.
She takes the call and says SUSAN TALENT'S TALENT AGENCY FOR THE VERY TALENTED. SUSAN SPEAKING. HOW CAN I HELP YOU?
Laura says HI! UM, SUSAN TALENT, UH, IT'S MONICA AND LAURA CALLING. WE'RE THE TVOKIDS HOSTS RIGHT NOW, AND WE'RE ACTUALLY LOOKING FOR A NEW TVOKIDS HOST. WE WERE HOPING YOU COULD HELP.
Susan says A TVOKIDS HOST? WELL, YOU CALLED THE RIGHT GAL. LET ME JUST GO THROUGH THE ROSTER, OKAY? THE ROSTER'S JUST THE LIST OF ALL THE TALENT. OKAY. SO, WHO DO WE HAVE HERE?
She picks up a laptop computer and types.
A cartoon of a happy cheetah giving a thumbs up pops up.
She says CHEETAH CHARLIE. CHEETAH CHARLIE. OH, THEY'RE AMAZING. YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE THEM. THEY'RE A TRAINED ACROBAT.
Laura says OH.
Susan says OH, THEY'RE ON THEIR HONEYMOON IN ACAPULCO. BUT THAT'S FINE. THAT'S FINE. WE GOT TONS OF OPTIONS. WE GOT TONS OF OPTIONS. ALRIGHT. OKAY. WHO WE GOT HERE?
A picture shows a pickled cucumber costume.
Susan says PAULETTE PICKLE! OH, PAULETTE PICKLE. THEY'RE A TRAINED THERAPEUTIC CLOWN. ALRIGHT. LET'S SEE.
(LAURA GASPING)
Susan says OH, THEY'RE ON SABBATICAL. THAT MEANS THEY'RE NOT AVAILABLE. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? THAT'S FINE. I KNOW. IT'S TRUE. BUT YOU KNOW, WE GOT TONS OF OPTIONS HERE. LET ME JUST... I GOT AT LEAST ONE MORE. COME ON. WHO WE GOT HERE? OH, WE GOT A NEW GUY! MATT, JUST MATT. ONE NAME. NO LAST NAME. JUST MATT.
A picture shows Matt, the person playing Susan Talent. He's in his twenties, clean-shaven, with chin-length curly brown hair.
Susan says ALRIGHT. OKAY. UH... OH, AND THEY'VE GOT AN AUDITION TAPE. YOU KNOW WHAT? I DON'T KNOW THIS GUY, BUT I'LL SEND YOU THE AUDITION TAPE. YOU TELL ME HOW IT GOES, AND, UH, IF YOU LIKE IT, WE'LL BOOK HIM. HOW'S THAT SOUND?
Monica says THAT'S AMAZING! THANK YOU SO MUCH!
Susan says OH, I LOVE IT! GOD. ANGELICA, CUP, EMPTY! ALRIGHT. THANKS, GUYS! I GOT TO GO! SEE YOU!
Laura says THANKS, SUSAN!
Monica says THANKS, SUSAN!
Laura says WOW.
Monica says LET'S CHECK OUT MATT'S AUDITION TAPE.
A clip plays in which Matt faces the screen and speaks.
He says HEY. MY NAME IS MATT, AND THIS IS MY AUDITION VIDEO TO BE THE NEXT TVOKIDS HOST. I AM 180 CENTIMETRES TALL. MY FAVOURITE COLOUR IS BLUE, AND I HAVE AN 11-YEAR-OLD CHIHUAHUA NAMED HENRY. NOW, I KNOW YOU'RE PROBABLY WONDERING, "WELL, MATT, WHAT ARE YOUR SKILLS? WHAT WILL MAKE YOU A GREAT TVOKIDS HOST?" WELL, THE ANSWER IS A LOT OF THINGS, LIKE, I AM A PROFESSIONAL UNDERWATER GYMNAST, AND I FARM SEAHORSES. AND I CAN RIDE TWO MOTORCYCLES AT THE SAME TIME.
(SIGHING)
Matt says OKAY. I'M SORRY. I CAN'T CONTINUE LIKE THIS. I... I MADE ALL THAT STUFF UP. BUT I PROMISE I ACTUALLY DO HAVE SOME REALLY COOL SKILLS I CAN SHOW YOU... RIGHT NOW... IN THIS TAPE. HERE WE GO. MY REAL SKILLS. CUE COOL TRANSITION... NOW.
As he jumps on a bed he says I'M AN EXCELLENT BED-JUMPER! AND I'M AN EXPERT CHIHUAHUA CUDDLER. COME, HENRY! THIS IS HOW YOU CALL A CHIHUAHUA. COME!
(CLUCKING TONGUE)
He wiggles his fingers and says IT'S CALLED THE WIGGLE FINGERS. WORKS EVERY TIME.
He cuddles an elderly chihuahua.
He says I LOVE TO SING. YEAH BUT SOMETIMES, I'M A LITTLE LOUD.
As he stands on his head he says I CAN STAND ON MY HEAD!
(LAUGHING)
He continues FOR A WHILE. UH... CAN I COME DOWN NOW? AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT ME IS THAT I BELIEVE IN TREATING EVERYONE WITH EMPATHY AND RESPECT. NOW, I'VE GOT HENRY'S HANDY TRAVEL BAG ON ME, AND WE'RE OFF TO EXPLORE THE CITY. COME ON, PUPPY.
He puts on a gray bag and places Henry the chihuahua inside it.
Eh says I HOPE THIS VIDEO HAS BEEN ENOUGH TO SHOW YOU THAT I THINK I'D MAKE AN AWESOME TVOKIDS HOST. WELL, HOPE TO SEE YOU SOON!
He waves and smiles.
A slate reads "Video made possible by Susan Talent's Very Talented Talent Agency Incorporated."
Monica says LAURA, WASN'T MATT'S VIDEO AMAZING?
Laura says YEAH. THERE WERE SO MANY COOL THINGS THAT HE COULD DO. IT WAS AWESOME.
Monica says YEAH. HE HAD THE CHIHUAHUA WIGGLE FINGERS, AND HE COULD STAND ON HIS HEAD. AND HE HAS AN AMAZING SINGING VOICE. I THINK HE'S AWESOME, BUT IT'S NOT JUST UP TO US. I THINK IT'S UP TO THE TVOKIDS AT HOME.
Laura says I THINK YOU'RE EXACTLY RIGHT, MONICA. HE'S DEFINITELY PASSED ROUND ONE, BUT ROUND TWO IS FOR SURE THE TVOKIDS. SO, WHY DON'T WE GIVE A TVOKID A CALL? WHAT DO YOU THINK?
Monica says THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.
Laura says OKAY. I KNOW JUST WHO I'M GOING TO CALL: JUANES! GIVE ME ONE SEC.
(DIALING) (RINGING)
Juanes sits inside a bedroom wearing headphones.
A caption reads "Juanes."
He says HELLO?
(PEOPLE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)
Laura says HI, JUANES!
Susan says HI.
Laura says OKAY.
Susan says HOW ARE YOU GUYS?
Laura says SO GOOD.
Monica says GOOD. HOW ARE YOU?
Susan says I'M GOOD.
Monica says JUANES, WE NEED YOUR HELP. SO, WE NEED HELP FINDING A NEW TVOKIDS HOST. SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK IS THE MOST IMPORTANT ABOUT BEING A TVOKIDS HOST?
Susan says WELL, DEFINITELY, YOU KNOW, THROW SOME HUMOUR INTO THE SHOW, DEFINITELY.
Laura says YES.
Monica says THAT'S AMAZING.
Laura says I LOVE THAT, JUANES. SOME HUMOUR. WE GOT TO BE FUNNY. WE GOT TO HAVE FUN. IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE THAT YOU THINK IS IMPORTANT?
Susan says MM... I THINK... I THINK ALWAYS KEEPING A SMILE ALWAYS HELPS, TOO.
Laura says LOVE THAT SO MUCH. OKAY. WELL, JUANES, LISTEN. WE ACTUALLY HAVE MATT, A CANDIDATE FOR OUR NEXT TVOKIDS HOST, WAITING IN THE WAITING ROOM. DO YOU WANT TO ASK HIM SOME QUESTIONS YOURSELF?
Susan says YEAH.
Monica says THAT'S AWESOME.
Laura says ALRIGHT. LET'S BRING IN MATT.
Monica says LET'S GO TO MATT.
(PEOPLE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)
Matt appears on screen.
Susan says HELLO.
Matt says HI! HI, JUANES!
Susan says HOW ARE YOU?
Matt says I'M REALLY GOOD. SO, I HEAR YOU HAVE TO ASK ME SOME QUESTIONS, AND THAT'S AN IMPORTANT PART OF THIS JOB INTERVIEW. IS THAT RIGHT?
Susan says YES.
Matt says OKAY.
Susan says THAT IS CORRECT.
Matt says HIT ME.
Susan says FIRST THINGS FIRST. HOW MANY TIMES CAN YOU SAY "SUPERCALIFRAGILISTIC- EXPIALIDOCIOUS." WITHOUT MESSING UP?
Matt says OKAY. LET'S TRY IT.
He takes a deep breath, then quickly pronounces SUPERCALIFRAGILISTIC-EXPIALIDOCIOUS. SUPERCALIFRAGILISTIC-EXPIALIDOCIOUS. SUPERCALIFRAGILISTIC-EXPIALIDOCIOUS. SUPERCALIFRAGILISTIC-EXPIALIDOCIOUS.
(GASPING)
He says THAT'S FOUR.
Susan says FOUR TIMES. THAT'S IMPRESSIVE.
Matt says THANK YOU.
Susan says OKAY. NOT INCLUDING THAT TVOKIDS SHOW, WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE TVOKIDS SHOW?
Matt says I THINK IT'S ODD SQUAD.
Susan says OH, THAT'S MY FAVOURITE, TOO.
(LAUGHING)
Susan says YEP. IT'S A CLASSIC. DO YOU HAVE ANY OTHER TALENTS?
Matt says OTHER TALENTS? UM... I MADE A MUSIC VIDEO.
Susan says MM. ALRIGHT. CAN YOU SHOW IT TO US?
Matt says SURE. UH, OKAY. I'VE NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE. WELL, TVOKIDS, THIS IS MY ORIGINAL MUSIC VIDEO, "WHAT I LIKE." CHECK IT OUT.
A clip plays.
Upbeat music plays.
Matt lies inside his bed with Henry and says YOU WANT TO GET TO KNOW ME?
As he gets up, he says WELL, I WANT TO GET TO KNOW YOU, TOO.
As he sings, he grabs his travel bag and a longboard, then skates around a park.
He sings SO MUCH WE CAN DO KEEP IT REAL AND STAY TRUE WANT TO SHARE IT WITH YOU YEAH LONGBOARD BY THE LAKE EATING CHOCOLATE CAKE ALL THE SNACKS WE CAN MAKE YEAH GO TO THE BEACH, CLIMB A TREE, PLAY OUTSIDE LOOK UP TO THE CLOUDS ROLLING BY ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT THAT'S WHAT I LIKE AND I REALLY LOVE THE COLOURS WHEN THE SUN GOES DOWN AND I ALWAYS FEEL MUCH BETTER WHEN HENRY'S AROUND...
As he sits on a beach he picks Henry up and cuddles him.
He says YEAH, GO TO THE BEACH, CLIMB A TREE, PLAY OUTSIDE LOOK UP TO THE CLOUDS ROLLING BY ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT THAT'S WHAT I LIKE!
Back in his bed, he falls asleep next to Henry.
The clip ends.
Monica says MATT, THAT WAS SUCH AN AMAZING MUSIC VIDEO. YOU ARE SO TALENTED, AND I LOVE CHOCOLATE CAKE, TOO! SO, SOMEBODY REALLY WANTS TO MEET YOU. IT IS ACTUALLY MAYOR LAUREL, THE MAYOR OF THE FOREST HERSELF, AND SHE'S INSISTING ON MEETING YOU BEFORE LAURA AND I CAN GIVE THE FINAL OKAY. HAVE YOU MET HER BEFORE?
Matt says NO, I'VE NEVER MET A MAYOR BEFORE. IT SOUNDS EXCITING. I'M REALLY EXCITED.
Monica says ALRIGHT. SO, IT IS VERY EXCITING. (LAUGHING) SO, I'M GOING TO GIVE HER A CALL RIGHT NOW. HOLD ON.
(DIALING) (RINGING)
Monica says OKAY. GOOD LUCK, MATT.
Matt says OKAY.
Monica says YOU'RE GOING TO KICK IT.
Matt says OH, ALRIGHT. (LAUGHING) BYE!
Monica says SEE YOU!
Laurel appears inside a purple space and says HELLO!
Matt says HI! I'VE NEVER MET A MAYOR BEFORE. IT'S REALLY AN HONOUR TO MEET YOU.
Laurel says OH, I'M SURE IT IS AN HONOUR. I'M A VERY HONOURABLE MAYOR AND PERSON. NOW, LISTEN HERE. MATT, IS IT?
Matt says YEAH.
Laurel says I HEAR YOU WANT TO BE THE NEXT TVOKIDS HOST.
(LAUGHING)
Matt says YEAH, I DO. YEAH.
Laurel says WELL, IF YOU WANT TO BE A TVOKIDS HOST, YOU'LL HAVE TO PASS A COUPLE CHALLENGES.
Matt says OKAY. SOUNDS KIND OF FUN. WHAT ARE THEY?
Laurel says WELL, THEY'RE A SERIES OF CHALLENGES THAT I DOUBT YOU'D PASS. (LAUGHING) BUT I GUESS WE'LL GO AHEAD WITH THEM ANYWAYS. THE FIRST: YOU HAVE 30 SECONDS TO TIE-DYE AN ENTIRE T-SHIRT AND WRITE THE THAT TVOKIDS SHOW LOGO ON IT. BUT LISTEN HERE. THERE'S SOME SUPPLIES UNDERNEATH YOUR CHAIR.
(LAUGHING)
Matt bends over, then picks up a hot glue gun and other crafting materials.
He says OH. THIS STUFF? WAIT. HOW DID YOU GET IN MY APARTMENT?
Laurel says DON'T ASK QUESTIONS, MATTHEW. JUST COMPLETE THE CHALLENGES.
Matt says OKAY. ALRIGHT. I SEE SOME DYE AND... OKAY. WELL, I'VE NEVER HAD TO DO A CRAFT THIS FAST BEFORE, BUT, UH, HERE WE GO. OKAY.
Laurel says BEGIN!
As a clock counts down from 30 seconds, Matt says T-SHIRT AND, UH, TAKE THESE...
He shakes a bottle of red paint and a bottle of blue paint.
He says PLAIN... I DON'T KNOW. HERE WE GO. (SINGING GIBBERISH) I'M MAKING A MESS. WHOOPS-Y! OKAY. ALRIGHT. AND... UH... (SINGING GIBBERISH) (SQUEAKING) AND... OH, I GOT TO WRITE THIS LOGO STILL! UH-OH. OKAY. UH, I'LL JUST USE THREE MARKERS AT THE SAME TIME.
(GRUNTING)
Laurel says THIRTY SECONDS IS ALMOST UP, MATTHEW.
Matt says OKAY.
(SINGING GIBBERISH)
Matt says OKAY. ALWAYS CLOSE YOUR MARKERS SO YOU DON'T LOSE THE LIDS. OKAY. CAN I REVEAL?
Laurel says REVEAL.
Matt says TADA!
He lifts up and shows a perfectly dyed t-shirt in tones of red and blue with a perfect TVOKids Show logo in the middle.
Laurel says WHAT?
Matt says PRETTY GOOD, RIGHT?
Laurel says OKAY, FINE. "OOH, LOOK AT ME HERE. I CAN TIE-DYE A SHIRT." ANYONE CAN DO IT. LET'S SEE IF YOU CAN PASS THE SECOND CHALLENGE.
(LAUGHING)
Laurel says YOU HAVE 20 SECONDS TO BUILD AN ENTIRE STATUE OF THE CN TOWER! IT'S NEVER BEEN DONE BEFORE. GO AHEAD AND BEGIN.
Matt says OKAY. UM, OKAY.
As a clock counts down from 20 seconds, he picks up the glue gun and says GLUE GUN. I GUESS THAT'S WHY THAT WAS UNDER MY CHAIR. AND I'LL JUST TAKE A...
He sings TAKE A POPSICLE STICK AND YOU GLUE IT TOGETHER JUST WHEN YOU'RE NERVOUS YOU GOT TO START SINGING OKAY. THIS IS ACTUALLY NOT... BUT I THINK...
Laurel says TIME'S ALMOST UP, MATTHEW.
(SINGING GIBBERISH)
Matt says THERE'S A FORK.
(SINGING GIBBERISH)
Matt says AND OKAY. UH... OH. OKAY. UH, I THINK I'M DONE. DO I REVEAL?
Laurel says REVEAL.
Matt shows a neat CN Tower model made of popsicle sticks and straws.
(MAYOR LAUREL GASPING)
Laurel says I DON'T BELIEVE IT. IT CAN'T BE. THERE... THERE MUST BE SOME SORT OF CHEATING OR... OR, UM, MAGIC OR MAGICIAN-Y STUFF GOING ON HERE. IT'S... IT'S NOT POSSIBLE. I... (GROWLING) ALRIGHT.
Matt says IT WOULD LOOK GOOD IN MY BACKGROUND.
Laurel says YOU WANT TO GET FUNNY BUSINESS WITH IT, MATT? WELL, HERE'S THE FINAL CHALLENGE, WHICH IS QUITE SIMPLY IMPOSSIBLE.
Matt says OKAY.
Laurel says YOU HAVE 10 SECONDS, 10 SECONDS, TO CREATE A BOUQUET OF FLOWERS OUT OF... MM, I DON'T KNOW... PIPE CLEANERS.
Matt says OH!
Laurel says GOOD LUCK, MATTHEW. YOU'RE GOING TO NEED IT.
Matt says OKAY. I CAN DO THIS. BREATHE. RELAX. YOU GOT THIS.
As a clock counts down from 10 seconds, he picks up a fistful of colourful pipe cleaners.
He says YOU TAKE... OKAY... SOME PIPE CLEANERS. AND YOU JUST, UH... TAKE THEM, AND YOU... OKAY. NO, NOT THAT ONE. OH, YEAH. THESE ONES, DEFINITELY.
Laurel says FIVE. FOUR. THREE. TWO. (LAUGHING) ONE. LET'S SEE YOUR FAILURE.
Matt smiles as he shows a bouquet of perfectly crafted pipe cleaner flowers.
Laurel says WHAT? HOW? I DON'T BELIEVE IT! YOU... YOU'VE REALLY DONE IT. I DON'T UNDERSTAND!
(LAUGHING)
Matt says THIS WAS FUN! PUT THEM RIGHT THERE.
Laurel says FINE, MATTHEW. YOU MAY HAVE COMPLETED ALL THESE CHALLENGES, WHICH IS QUITE A SURPRISE, BUT I GUESS THAT DOES MEAN YOU ARE SUITABLE FOR A TVOKIDS HOST.
Matt says REALLY? YOU THINK I'M SUITABLE?
Laurel says BUT THAT'S NOT THE END OF ME AND YOU! THAT'S RIGHT. I'LL BE BACK WITH BETTER CHALLENGES NEXT TIME. GOODBYE, MATTHEW.
Matt says OKAY. THEY WERE REALLY FUN CHALLENGES, SO THANKS. I LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING YOU AGAIN. BYE, LAUREL!
Laurel says I DO NOT. GOODBYE.
Monica and Laura reappear on screen.
Monica says LAURA, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THIS, BUT MATT PASSED EVERY SINGLE ROUND, AND HE MADE ALL OF THESE COOL, COMPLICATED CRAFTS THAT LAUREL THREW AT HIM. I THINK IT'S TIME. DO YOU THINK IT'S TIME?
Laura says WELL, IF THAT'S THE CASE, IT IS DEFINITELY TIME. OKAY. MATT, WE OFFICIALLY DUB YOU...
(FANFARE PLAYING)
Monica says THE NEW TVOKIDS HOST!
Matt says OH! AWESOME! THANK YOU SO MUCH! THIS IS SO EXCITING! THANK YOU!
Laura says OKAY. MATT, WHAT'S YOUR FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS?
Matt says WELL, UH... CHOCOLATE CAKE CHIHUAHUA DANCE PARTY?
A song plays that says YOU WANT TO GET TO KNOW ME?
Monica says YEAH!
Laura says YEAH! CHOCOLATE CAKE CHIHUAHUA DANCE PARTY!
Matt's song plays.
As Matt dances holding Henry and a slice of chocolate cake, Monica and Laura dance and smile.
The song says WELL, I WANT TO GET TO KNOW YOU, TOO. SO MUCH WE CAN DO KEEP IT REAL AND STAY TRUE WANT TO SHARE IT WITH YOU YEAH LONGBOARD BY THE LAKE EATING CHOCOLATE CAKE ALL THE SNACKS WE CAN MAKE...
Music plays as an animated slate shows a map unfolding. The name of the show reads "That TVOKids Show from home."
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