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Transcript: North Pole VS South Pole! | That TVOKids Show
Lucas is in his twenties, with short puffy brown hair and wears jeans and an orange T-shirt.
Laura is in her twenties, with above the shoulders straight brown hair with bangs and wears jeans and a purple T-shirt.
As a song plays, Lucas and Laura walk in the woods, cross a bridge, balance on a fallen tree trunk, cross a stream, run across the city and in a park full of geese. Fast clips show them next to Greg playing and having fun in the tree fort. Greg is in his twenties, with short black hair. He wears a blue sweater.
The song says PACK UP YOUR BAGS KISS YOUR TURTLE GOOD-BYE COME UP AND CLIMB WHERE WE CAN TOUCH THE SKY SO MUCH TO SEE SO MUCH TO DO IN OUR TREE FORT WE'VE GOT A SHOW FOR YOU THAT TVOkids SHOW THAT TVOkids SHOW THAT TVOkids SHOW THAT TVOkids SHOW.
[Geese Cackling]
Laura says PASSWORD, PLEASE.
Lucas whispers something in Laura's ear as a caption reads "Iceberg."
In animation, a dialogue bubble pops out of a map with the title of the show: "That TVO Kids Show."
The song continues LA, LA, LA, DO, DO, DO, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH THAT TVOKIDS SHOW! THAT TVOkids SHOW.
Lucas walks into the tree fort wearing a black jacket and a red sweater.
He says GOOD DAY TVOKIDS. LOVELY DAY TO SEE YOU. MY NAME IS LUCAS. I WILL BE HERE IN THE TREE FORT WITH YOU TODAY TO TALK ABOUT A SERIOUS ISSUE.
As he sets up two opposing lecterns, he says WE COULDN'T DECIDE IF WE LIKED THE NORTH PEL OR SOUTH POLE BETTER SO WE DECIDED WE WILL HAVE TREE FORT COURT TO DECIDE WHICH WE LIKE BETTER BUT NOW WE ARE IN DISAGREEMENT AND DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO SO NOW I HAVE ALL MY INFORMATION HERE AND I'M GOING TO PROVE THAT THE SOUTH POLE...
Greg walks into the tree fort wearing a black suit and carrying a briefcase in his hand.
(CLEARING THROAT)
Lucas says Good DAY GREG.
Greg says GOOD DAY LUCAS.
Lucas says GOOD TO SEE YOU.
Greg says VERY GOOD DAY... FOR THE NORTH POLE WHEN WE DECLARE VICTORY.
Lucas says THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK. BUT I THINK THE SOUTH POLE WILL BE VICTORIA SLICK TORE YOUR AT THE END OF THE DAY.
Greg says I'M SORRY, YOU ARE SO FAR SOUTH I CAN'T HEAR...
Lucas says THERE WILL BE LOTS OF THINGS ABOUT THE SOUTH POLE YOU NEVER HEARD BEFORE.
Greg says REALLY? WE WILL SEE ABOUT THAT. IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT I THINK, LUCAS. IT MATTERS WHAT OUR TVO JUDGE THINKS.
Lucas says THAT'S RIGHT. WE HAVE A TVO KID JUDGE HERE WITH US TODAY. LONDIWE, WE BOW TO YOU.
A girl appears in the sky and smiles.
A caption reads "Londiwe. Age 6."
Greg says JUDGE LONDIWE PRESIDING.
Lucas says THAT'S RIGHT. THE JUDGE OF THE TVO COURT. ARE YOU READY GORE THIS COURT TO PROGRESS.
Londiwe says YES.
Greg says LET ME ASK YOU RESPECTIVELY, WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE NORTH POLE.
Londiwe says THAT'S Y WHERE SANTA LIVES AND IT'S COLD AND YOU HAVE TO WHERE A THICK JACKET.
Greg says THAT'S RIGHT. THAT'S WHERE SANTA LIVES.
Lucas says GOOD POINT, LONDON. WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE SOUTH POLE.
Londiwe says THE flag HAS RED AND BLUE COLOURS.
Greg says SOMETHING I WANT TO SHOW YOU. JUST A LITTLE GIFT FROM MY. ISN'T IT CUTE.
He opens his briefcase revealing a cute stuffed polar bear.
As he shows a tiny stuffed penguin, Lucas says I WOULD LIKE TO SHOW YOU MINE. THIS LITTLE PENGUIN. LET ME BEGIN. I WOULD PRESENT MY CASE TODAY. NUMBER ONE, OKAY. SO PENGUINS, PRETTY CUTE, RIGHT.
Londiwe says YES.
Lucas says VERY CUTE. NOW PENGUINS ONLY SEEM TO LIVE IN THE SIXTH POLE. WHY DO YOU THINK THAT IS, LONDI WELL?
Londiwe says MAYBE BECAUSE IT'S A CERTAIN TEMPERATURE WHERE THEY NEED TO LIVE.
Lucas says THAT COULD BE TRUE. BUT IT ALSO COULD BE BECAUSE THE SOUTH POLE IS THE BEST PLACE EVER.
Greg says CONJECTURE, CONJECTURE, ON YOUR.
Lucas says MOVING ONTO MY NEXT PIECE. THE SOUTH POLE IS KNOWN TO BE THE COLDEST PLACE IN THE WORLD. IT IS -40 CELSIUS. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT?
Londiwe says I THINK IT IS PRETTY COLD TO LIVE THERE FOREVER.
Lucas says BUT IT IS COLDER THAN THE NORTH POLE. NUMBER THREE, LONDIWE, DO YOU LIKE SKATING?
Londiwe says I HAVEN'T TRIED IT YET. BUT I THINK I WOULD LIKE.
Lucas says OKAY. WHAT ABOUT SNOW COHENS, DO YOU LIKE SNOW COHENS?
Londiwe says I LOVE THEM.
Lucas says I DO TOO. WHAT ABOUT ICE IN YOUR WATER ON A WARM SUMMER DAY?
Londiwe says WELL, ICE ON... ICE IN SUMMER WOULD BE GREAT.
Lucas says ICE IN SUMMER WOULD BE GREAT. WELL I HAVE THE PERFECT PLACE FOR YOU. THE SOUTH POLE. 90 PER CENT OF THE WORLD'S ICE IS ON THE SOUTH POLE.
Greg says WELL, ON YOUR, MY FRIEND HERE HAS VERY MANY GOOD POINTS. BUT I HAVE ONE POINT I WANT TO SHOW YOU. JUST ONE AND ONE ONLY BECAUSE THAT'S ALL I NEED. ISN'T HE CUTE. ISN'T HE CUTE.
He holds up his stuffed polar bear.
Lucas says WE HAVE SOME ACTUAL FOOTAGE FROM THE NORTH AND SOUTH POLE. TAKE A LOOK AT OUR CUTE TIME OOT, THE FIRST CHALLENGER.
A voice says Challenger!
Greg says WHAT ARE THOSE THINGS, FISH WITH LEGS.
Lucas says LONDIWE, WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS?
Londiwe says THEY ARE OUT OF...
Lucas says HMMMM.
Greg says INTERESTING. DON'T YOU WORRY. WE HAVE SOMETHING EVEN BETTER COMING UP FOR YOU LONDIWE. CHECK OUT THIS CHALLENGER RIGHT NOW.
Lucas says THE SUSPENSE IS HIGH. OKAY.
A short video shows a polar bear cub playing in the snow.
Greg says ADORABLE. CUTE, MAGNIFICENT. LONDIWE, HOW DOES THIS MAKE YOU FEEL? HOW DOES IT MAKE YOU FEEL RIGHT NOW.
Londiwe says IT MAKES MY FEEL LIKE I'M WATCHING A POLAR BEAR!
Greg says I KNOW, AREN'T THEY THE BEST ANIMAL IN THE WORLD.
Lucas says SOME MIGHT SAY NO. I URGE YOU NOT TO MAKE A DECISION YET, OKAY.
Greg says WE HAVE LOSS MORE COMPELLING EVIDENCE TO GIVE YOU.
Lucas says AND WE HAVE ACTUALLY GOT SOME WITNESSES IN THE TREE FORT THAT ALSO HAVE SOME OPINIONS ABOUT THE NORTH AND SOUTH POLE.
Greg says JUDGE LONDIWE, PLEASE HEAR ME OUT FROM THE forest CHARACTERS...
Music plays as an animated slate shows different characters on the show.
Laura says HEAR ME OUT. NORTH OR SOUTH POLE?
Greg says I SAY NORTH POLE ALL THE WAY FORT FOLLOWING REASONS. IT IS THE ONE I'M CLOSEST TO. IT IS THE ONE THAT A COMPASS POINTS TO AND THAT'S WHERE SANTA IS. EVERYTHING IS HAPPENING AT THE NORTH POLE. WHY WOULDN'T YOU SAY NORTH POLE?
Unshirley says I THINK I WOULD PROBABLY SAY THE NORTH POLE BECAUSE I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED TO GO NORTH OF THE EQUATOR AND I HAVE NEVER BEEN.
Lucius says ACTUALLY WE ARE NORTH EVER THE EQUATOR.
Unshirley says WHERE AM I.
Lucius says CANADA.
Greg says HOW ABOUT YOU LUCIUS.
Lucius says IF I HAD TO CHOOSE I COULDN'T BECAUSE I WANT TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD AND I WANT BOTH POLES. I'LL START AT THE SOUTH POLE AND GO TO THE NORTH POLE AND EGG WOULD BE MINE.
Vampire Count Angela says I THINK I WOULD CHOOSE THE NORTH POLE BECAUSE IT GETS SO DARK FOR SO LONG. SO MUCH NIGHT TO GO OUT AND FIND THINGS TO EAT AS A VAMPIRE.
Weatherman Greg says NEITHER.
I PICK NEITHER.
THE WEATHER IS SO EXTREME THERE. THERE COULD BE POLAR BEARS. IS IT THE NORTH OR IS IT THE SOUTH. EITHER WAY SHE IS OUT THERE HUNTING IN THE NORTH AND I DON'T WANT TO GO EITHER.
Lucas says BUT THERE'S PENGUINS IN THE SOUTH POLE.
Weatherman Greg says THAT'S NOT SO BAD.
Angela says PENGUINS.
Weatherman Greg says I'M JUST SAYING.
Lucas says I'VE NEVER BORN TO ANT OAR TY KA SO IT WOULD BE COOL TO CHECK OUT A DIFFERENT CONTINENT COME TO THINK ABOUT IT.
Angela says I HAVE AN AUNT ARTICA.
Dance Dad says I'M GOING TO GO TO BOTH. I'M GOING TO SHIMMY TO THE NORTH, SWIM TO THE SOUTH AND JUMP TO THE NORTH.
Greg Grylls says YOU HAVE TO PICK ONE, I PICK THE NORTH POLE SO I CAN FINALLY ACHIEVE MY LIFE LONG DREAM OF RIDING A POLAR BEAR.
Laura says OKAY. WELL, WOW, RIDING A POLAR BEAR.
YOU ARE JUST ALL ABOUT...
Greg Grylls says ADVENTURE, DANGER.
An animated slate reads "This versus That."
Inside the tree fort, Lucas wears a penguin costume as Greg wears a polar bear costume.
Laura says IT'S TIME FOR THIS VERSUS THAT. IN THE FIRST CORNER THE KING OF THE NORTH POLE, THE WHITE CRUSADER OF THE ICE. THE SEAL HUNTER HIMSELF, IT'S THE POLAR BEAR! IN THE SECOND CORNER HE CAN FLIP, HE CAN SLIDE. HE CAN EVEN WADDLE. THE HEART OF THE SOUTH POLE, IT'S THE PENGUIN! LET THE GAMES BEGIN.
(BELL)
The polar bear says WOW, I HAVE NEVER SEEN A PENGUIN BEFORE. NICE TO EAT YOU, I MEAN MEET YOU.
The penguin says WHERE A DARK SWEATER. WE CAN SWIM DAYS AT A TIME. OH, YEAH. 800 POUNDS OF BIG WHITE FUR, EXCUSE ME MR. SEAL I'M GOING TO EAT YOU SIR THAT'S NOT NICE.
The polar bear says JUST A PENGUIN IT BE SEEN NO THANK YOU PLEASE RUDE SNOWS PENGUINS, WHATEVER YOU CAN'T EVEN FLY SO DON'T TRY POLAR BEARS FOREVER.
The penguin says JUST ME, ME, ME, ME NOT YOU YOU'RE JUST A PENGUIN WHOOP-DE-DO TRY CAMOUFLAGE, I CAN STILL SEE YOU IF YOU COME TO THE SOUTH I'LL BE SURE TO TELL YOU WHY WE ARE SURE TO SWIM AT TOP SPEED EVERYBODY WANTS TO BE PENGUIN WE LIKE TO HANG IN A PACK TO AVOID A SHARK ATTACK GIVE ME FISH, I ONLY EAT MEAT WATCH OUT FOR A PENGUIN WHEN IT'S TIME TO FEED PENGUINS REALLY ARE BETTER THAN YOU WHAT THAT'S RIGHT THE PENGUIN LASTS FOREVER JUST ME, ME, ME NOT YOU YOU'RE JUST A BEAR OH, LA-DI-DA THAT'S RIGHT!
The polar bear says OUCH!
The clip ends.
An animated slate reads "RANDOM KID JOKES."
Laura says YOU SEND 'EM, WE SAY 'EM.
Eight colourful doors appear.
A green door opens.
Lucas steps out wearing a polar bear costume and says HEY.
A wizard walks out and says YES.
Polar bear says WHAT DID ONE EYE SAY TO THE OTHER.
Wizard says I DON'T KNOW. WHAT DID ONE EYE SAY TO THE OTHER EYE.
Polar bear says BETWEEN YOU AND ME SOMETHING SMELLS!
A woman in a golden dress says I WAS SUPPOSED TO PLAY CARDS ON MY FRIEND'S BOAT LAST NIGHT BUT THEN WE COULDN'T.
A man dressed as a chicken says OH, THAT'S TOO BAD. WHAT HAPPENED.
The woman says SOMEONE WAS SITTING ON THE DECK.
Dressed as a corncob, Lucas says HAS ANY ONE HEARD THE MARGARINE JOKE.
A penguin says WE HAVEN'T. WHAT'S THE MARGARINE JOKE.
Corncob says I BUTTER NOT TELL YOU.
Sherlock Lucas says IF YOU TELL THEM THEY WILL JUST SPREAD IT AROUND.
The clip ends.
Back inside the tree fort, Greg cheers NORTH, NORTH, NORTH.
Lucas chants SOUTH POLE, SOUTH POLE, SOUTH POLE.
Lucas says LONDIWE, HOW DO YOU THINK THE TRIAL IS GOING.
Londiwe says IT'S GOING PRETTY GOOD.
Lucas says SUSPENSEFUL.
Greg says WE NEED TO KNOW MORE. WE NEED TO KNOW MORE, LONDIWE.
Lucas says A TRUE OR FAILS NORTH OR SOUTH POLE DIALOGUE. I'LL ASK QUESTIONS. ARE YOU READY FOR THE FIRST ONE, LONDIWE, GREG.
Greg says BRING IT ON.
Lucas says ALL RIGHT, EVERYONE. COURT HAS COMMENCED. WE ARE BEGINNING. WHEN YOU ARE STANDING ON THE NORTH POLE EVERY DIRECTION YOU POINT IS SOUTH. IS THIS TRUE OR IS IT FAILS.
Greg says YES, LONDIWE, I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY ABOUT THIS. MY TEAM HAS COME TO UNDERSTAND THAT WHEN YOU ARE IN THE FURTHEST NORTH PLACE EVER EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK IS SOUTH. KEEP THAT IN CONSIDERATION. REPEAT IT ONE MORE TIME.
Lucas says WHEN YOU ARE STANDING IN THE NORTH POLE EVERY DIRECTION YOU STAND IS NORTH OR SOUTH, TRUE OR FALSE, ON YOUR.
Londiwe says TRUE.
Greg says CORRECT. YOU ARE CORRECT. BEST JUDGE IN THE TREE FORT EVER.
Lucas says SECOND QUESTION. THE NEAREST LAND IS 75 KILOMETRES PER HOUR AWAY FROM THE NORTH POLE. IS THIS TRY OR IS THIS FALSE.
Greg says LUCAS, THE NEAREST LAND IS QUITE FAR AWAY.
Lucas says 75 KILOMETRES PER HOUR IS PRETTY FAR AWAY.
Lucas says LONDIWE, DO YOU THINK IT IS TRUE OR FALSE.
Londiwe says I THINK IT'S FALSE.
Lucas says YOU THINK IT'S FALSE, HUH H? YOU ARE CORRECT. THE NEAREST LANDS IS ACTUALLY 700 KILOMETRES AWAY. GOOD JOB, LONDIWE. NOW I KNOW HOW YOU GOT THE HONOUR OF BEING THE JUDGE. THE AURORA BOREALIS, NORTHERN LIGHTS, ARE VISIBLE ONLY FROM THE NORTH POLE.
Greg says YOU CAN'T TRICK US, LUCAS. I KNOW THERE ARE OTHER LIES AT THE OTHER END.
Lucas says YOU DO?
Greg says CALLED. AUSTRALIS BOREALIS.
Lucas says WHAT DO YOU THINK, LONDIWE, DO YOU THINK THEY ARE VISIBLE ONLY FROM THE NORTH POLE.
Londiwe says ONLY FROM THE NORTH POLE.
Lucas says ALL RIGHT. THIS IS ACTUALLY A TRICK QUESTION. YOU ARE CORRECT, BECAUSE THE ORILLIA RARE O RA BOREALIS IS WHAT WE CALL THE NORTHERN LIGHTS. BUT THERE ARE A DIFFERENT TYPE OF LIGHTS IN THE SOUTH POLE.
Greg says WHICH IS WHAT I SAID.
Lucas says I HATE TO ADMIT THAT BUT YOU ARE CORRECT. THE MOMENT HAS COME.
Greg says JUDGE, YOU HAVE GATHERED ALL OF THE EVIDENCE. YOU HAVE SEEN ALL THE THINGS. YOU FINALLY GET TO DECIDE WHO WINS. NORTH POLE OR SOUTH POLE? YOU MUST CHOOSE.
Londiwe says NORTH POLE.
Lucas says NORTH POLE.
Greg says SHE SAID THE NORTH POLE.
Lucas says THE NORTH POLE WINS. ALL RIGHT. YOUR HONOUR, I WILL BE SAD BUT I ACCEPT YOUR DECISION.
Greg says IT HAS BEEN GREAT. THANK YOU AGAIN SO MUCH.
Lucas says BYE, LONDIWE. THANKS FOR HANGING OUT WITH US.
Greg says THAT WAS A FUN DAY.
Lucas says TVOKIDS, TOMORROW WILL BE A REALLY FUN DAY. IS IT AN EXTRA SPECIAL DAY IN THE TREE FORT. WE HAVE THE MEANEST HOLIDAY LEGEND AND WE WILL TRY TO CHEER THEM UP. SO FAMOUS FOR... TRYING TO STEAL CHRISTMAS.
Greg says CAN YOU GUESS WHO IT IS? YOU HAVE TO TUNE IN TOMORROW TO FIND OUT FOR SURE.
Lucas says WE WILL SEE YOU THERE.
Greg says WE'LL SEE YOU THERE.
They both say BYE!
Music plays as a slate shows the end credits.
Laura is in her twenties, with above the shoulders straight brown hair with bangs and wears jeans and a purple T-shirt.
As a song plays, Lucas and Laura walk in the woods, cross a bridge, balance on a fallen tree trunk, cross a stream, run across the city and in a park full of geese. Fast clips show them next to Greg playing and having fun in the tree fort. Greg is in his twenties, with short black hair. He wears a blue sweater.
The song says PACK UP YOUR BAGS KISS YOUR TURTLE GOOD-BYE COME UP AND CLIMB WHERE WE CAN TOUCH THE SKY SO MUCH TO SEE SO MUCH TO DO IN OUR TREE FORT WE'VE GOT A SHOW FOR YOU THAT TVOkids SHOW THAT TVOkids SHOW THAT TVOkids SHOW THAT TVOkids SHOW.
[Geese Cackling]
Laura says PASSWORD, PLEASE.
Lucas whispers something in Laura's ear as a caption reads "Iceberg."
In animation, a dialogue bubble pops out of a map with the title of the show: "That TVO Kids Show."
The song continues LA, LA, LA, DO, DO, DO, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH THAT TVOKIDS SHOW! THAT TVOkids SHOW.
Lucas walks into the tree fort wearing a black jacket and a red sweater.
He says GOOD DAY TVOKIDS. LOVELY DAY TO SEE YOU. MY NAME IS LUCAS. I WILL BE HERE IN THE TREE FORT WITH YOU TODAY TO TALK ABOUT A SERIOUS ISSUE.
As he sets up two opposing lecterns, he says WE COULDN'T DECIDE IF WE LIKED THE NORTH PEL OR SOUTH POLE BETTER SO WE DECIDED WE WILL HAVE TREE FORT COURT TO DECIDE WHICH WE LIKE BETTER BUT NOW WE ARE IN DISAGREEMENT AND DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO SO NOW I HAVE ALL MY INFORMATION HERE AND I'M GOING TO PROVE THAT THE SOUTH POLE...
Greg walks into the tree fort wearing a black suit and carrying a briefcase in his hand.
(CLEARING THROAT)
Lucas says Good DAY GREG.
Greg says GOOD DAY LUCAS.
Lucas says GOOD TO SEE YOU.
Greg says VERY GOOD DAY... FOR THE NORTH POLE WHEN WE DECLARE VICTORY.
Lucas says THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK. BUT I THINK THE SOUTH POLE WILL BE VICTORIA SLICK TORE YOUR AT THE END OF THE DAY.
Greg says I'M SORRY, YOU ARE SO FAR SOUTH I CAN'T HEAR...
Lucas says THERE WILL BE LOTS OF THINGS ABOUT THE SOUTH POLE YOU NEVER HEARD BEFORE.
Greg says REALLY? WE WILL SEE ABOUT THAT. IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT I THINK, LUCAS. IT MATTERS WHAT OUR TVO JUDGE THINKS.
Lucas says THAT'S RIGHT. WE HAVE A TVO KID JUDGE HERE WITH US TODAY. LONDIWE, WE BOW TO YOU.
A girl appears in the sky and smiles.
A caption reads "Londiwe. Age 6."
Greg says JUDGE LONDIWE PRESIDING.
Lucas says THAT'S RIGHT. THE JUDGE OF THE TVO COURT. ARE YOU READY GORE THIS COURT TO PROGRESS.
Londiwe says YES.
Greg says LET ME ASK YOU RESPECTIVELY, WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE NORTH POLE.
Londiwe says THAT'S Y WHERE SANTA LIVES AND IT'S COLD AND YOU HAVE TO WHERE A THICK JACKET.
Greg says THAT'S RIGHT. THAT'S WHERE SANTA LIVES.
Lucas says GOOD POINT, LONDON. WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE SOUTH POLE.
Londiwe says THE flag HAS RED AND BLUE COLOURS.
Greg says SOMETHING I WANT TO SHOW YOU. JUST A LITTLE GIFT FROM MY. ISN'T IT CUTE.
He opens his briefcase revealing a cute stuffed polar bear.
As he shows a tiny stuffed penguin, Lucas says I WOULD LIKE TO SHOW YOU MINE. THIS LITTLE PENGUIN. LET ME BEGIN. I WOULD PRESENT MY CASE TODAY. NUMBER ONE, OKAY. SO PENGUINS, PRETTY CUTE, RIGHT.
Londiwe says YES.
Lucas says VERY CUTE. NOW PENGUINS ONLY SEEM TO LIVE IN THE SIXTH POLE. WHY DO YOU THINK THAT IS, LONDI WELL?
Londiwe says MAYBE BECAUSE IT'S A CERTAIN TEMPERATURE WHERE THEY NEED TO LIVE.
Lucas says THAT COULD BE TRUE. BUT IT ALSO COULD BE BECAUSE THE SOUTH POLE IS THE BEST PLACE EVER.
Greg says CONJECTURE, CONJECTURE, ON YOUR.
Lucas says MOVING ONTO MY NEXT PIECE. THE SOUTH POLE IS KNOWN TO BE THE COLDEST PLACE IN THE WORLD. IT IS -40 CELSIUS. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT?
Londiwe says I THINK IT IS PRETTY COLD TO LIVE THERE FOREVER.
Lucas says BUT IT IS COLDER THAN THE NORTH POLE. NUMBER THREE, LONDIWE, DO YOU LIKE SKATING?
Londiwe says I HAVEN'T TRIED IT YET. BUT I THINK I WOULD LIKE.
Lucas says OKAY. WHAT ABOUT SNOW COHENS, DO YOU LIKE SNOW COHENS?
Londiwe says I LOVE THEM.
Lucas says I DO TOO. WHAT ABOUT ICE IN YOUR WATER ON A WARM SUMMER DAY?
Londiwe says WELL, ICE ON... ICE IN SUMMER WOULD BE GREAT.
Lucas says ICE IN SUMMER WOULD BE GREAT. WELL I HAVE THE PERFECT PLACE FOR YOU. THE SOUTH POLE. 90 PER CENT OF THE WORLD'S ICE IS ON THE SOUTH POLE.
Greg says WELL, ON YOUR, MY FRIEND HERE HAS VERY MANY GOOD POINTS. BUT I HAVE ONE POINT I WANT TO SHOW YOU. JUST ONE AND ONE ONLY BECAUSE THAT'S ALL I NEED. ISN'T HE CUTE. ISN'T HE CUTE.
He holds up his stuffed polar bear.
Lucas says WE HAVE SOME ACTUAL FOOTAGE FROM THE NORTH AND SOUTH POLE. TAKE A LOOK AT OUR CUTE TIME OOT, THE FIRST CHALLENGER.
A voice says Challenger!
Greg says WHAT ARE THOSE THINGS, FISH WITH LEGS.
Lucas says LONDIWE, WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS?
Londiwe says THEY ARE OUT OF...
Lucas says HMMMM.
Greg says INTERESTING. DON'T YOU WORRY. WE HAVE SOMETHING EVEN BETTER COMING UP FOR YOU LONDIWE. CHECK OUT THIS CHALLENGER RIGHT NOW.
Lucas says THE SUSPENSE IS HIGH. OKAY.
A short video shows a polar bear cub playing in the snow.
Greg says ADORABLE. CUTE, MAGNIFICENT. LONDIWE, HOW DOES THIS MAKE YOU FEEL? HOW DOES IT MAKE YOU FEEL RIGHT NOW.
Londiwe says IT MAKES MY FEEL LIKE I'M WATCHING A POLAR BEAR!
Greg says I KNOW, AREN'T THEY THE BEST ANIMAL IN THE WORLD.
Lucas says SOME MIGHT SAY NO. I URGE YOU NOT TO MAKE A DECISION YET, OKAY.
Greg says WE HAVE LOSS MORE COMPELLING EVIDENCE TO GIVE YOU.
Lucas says AND WE HAVE ACTUALLY GOT SOME WITNESSES IN THE TREE FORT THAT ALSO HAVE SOME OPINIONS ABOUT THE NORTH AND SOUTH POLE.
Greg says JUDGE LONDIWE, PLEASE HEAR ME OUT FROM THE forest CHARACTERS...
Music plays as an animated slate shows different characters on the show.
Laura says HEAR ME OUT. NORTH OR SOUTH POLE?
Greg says I SAY NORTH POLE ALL THE WAY FORT FOLLOWING REASONS. IT IS THE ONE I'M CLOSEST TO. IT IS THE ONE THAT A COMPASS POINTS TO AND THAT'S WHERE SANTA IS. EVERYTHING IS HAPPENING AT THE NORTH POLE. WHY WOULDN'T YOU SAY NORTH POLE?
Unshirley says I THINK I WOULD PROBABLY SAY THE NORTH POLE BECAUSE I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED TO GO NORTH OF THE EQUATOR AND I HAVE NEVER BEEN.
Lucius says ACTUALLY WE ARE NORTH EVER THE EQUATOR.
Unshirley says WHERE AM I.
Lucius says CANADA.
Greg says HOW ABOUT YOU LUCIUS.
Lucius says IF I HAD TO CHOOSE I COULDN'T BECAUSE I WANT TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD AND I WANT BOTH POLES. I'LL START AT THE SOUTH POLE AND GO TO THE NORTH POLE AND EGG WOULD BE MINE.
Vampire Count Angela says I THINK I WOULD CHOOSE THE NORTH POLE BECAUSE IT GETS SO DARK FOR SO LONG. SO MUCH NIGHT TO GO OUT AND FIND THINGS TO EAT AS A VAMPIRE.
Weatherman Greg says NEITHER.
I PICK NEITHER.
THE WEATHER IS SO EXTREME THERE. THERE COULD BE POLAR BEARS. IS IT THE NORTH OR IS IT THE SOUTH. EITHER WAY SHE IS OUT THERE HUNTING IN THE NORTH AND I DON'T WANT TO GO EITHER.
Lucas says BUT THERE'S PENGUINS IN THE SOUTH POLE.
Weatherman Greg says THAT'S NOT SO BAD.
Angela says PENGUINS.
Weatherman Greg says I'M JUST SAYING.
Lucas says I'VE NEVER BORN TO ANT OAR TY KA SO IT WOULD BE COOL TO CHECK OUT A DIFFERENT CONTINENT COME TO THINK ABOUT IT.
Angela says I HAVE AN AUNT ARTICA.
Dance Dad says I'M GOING TO GO TO BOTH. I'M GOING TO SHIMMY TO THE NORTH, SWIM TO THE SOUTH AND JUMP TO THE NORTH.
Greg Grylls says YOU HAVE TO PICK ONE, I PICK THE NORTH POLE SO I CAN FINALLY ACHIEVE MY LIFE LONG DREAM OF RIDING A POLAR BEAR.
Laura says OKAY. WELL, WOW, RIDING A POLAR BEAR.
YOU ARE JUST ALL ABOUT...
Greg Grylls says ADVENTURE, DANGER.
An animated slate reads "This versus That."
Inside the tree fort, Lucas wears a penguin costume as Greg wears a polar bear costume.
Laura says IT'S TIME FOR THIS VERSUS THAT. IN THE FIRST CORNER THE KING OF THE NORTH POLE, THE WHITE CRUSADER OF THE ICE. THE SEAL HUNTER HIMSELF, IT'S THE POLAR BEAR! IN THE SECOND CORNER HE CAN FLIP, HE CAN SLIDE. HE CAN EVEN WADDLE. THE HEART OF THE SOUTH POLE, IT'S THE PENGUIN! LET THE GAMES BEGIN.
(BELL)
The polar bear says WOW, I HAVE NEVER SEEN A PENGUIN BEFORE. NICE TO EAT YOU, I MEAN MEET YOU.
The penguin says WHERE A DARK SWEATER. WE CAN SWIM DAYS AT A TIME. OH, YEAH. 800 POUNDS OF BIG WHITE FUR, EXCUSE ME MR. SEAL I'M GOING TO EAT YOU SIR THAT'S NOT NICE.
The polar bear says JUST A PENGUIN IT BE SEEN NO THANK YOU PLEASE RUDE SNOWS PENGUINS, WHATEVER YOU CAN'T EVEN FLY SO DON'T TRY POLAR BEARS FOREVER.
The penguin says JUST ME, ME, ME, ME NOT YOU YOU'RE JUST A PENGUIN WHOOP-DE-DO TRY CAMOUFLAGE, I CAN STILL SEE YOU IF YOU COME TO THE SOUTH I'LL BE SURE TO TELL YOU WHY WE ARE SURE TO SWIM AT TOP SPEED EVERYBODY WANTS TO BE PENGUIN WE LIKE TO HANG IN A PACK TO AVOID A SHARK ATTACK GIVE ME FISH, I ONLY EAT MEAT WATCH OUT FOR A PENGUIN WHEN IT'S TIME TO FEED PENGUINS REALLY ARE BETTER THAN YOU WHAT THAT'S RIGHT THE PENGUIN LASTS FOREVER JUST ME, ME, ME NOT YOU YOU'RE JUST A BEAR OH, LA-DI-DA THAT'S RIGHT!
The polar bear says OUCH!
The clip ends.
An animated slate reads "RANDOM KID JOKES."
Laura says YOU SEND 'EM, WE SAY 'EM.
Eight colourful doors appear.
A green door opens.
Lucas steps out wearing a polar bear costume and says HEY.
A wizard walks out and says YES.
Polar bear says WHAT DID ONE EYE SAY TO THE OTHER.
Wizard says I DON'T KNOW. WHAT DID ONE EYE SAY TO THE OTHER EYE.
Polar bear says BETWEEN YOU AND ME SOMETHING SMELLS!
A woman in a golden dress says I WAS SUPPOSED TO PLAY CARDS ON MY FRIEND'S BOAT LAST NIGHT BUT THEN WE COULDN'T.
A man dressed as a chicken says OH, THAT'S TOO BAD. WHAT HAPPENED.
The woman says SOMEONE WAS SITTING ON THE DECK.
Dressed as a corncob, Lucas says HAS ANY ONE HEARD THE MARGARINE JOKE.
A penguin says WE HAVEN'T. WHAT'S THE MARGARINE JOKE.
Corncob says I BUTTER NOT TELL YOU.
Sherlock Lucas says IF YOU TELL THEM THEY WILL JUST SPREAD IT AROUND.
The clip ends.
Back inside the tree fort, Greg cheers NORTH, NORTH, NORTH.
Lucas chants SOUTH POLE, SOUTH POLE, SOUTH POLE.
Lucas says LONDIWE, HOW DO YOU THINK THE TRIAL IS GOING.
Londiwe says IT'S GOING PRETTY GOOD.
Lucas says SUSPENSEFUL.
Greg says WE NEED TO KNOW MORE. WE NEED TO KNOW MORE, LONDIWE.
Lucas says A TRUE OR FAILS NORTH OR SOUTH POLE DIALOGUE. I'LL ASK QUESTIONS. ARE YOU READY FOR THE FIRST ONE, LONDIWE, GREG.
Greg says BRING IT ON.
Lucas says ALL RIGHT, EVERYONE. COURT HAS COMMENCED. WE ARE BEGINNING. WHEN YOU ARE STANDING ON THE NORTH POLE EVERY DIRECTION YOU POINT IS SOUTH. IS THIS TRUE OR IS IT FAILS.
Greg says YES, LONDIWE, I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY ABOUT THIS. MY TEAM HAS COME TO UNDERSTAND THAT WHEN YOU ARE IN THE FURTHEST NORTH PLACE EVER EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK IS SOUTH. KEEP THAT IN CONSIDERATION. REPEAT IT ONE MORE TIME.
Lucas says WHEN YOU ARE STANDING IN THE NORTH POLE EVERY DIRECTION YOU STAND IS NORTH OR SOUTH, TRUE OR FALSE, ON YOUR.
Londiwe says TRUE.
Greg says CORRECT. YOU ARE CORRECT. BEST JUDGE IN THE TREE FORT EVER.
Lucas says SECOND QUESTION. THE NEAREST LAND IS 75 KILOMETRES PER HOUR AWAY FROM THE NORTH POLE. IS THIS TRY OR IS THIS FALSE.
Greg says LUCAS, THE NEAREST LAND IS QUITE FAR AWAY.
Lucas says 75 KILOMETRES PER HOUR IS PRETTY FAR AWAY.
Lucas says LONDIWE, DO YOU THINK IT IS TRUE OR FALSE.
Londiwe says I THINK IT'S FALSE.
Lucas says YOU THINK IT'S FALSE, HUH H? YOU ARE CORRECT. THE NEAREST LANDS IS ACTUALLY 700 KILOMETRES AWAY. GOOD JOB, LONDIWE. NOW I KNOW HOW YOU GOT THE HONOUR OF BEING THE JUDGE. THE AURORA BOREALIS, NORTHERN LIGHTS, ARE VISIBLE ONLY FROM THE NORTH POLE.
Greg says YOU CAN'T TRICK US, LUCAS. I KNOW THERE ARE OTHER LIES AT THE OTHER END.
Lucas says YOU DO?
Greg says CALLED. AUSTRALIS BOREALIS.
Lucas says WHAT DO YOU THINK, LONDIWE, DO YOU THINK THEY ARE VISIBLE ONLY FROM THE NORTH POLE.
Londiwe says ONLY FROM THE NORTH POLE.
Lucas says ALL RIGHT. THIS IS ACTUALLY A TRICK QUESTION. YOU ARE CORRECT, BECAUSE THE ORILLIA RARE O RA BOREALIS IS WHAT WE CALL THE NORTHERN LIGHTS. BUT THERE ARE A DIFFERENT TYPE OF LIGHTS IN THE SOUTH POLE.
Greg says WHICH IS WHAT I SAID.
Lucas says I HATE TO ADMIT THAT BUT YOU ARE CORRECT. THE MOMENT HAS COME.
Greg says JUDGE, YOU HAVE GATHERED ALL OF THE EVIDENCE. YOU HAVE SEEN ALL THE THINGS. YOU FINALLY GET TO DECIDE WHO WINS. NORTH POLE OR SOUTH POLE? YOU MUST CHOOSE.
Londiwe says NORTH POLE.
Lucas says NORTH POLE.
Greg says SHE SAID THE NORTH POLE.
Lucas says THE NORTH POLE WINS. ALL RIGHT. YOUR HONOUR, I WILL BE SAD BUT I ACCEPT YOUR DECISION.
Greg says IT HAS BEEN GREAT. THANK YOU AGAIN SO MUCH.
Lucas says BYE, LONDIWE. THANKS FOR HANGING OUT WITH US.
Greg says THAT WAS A FUN DAY.
Lucas says TVOKIDS, TOMORROW WILL BE A REALLY FUN DAY. IS IT AN EXTRA SPECIAL DAY IN THE TREE FORT. WE HAVE THE MEANEST HOLIDAY LEGEND AND WE WILL TRY TO CHEER THEM UP. SO FAMOUS FOR... TRYING TO STEAL CHRISTMAS.
Greg says CAN YOU GUESS WHO IT IS? YOU HAVE TO TUNE IN TOMORROW TO FIND OUT FOR SURE.
Lucas says WE WILL SEE YOU THERE.
Greg says WE'LL SEE YOU THERE.
They both say BYE!
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