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Transcript: The Dress Like a Tree Manoeuvre
[School bell ringing, upbeat music plays, banging, laughing, slide whistle, whistle blaring]
A drawing features Midvale school posters taped to double doors. In live-action, Aoife throws the doors open. She stands in a school hallway lined with lockers on each side. Aoife has her long blonde hair in pigtails and wears a blue basketball jersey with the Midvale Vipers logo on the front. Text reads, “Phew.” In a drawing of a gymnasium filled with people on the bleachers, live-action Zara points at her watch while Nyla throws a basketball to Aoife. Zara has her long black hair in a ponytail, and Nyla’s brown hair is in two braids. Both wear their Vipers jerseys. Aoife catches the basketball and spins it on her finger. In an animation, a water balloon hits Aoife, and text reads, “Sploosh!” In the bleachers, Conor, who has short brown hair, holds a water balloon. Clanger sits beside him and points. He has short, dark brown hair. The head teacher, Mr. Holt, arrives and text reads, “Woah.” Mr. Holt has short blond hair and a moustache. Charlotte points a hair dryer at Aoife, and her pigtails fly up in the air. Charlotte wears her brown hair in a bun. Text reads, “Wooosh!” Aoife dribbles the ball and trips. Text reads, “Epic Fail.”
Singers sing, DOOT, DOOT, DOO, DOO, DOOT, DOOT, DOO, DOOT.
Title: “High Hoops.”
B.B.C. Created and written by Sinéad Fagan. Director: Ian Curtis.
[Fire alarm ringing, footsteps running, tense music plays]
In a dark hallway, Jim runs, wearing a nurse’s costume, including a wimple. He stops beneath an Exit sign and looks behind him.
Jim says, HURRY UP, EVERYONE! THIS WAY!
Charlotte says, AOIFE, QUICK!
Zara says, BEFORE THE SPRINKLERS GO OFF!
Aoife says, YES, I'M GOING AS FAST AS...
Three boys carry Aoife, who wears a tree costume with balloon leaves.
Aoife continues, THEY CAN.
Aoife tells us, OKAY, SO IT SHOULD BE OBVIOUS WHY I'M DRESSED AS A TREE AND BEING EVACUATED FROM THE SCHOOL. SO...
[Upbeat music plays]
At the school, Aoife, Charlotte, Zara, and Nyla walk down a hallway. Producer Dominique Molloy. In Association with A.P.C. Kids. Text reads, “Midvale Vipers versus the Dragons.” The Dragons team logo features two paws with long claws reaching over a red semicircle.
Aoife says, WE HAVE OUR FIRST BIG MATCH COMING UP AND WE'RE GOING TO TOTALLY TRASH THEM.
Nyla says, IT'S SLAY TIME, I'VE GOT A FEW KILLER MOVES.
Aoife says, CHILL.
[Buzzer blaring]
A red octagon sign appears by Nyla, and an X appears over her mouth. The sign reads, “Not listening.”
Aoife says, I GOT THIS.
Nyla says, WHAT?
Aoife says, IT'S FINE. I'M ON TACTICS, ZARA'S OUR ADMIN, CHAR'S OUR STYLE QUEEN.
Charlotte curtsies to Aoife.
Aoife says, AND JIM IS ON INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES.
Jim walks down a staircase and points at his head.
Jim says, DREAM IT…
[Jim clapping his hands]
Jim says, WISH IT, DO IT. VIPERS.
[Hands slapping]
With Robert Webb as Mr. Holt. Jim high-fives Aoife as he walks past.
Aoife says, I JUST NEED YOU TO DO YOUR USUAL JOB.
Nyla asks, WHICH IS?
Aoife says, INSTIL FEAR?
Nyla asks, SO I'M THE MINDLESS MUSCLE?
[Slide whistle, thumping, splattering]
Nyla shrinks and text reads, “Down put.” Aoife turns, and she and Zara walk away. Text reads, “Whatever.” Charlotte looks at Nyla, and a passing student bumps into Nyla’s shoulder.
[Nyla growling, sighing, student gasping, wolf whistling, giggling, indistinct chattering, upbeat music plays]
Nyla walks away. Clanger enters the hallway with Conor behind him. Conor has a dark tan and wears a neck scarf with his school uniform. Charlotte looks at Conor and walks closer. Conor notices her and hurries away.
Charlotte asks, SO, WHO IS... WAS THAT?
Clanger says, EXCHANGE STUDENT FROM SPAIN.
Charlotte asks, DOES HE HAVE A NAME? AND A GIRLFRIEND? AND A FLUFFY CAT?
Clanger replies, HIS NAME'S ALEJANDRO, WITH A J.
Charlotte says, ALI-JAN-DRO?
Clanger says, ALI-HAAAAN-DRO.
Charlotte says, ALI-HAN-GEL?
[Popping, slide whistle]
Clanger says, JUST CALL HIM ALEX.
[Footsteps running, Charlotte squealing]
Charlotte runs down the hallway, and Clanger smiles and nods.
[Charlotte squealing, footsteps running, Charlotte panting]
Charlotte runs to Zara, Nyla, and Aoife.
Charlotte says, SPANISH EXCHANGE STUDENT. HIS NAME IS ALEEEEE...HAAAA...ALEX?
[Boinging]
A stop sign appears behind Aoife.
Aoife says, STOP. FIT NEW BOYS ARE A NO. WE NEED TO FOCUS ON WINNING OUR FIRST MATCH, NOTHING ELSE.
[Background chattering]
Zara says, WHILE I AGREE, I WORRY YOU'RE SLIGHTLY OBSESSING OVER THIS.
Aoife says, UH, THAT'S SO NOT TRUE.
Aoife stares at Zara and imagines her head is a basketball.
Zara says, IT'S JUST SOMETHING YOU DO NOW, LIKE, WE'LL JUST HAVE TO GET USED TO IT, BUT YEAH. YOU NEED TO HAVE A BREAK, DON'T OBSESS OVER IT.
[Whirring]
Aoife has two basketballs for eyes. In an animation behind her head, a giant basketball rolls.
Zara asks, WHY ARE YOU SO OBSESSED ABOUT THESE THINGS? GRADES ARE IMPORTANT TOO.
[Chiming]
Zara holds a book titled, “Romeo and Juliet.”
Zara continues, MCDONALD'S GIVING US A TEST ON THIS SOON, AND YOU ARE WAY BEHIND.
Aoife says, MISS MCDONALD, SHE'S A TOTAL PUSHOVER. I'M JUST GOING TO WALTZ IN THERE AND BE LIKE, "HEY, YOU DON'T SCARE ME, MISS..."
In a classroom, Aoife sits at a desk and looks towards the back of the room.
Aoife continues, …TER HOLT.
[Flames whooshing]
Mr. Holt stands in the doorway. A drawing of devil horns, a moustache, and a goatee appears over his face. In an animation, flames rise around him.
Aoife tells us, UH-OH.
Zara asks, WHERE'S MISS MCDONALD?
Mr. Holt says, BROKEN TAILBONE.
[Background chattering]
Charlotte says, MISS MCDONALD HAS A TAIL? WEIRD.
[Briefcase banging]
Mr. Holt walks to the front of the room and puts his briefcase on a desk.
Mr. Holt says, I WILL BE TAKING OVER HER LESSONS.
Zara asks, BUT WHAT ABOUT THE SCHOOL PLAY? I'VE ALREADY BOUGHT TICKETS. IT'S ROMEO AND JULIET, A TRAGEDY.
Mr. Holt says, THE TRAGEDY IS THAT WHILE MISS MCDONALD IS ABSENT, I WILL HAVE TO VENTURE INTO OUR DUNGEON OF A THEATRE DOWNSTAIRS AND DIRECT THE PLAY MYSELF.
Aoife turns to Zara and rolls her eyes.
Aoife says, IF HE'S SO TIED UP WITH THE PLAY, MAYBE HE'LL STOP NABBING OUR GYM TIME FOR HIS PRECIOUS FOOTBALL TEAM.
[Thumping]
Zara taps Aoife’s arm. Aoife looks up and finds Mr. Holt standing beside her desk.
Aoife says, WHO, OF COURSE, ARE SUPER IMPORTANT.
Mr. Holt says, AOIFE, YOUR GRADES MUST BE EXCEPTIONAL IF YOU'VE GOT TIME TO WORRY ABOUT MY TEAM'S SCHEDULE.
[Rustling]
Mr. Holt opens a folder.
Mr. Holt says, OH, LOOK, THEY'RE NOT.
[Students laughing]
Mr. Holt says, BETTER SORT THAT QUICKLY OR THERE'LL BE DETENTIONS.
Aoife says, DETENTION. THERE'S NO S.
Mr. Holt says, IT'S PLURAL, WHICH MEANS MORE THAN ONE. #NOT A GOOD START.
[Whooshing, students giggling, Aoife sighing, thumping]
Mr. Holt draws a hashtag in the air with his finger. Text reads, “Not a good start.” Aoife puts her hands over her face.
[Upbeat music plays, ping pong ball tapping, thumping]
A purple and pink star appears and spins. The basketball team walks past two students playing ping pong. Aoife and Zara sit together on a chair. Nyla sits across from them with her arms crossed.
Aoife says, DETENTIONS PLURAL WILL SERIOUSLY LIMIT MY TRAINING TIME. I NEED TO BE HERE TO GET US THIS WIN.
Nyla says, I? IT'S NOT JUST ABOUT YOU.
Aoife says, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. IF I HAVE TO STUDY, THEN I CAN'T TRAIN. AND I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND ROMEO AND JULIET.
[Background chattering]
Nyla rolls her eyes and shakes her head.
Zara says, FEAR NOT, I SHALL EDUCATE THEE. NOW, LET'S START WITH A DISCUSSION ON THE MAJOR THEMES, LOVE AND HOW IT CAN MAKE YOU LITERALLY—
[Charlotte squealing, footsteps running]
Charlotte runs to the chairs and sits beside Nyla.
Charlotte asks, WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US THAT ALEX IS YOUR COUSIN? AND THAT HE'S LITERALLY THE HOTNESS?
Aoife says, HANG ON. YOU'RE TELLING ME ALEX IS MY SPANISH COUSIN?
Charlotte says, YES. AND CONOR HAS GONE TO SPAIN IN HIS PLACE.
Aoife tells us, CONOR'S GONE TO SPAIN?!
Zara says, OH, HE'S GONE AWAY?
Conor and Clanger enter the room.
Aoife says, OI.
[Footsteps running]
Aoife runs to Conor.
Zara says, AOIFE, YOU HAVE TO... STUDY.
[Spanish music plays]
Conor walks quickly down a hallway, and Aoife follows him.
Aoife says, OI!
[Footsteps running, librarian shushing]
Aoife chases Conor through the gymnasium and into the library.
[The music stops, footsteps running]
Conor runs back through the gymnasium.
[Spanish music plays, door squeaking, slamming, background chattering]
Aoife chases Conor. He stops at the end of an empty hallway and catches his breath. Aoife walks out of a room in front of him. He pulls off the scarf and messes up his bangs.
Conor says, AOIFE. HI. SORRY, I'M A BIT BUSY RIGHT NOW.
Aoife says, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE UP TO, CONOR. OR SHOULD I SAY ALEX?
Conor says, ALEX? WHO'S THAT?
Aoife says, THE SPANISH EXCHANGE STUDENT WHO YOU'RE PRETENDING TO BE.
Conor says, DON'T BE RIDICULOUS. WHAT WOULD MAKE YOU EVEN THINK THAT?
Aoife says, BECAUSE YOU'RE STILL WEARING MUM'S FAKE TAN. ALL OF IT.
Conor says, ONLY A BIT, IT'S A HEALTHY GLOW.
[Footsteps running]
Clanger arrives.
Clanger says, YOU KNOW YOUR COVER'S BLOWN.
Aoife says, COVER? WHAT? WHY?
Clanger says, SPANISH TEST COMING UP.
Aoife says, SO?
Conor asks, WHY MAKE A SPANISH PERSON TAKE A SPANISH TEST?
Aoife says, THAT IS LITERALLY...
Conor says, GENIUS.
Aoife says, THE DUMBEST PLAN EVER.
Clanger says, THIS IS ADVANCED LEVEL. IF IT WORKS, I'M USING IT FOR FRENCH.
[Conor sighing]
Conor puts on the scarf.
Conor says, JUST...KEEP IT A SECRET. PLEASE.
Aoife says, A, YOU BOTH KEEP ME OUT OF THIS STUPIDITY. AND B, FULL RIGHTS TO THE COMFY CHAIR UNTIL CHRISTMAS.
[Conor sighing, chiming, soft music plays]
In a daydream, a brown leather chair in a living room glows.
A person sings, MY LOVE. MY HOME, MY...
Clanger says, DO IT.
The daydream ends.
[Conor huffing]
Conor says, ALL RIGHT. DEAL.
Aoife says, THIS IS NEVER GOING TO WORK. I MEAN, WHO'S EVEN GOING TO FALL FOR IT?
Jim walks out of a room and gives Conor a thumbs-up.
Jim says, BUONGIORNO, MON AMIGO.
[Spanish guitar music plays]
Jessica smiles and approaches Conor and Clanger. She waves, and Clanger waves back. Conor looks at him.
[The music stops, background chattering]
Elsewhere, Charlotte, Zara, and Nyla walk in a hallway. Nyla has her arms crossed.
Zara asks, HOW DID SHE NOT NOTICE HER OWN BROTHER WENT TO SPAIN?
Nyla says, YEAH, SHE'S TOO BUSY ACTING LIKE SHE'S OUR ALL-AROUND SAVIOUR.
Charlotte says, I KNOW, AND SHE ALWAYS PAIRS RED WITH HOT PINK, BUT SHE JUST WANTS US TO WIN. THAT'S WHY SHE'S BEING SUCH A DRAMA QUEEN.
Zara says, YES, SHE IS A DRAMA QUEEN.
[Medieval guitar music plays]
Zara says, ANON. I KNOW HOW TO MAKE HER STUDY.
[Whistle blaring, medieval flute music plays, thumping]
Title: “High Hoops.”
A basketball bounces across the title and knocks down the letters.
Later, Zara leads Aoife, Charlotte, and Nyla to a stage set in the school auditorium.
Zara says, WELCOME TO THE VIPERS PRODUCTION OF...ROMEO AND JULIET.
Nyla asks, WHO ARE YOU EVEN TALKING TO? THERE'S NO ONE IN THE AUDIENCE.
Zara says, THE WORLD'S A STAGE, NYLA. SOMEONE'S ALWAYS WATCHING.
[Tense music plays]
Charlotte turns and peers suspiciously at the empty auditorium chairs.
Aoife asks, IS THERE A QUICK TRAILER I CAN WATCH? WE REALLY SHOULD BE PRACTICING FOR OUR FIRST WINNABLE GAME?
Zara replies, NO. TOTAL IMMERSION WILL HELP YOU UNDERSTAND THIS PLAY, AND LOVE THE THEATRE.
[Bell clanging]
Aoife fumbles with a bell, catches it, and puts it back on a table.
Zara says, BUT HANDS OFF THE SETS! OR HOLT WILL LITERALLY KILL US.
[Clapping]
Zara claps.
Zara says, REHEARSALS, PEOPLE.
[Whistle blaring, medieval flute music plays, thumping]
Title: “High Hoops.”
A basketball bounces across the title and knocks down the letters. Aoife stands on a table, holding the back of one hand against her forehead and the script in her other hand.
Aoife says, OH, ROMEO, ROMEO. COME WATCH US WINNETH OUR MATCH ON FRIDAY.
Nyla says, WAIT, I THOUGHT I BAGSIED JULIET.
Aoife says, OH WELL, I'M ON THE BALCONY NOW. YOU CAN DO THE NURSE BIT.
Nyla says, NEVER WAS SEEN SO BLACK A DAY AS THIS.
Zara says, WOW, EXCELLENT, NYLA.
Charlotte says, YOU SHOULD REALLY BE A NURSE WHEN YOU GROW UP.
Zara says, NOW, IN THIS SCENE, ROMEO IS HIDING UNDER JULIET'S BALCONY.
Aoife says, RIGHT, SO THAT'S NOT CREEPY AT ALL. SO, BLAH, BLAH, THEY CHAT FOR A BIT. AND THEN THEY GO PRACTICE THEIR FREE-THROWS READY FOR THEIR UPCOMING MATCH?
Zara says, THEY EXCHANGE THEIR VOWS OF LOVE AND HE WANTS TO MEET HER AGAIN.
[Whooshing, thumping, applause]
In an animation, a basketball falls into a hoop. On the stage, Nyla glances at Zara, who rolls her eyes and shakes her head.
Aoife says, DO YOU THINK JULIET HAD A HOOP IN HER GARDEN?
Zara says, LET'S RUN WITH IT, SHALL WE?
[Light music plays]
Aoife says, "WHAT SATISFACTION CAN'T THOU HAVE..." WITH THEIR FIRST WIN?
[Whooshing, buzzer blaring]
Text reads, “Vipers, 21 points.” Zara shakes her head.
Aoife says, "WHAT SATISFACTION CAN'T THOU HAVE TONIGHT?"
Charlotte says, "THE EXCHANGE OF THY LOVE'S FAITHFUL VOW FOR MINE."
Aoife says, EW, THAT'S SO CRINGEY. I'M GLAD NOBODY ELSE CAN SEE THIS.
Mr. Holt stands in the doorway with seven students.
Mr. Holt asks, WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!
Aoife replies, UH, DON'T WORRY, TOTAL IMMERSION. I NOW UNDERSTAND THE PLAY AND LOVETH THE THEATRE. OOOH!
[Thumping, rope rattling, crashing, students gasping]
Aoife steps onto a ladder and loses her balance. She yanks a rope, and the rope flies up towards the rafters. On the other end of the rope, a sandbag falls on a table and breaks it. Mr. Holt crosses his arms.
Aoife says, OOPS-ETH.
[Mr. Holt sighing, whooshing, upbeat music plays, students shouting, ball thumping, background chattering]
The Midvale school crest appears over aerial video footage of students outside the school. In the school yard, Conor watches Clanger kick a soccer ball and catch it. Jessica approaches, walking with a tall girl who has brown, braided hair.
Jessica says, HEY CLANGS, YOU HAVEN'T INTRODUCED ME TO YOUR FRIEND.
Jessica and the brown-haired girl play with the tips of their braids.
Conor says, I, UH, NO SPEAK MUCH OF THE ENGLISH.
Clanger says, YEAH, HE DON'T SPEAK ENGLISH GOOD.
[Soft Spanish guitar music plays]
Jessica asks, WHAT'S HIS RELATIONSHIP STATUS? INVOLVED? COMPLICATED? SINGLE AND SEARCHING?
Conor shakes his head.
Clanger says, UM, I'LL GET BACK TO YOU.
Jessica says, FOR INFO, I'M SINGLE. ADIOS.
Clanger watches Jessica walk away with a smile on his face.
Clanger asks, DID YOU HEAR ALL THOSE QUESTIONS SHE WAS ASKING ME?
Conor nods. Jessica turns. She points towards Conor and Clanger, then at herself, then at graffiti on a fence that reads, “Together.” Jessic mouths the words, “You, me, together,” and then paws the air with one hand.
[Whirring, whooshing, splatting]
On the fence, the word “Together” shakes. It lifts and splatters against Clanger, and red hearts float around his head.
Clanger says, I'M IN.
[Squeaking]
Conor furrows his eyebrows and looks at Clanger. Text reads, “Qué?”
[The music stops]
In his office, Mr. Holt stands behind his desk. Nyla, Charlotte, Zara, and Aoife face him.
Mr. Holt says, USING SCHOOL RESOURCES WITHOUT PERMISSION AND NEARLY DESTROYING THE THEATRE!
Aoife says, SIR, DON'T PUNISH THEM. THEY JUST DIDN'T WANT ME TO HAVE DETENTIONS, PLURAL, BEFORE THE MATCH.
Mr. Holt says, I WASN'T GOING TO PUNISH THEM, AOIFE. I LOVE ZARA'S INSIGHTS, AND NYLA'S NURSE WAS QUITE IMPRESSIVE.
Nyla says, THANK YOU, SIR. JUST SHOWS I DO HAVE A FEW STRINGS TO MY BOW.
Charlotte says, WOW, AND SHE PLAYS VIOLIN TOO.
[Violin bow squeaking on a string]
Mr. Holt says, WE ACTUALLY NEED SOMEONE TO PLAY THE NURSE. ONLY ONE ACTOR CAME FORWARD AND... THAT DIDN'T WORK OUT.
Zara asks, WHAT? WHO?
[Tape rewinding, medieval music plays]
In a flashback in the auditorium, Mr. Holt sits in one of the audience chairs. He glances at the stage and startles when he notices Jim.
Mr. Holt says, NEXT.
Jim says, HAPPY TO CONSIDER ANY ROLE.
[Footsteps thumping]
Jim walks off the stage, and the flashback ends.
In the present, Mr. Holt says, SO, NYLA, WHAT DO YOU SAY?
Aoife says, SIR, I THINK I CAN SPEAK FOR NYLA WHEN I SAY…
In a deep voice, Aoife says, "NO, I'M TOO BUSY TRAINING."
Aoife tells us, AND HE SAYS I CAN'T ACT.
[Aoife chuckling]
Nyla says, YEAH, I'LL DO IT.
Aoife says, WAIT, WHAT? WHAT ABOUT THE MATCH?
Nyla says, I WON'T BE PLAYING. ONCE AOIFE IS THERE, NOBODY ELSE MATTERS.
[Crowd ohing, Mr. Holt chuckling]
Text reads, “Awkward.” Zara and Charlotte look at each other.
Mr. Holt says, EXCELLENT. RIGHT, OUT.
Aoife says, WHAT?
[Door squeaking]
Nyla, Charlotte, and Zara leave the office.
Mr. Holt says, OOH, ALMOST FORGOT. AOIFE, IF YOU DON'T GET AT LEAST 8 OUT OF 10 ON FRIDAY'S TEST, YOU'RE NOT PLAYING EITHER.
[Whooshing, applause, thumping]
Beside Aoife’s head, text on a stage reads, “Panto.” A basketball bounces off the other side of her head.
Aoife tells us, SO NYLA IS CHOOSING THE LITTLE-KNOWN PANTO OVER BASKETBALL, AND I MIGHT BE FACING A BAN.
[Air hissing, thumping, footsteps thumping]
The basketball deflates. Aoife lifts her hands and then drops them against her side. She leaves the office.
Aoife says, THIS IS A MAJOR DISASTER.
[Upbeat music plays, whooshing]
The Midvale school crest spins. On a stair landing, Clanger and Conor watch Mr. Holt walk down a staircase.
Clanger says, OKAY, JUST ACT SPANISH-Y.
[Background chattering]
Conor says, HOLA, SENOR HOLT.
Mr. Holt says, TAKE THAT RIDICULOUS SCARF OFF AND GET IN FOR YOUR SPANISH TEST NOW, CONOR.
Conor says, UH, WHAT? I-I MEAN, QUE?
Mr. Holt says, AND, FOR THE RECORD, FAKE TAN SHOULD ALWAYS BE APPLIED SPARINGLY.
Clanger asks, DO YOU THINK HE BOUGHT IT?
[Background chattering, Spanish guitar music plays]
On the next floor, Jessica looks over a railing at Conor and Clanger.
Jessica says, SO...HEY. I'VE ARRANGED A LITTLE SOMETHING FOR OUR NEW ARRIVAL.
[Sweat dripping]
Jessic holds a small poster. In an animation, sweat drips down Conor’s face. Text reads, “Uh Oh.”
Clanger reads, "COME TO OUR AMIGOS OF ALEX INFORMATION CIRCLE?"
Jessica says, WE ALL WANT TO LEARN ABOUT HIM, HIS HOPES, HIS DREAMS. HIS LOVES.
Clanger watches Jessica with his mouth hanging open.
Clanger says, WE'LL BE THERE.
Conor asks, WHAT DID YOU SAY THAT FOR? I CAN'T GO THROUGH WITH THIS.
Clanger says, YES, YOU CAN, DON'T WORRY, IT'LL ONLY BE A FEW PEOPLE.
[Footsteps thumping, Spanish guitar music plays, students chattering]
Conor follows Clanger up the stairs to a room filled with mingling students. Jessica carries a tray of food to a group of girls.
Conor says, MORE THAN A FEW, THAT'S LOADS!
A banner over a flag of Spain reads, “Amigos of Alex.” Conor looks around, open-mouthed and blinking rapidly.
Jessica says, THERE HE IS!
[Applause]
Jessica brings the tray to Conor.
Jessica says, BIENVENIDO, ALEX.
Conor says, MM, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
Clanger says, THAT'S SPANISH FOR YEAH.
Conor says, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
[Background chattering]
Jim arrives, carrying a food tray.
Jim says, BON SOIR, MATEY. I'VE PREPARED SOME BRITISH TAPAS IN YOUR HONOUR. HERE, MY PERSONAL FAVOURITE IS A SMILEY-FACED POTATO.
Jim gives Conor a smiling fried potato.
Jessica says, WE ALSO HAVE ACTUAL TAPAS.
Jim says, OOH, AN ONION RING. DON'T MIND IF I DO.
[Munching, gagging]
Jim takes a battered ring off Jessica’s tray and chews. He spits it out onto the floor.
Jim says, THAT'S FISH!
[Jim coughing]
Jessica gives Jim a napkin, and he uses it to wipe his mouth.
Conor stammers, UH, I GO. ADIOS.
[Thumping]
Conor backs away, and Clanger puts his hand behind him and shoves him forward.
Jessica says, OH, YOU'RE PETRIFIED AND ADORABLE.
Speaking loudly and slowly, Jessica says, DON'T WORRY, I KNOW WHAT TO DO!
Jessica gives Jim her tray, and Clanger and Conor watch her walk away. In a school hallway, Aoife faces Zara and Charlotte.
Aoife says, YOU SHOULD KNOW BY NOW NOT TO MAKE NYLA ANGRY.
Aoife says, SHE'LL BE BACK ONCE SHE REALIZES SHE'S MADE A BIG MISTAKE.
Charlotte says, BUT UNLESS YOU PASS THE TEST WE WON'T HAVE YOU EITHER. SO SAY SORRY.
Nyla approaches behind Aoife.
Aoife tells us, OKAY, I APOLOGIZE, SHE COMES BACK, WE WIN THE MATCH.
[Background chattering, students’ footsteps pattering]
Aoife says, LOOK, I'M SORRY. OKAY?
Nyla says, SORRY FOR WHAT, EXACTLY?
Aoife says, YOU KNOW...STUFF.
Nyla says, YOU'RE JUST SAYING THAT SO I'LL COME BACK.
Aoife says, WELL, DUH. BUT HONESTLY—
Jessica says, SO, AOIFE, I HAVE VITAL INFO ON BEATING THE DRAGONS.
[Light music plays]
Aoife follows Jessica.
Aoife says, OOH, TELL ME.
Jessica says, FIRST, A FAVOUR. COME WITH ME.
Nyla says, OI, WE'RE NOT DONE HERE!
Aoife says, NYLA, MATCH INTEL, MORE IMPORTANT.
Aoife tells us, RIGHT, THAT'S NYLA HAPPY. NOW IT'S TIME TO REFOCUS ON THE MATCH.
[Needle scratching a record]
At the Amigos of Alex meeting, Jessica and Aoife stand in front of seated students.
Jessica says, AND SO, WE HAVE ALEX'S COUSIN WHO, RATHER STRANGELY, IS AOIFE.
[Scattered applause]
Jessica says, SO, I CAN'T BELIEVE ALEX IS YOUR COUSIN.
Aoife says, ME EITHER.
Jessica asks, HOW DID THAT HAPPEN? I MEAN...HE'S SO...
[Jessica giggling]
Jessica says, AND YOU'RE SO...
Aoife asks, WHAT?
Jessica says, WELL, PALE, FOR A START.
Aoife asks, WHAT ABOUT THE INTEL ON HOW TO BEAT THE DRAGONS?
Jessica replies, OH, JUST SCORE MORE BASKETS.
[Growling, flames whooshing, crunching]
In an animation, Aoife’s eyes turn red, and flames shoot out of her nose. Text reads, “Say what?” Nearby, Clanger chews with his mouth open.
Jessica says, AS YOU KNOW, ALEX…
[Spanish guitar music plays, thumping]
Jim sits in the row behind Conor, still holding his tapas tray. He pats Conor’s shoulder.
Jessica continues, A CLOSE FRIEND OF MINE IS STILL LEARNING ENGLISH. SO AOIFE IS GOING TO TELL US ALL ABOUT HIM.
Aoife says, SO, ALEX...IS FROM A LITTLE TOWN IN SPAIN CALLED...
Aoife tells us, COME ON, AOIFE, USE YOUR IMAGINATION.
Aoife says, IMAG-- IMAGIO. YEP, THAT'S IT.
[Thumping]
Jim pats Conor’s back.
Jessica says, WOW. SO YOU'RE FAMILIAR WITH ALL THINGS SPANISH?
Aoife says, SI. TAPAS. MESSY FLAMINGO DANCING.
Jessica says, YOU MEAN FLAMENCO?
Aoife says, YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I SAID.
Jessica asks, SO YOU KNOW IT? CAN YOU SHOW US?
Aoife says, UM... NOT TODAY.
Jessica says, IT IS QUITE TRICKY TO PULL OFF.
Aoife says, WELL, I CAN DO IT. JUST... NOT WITHOUT MY SPECIAL SPANISH DRESS.
Jim says, WAIT, I ACTUALLY THINK WE HAVE ONE OF THOSE IN THE COSTUME DEPARTMENT.
[Upbeat music plays, fan flapping]
Jessica points at Jim. Aoife’s eyes widen, and her mouth falls open. The purple and pink star appears and spins. Later, Aoife wears a red dress and her long blonde hair is braided. She fans herself with a black and red lacy fan and gestures for Jessica to wait.
Jessica says, WELL, THAT WAS INTERESTING. THE, UM...LIMBO SEGMENT WAS A SURPRISE.
[Students chattering]
Jessica walks away from Aoife. Aoife taps Conor’s shoulder.
Aoife says, RIGHT, I HAVE SOME DRAGONS TO GO SLAY. SO, AMIGO ALEX BETTER GET LOST.
Conor says, TELL THAT TO CLANGER.
Clanger says, ALL RIGHT, ANYONE WHO WANTS A SELFIE OF ALEX OVER HERE.
[Students clamouring]
Jim says, HEY! THE LINE STARTS BEHIND ME!
Behind Jim, students shove each other.
Aoife says, UNBELIEVABLE. WHAT A TOTAL AND UTTER…
On a staircase landing, Charlotte and Zara stare at Aoife.
Aoife says, CHEAT.
Zara says, SO, ALEX IS REALLY CONOR?
[Background chattering]
Aoife rolls her eyes and nods.
Charlotte says, THE NECK SCARF FOOLED EVERYONE. THAT'S THE POWER OF ACCESSORIZING.
Zara says, NAH. I KNEW ALL ALONG THERE WAS SOMETHING. I MEAN, HE HAD WAY TOO MUCH FAKE TAN ON HIS PANTS.
Charlotte nods and says, ROOKIE MISTAKE.
Aoife says, BUT IT WORKED, SO ERGO, IF IT WORKS FOR HIM IT'LL WORK FOR ME. ERGO IF I CHEAT ON MY TEST I'LL PASS. ERGO I'LL BE FREE TO PLAY THE MATCH.
[Spy music plays, background chattering]
Charlotte says, OKAY, BUT WHO'S ERGO? IS THAT YOUR OTHER COUSIN?
Aoife tells us, PRESENTING THE PLAN.
Aoife holds an open notebook with a drawing of the school ducts, a stick person dangling over a table and a peanut. Text reads, “The Plan. Exam papers, Peanut allergy, Zara, Mr. Holt distracted, Test passed.”
Aoife tells us, FIRSTLY, CHARLOTTE WILL CREEP THROUGH THE VENTS, THEN GET THE TEST PAPER, DELIVER IT TO ZARA WHO WILL HAVE FAKED A PEANUT ALLERGY.
Zara says, THIS IS ALL POINTLESS ANYWAY. UNTIL YOU SAY SORRY TO NYLA.
Aoife says, BUT I DID SAY SORRY. WAIT, WHERE IS SHE?
Charlotte says, REHEARSING FOR THE PLAY.
Aoife says, WHAT? SHE'LL HATE EVERY MINUTE. SCARE EVERYBODY THERE. THEN COME RUNNING BACK TO US.
[Whooshing]
The purple and pink star appears and spins. In the auditorium, Nyla sits on the stage with the other actors.
A red-haired boy says, I MEAN, YOU JUST EXUDE POWER ON STAGE.
[Others chattering in agreement]
Nyla smiles.
The red-haired boy says, YOU'RE MESMERIZING.
Mr. Holt says, WELCOME TO THE THEATRE.
Nyla says, IT'S MAGNIFICENT.
Mr. Holt says, BETTER THAN BASKETBALL.
Nyla says, ACTING IS FUN, BUT I STILL LOVE TO PLAY. EVEN IF AOIFE IS A PAIN, SHE DOES CARE.
Mr. Holt says, WELL, SHE OBVIOUSLY ISN'T MISSING YOU. OTHERWISE, SHE WOULD'VE COME UP WITH ONE OF HER RIDICULOUS SCHEMES TO SECRETLY WIN YOU BACK.
Mr. Holt runs to the table and then across the stage.
He says, I MEAN, SHE'S NOT OVER HERE. AND SHE'S NOT OVER HERE. NOR IS SHE BEHIND HERE.
[Curtains rustling, Mr. Holt gasping]
Mr. Holt opens a stage curtain, and Jim stands behind it.
Jim says, I KNOW ALL THE LINES. I'M READY.
[Upbeat music notes play]
In the hallway, Zara says, THIS IS EXACTLY WHY NYLA GOT HACKED OFF. YOU'RE NOT LISTENING. JUST APOLOGIZE.
Charlotte says, YEAH, A BIG PROPER SORRY.
[Footsteps pattering, background chattering]
Zara and Charlotte walk up the stairs.
Aoife says, BUT I WAS LISTENING. HOW ELSE WOULD I KNOW THAT NYLA'S IN A PLAY ABOUT... WAIT, WHAT WERE THOSE TWO WARRING BASKETBALL TEAMS?
[Whooshing, dinging]
A lightbulb appears above Aoife’s head.
Aoife narrates, MAYBE THEY'RE RIGHT. MAYBE I'M TOO OBSESSED TO LISTEN TO MY TEAMIES.
[Tape rewinding, upbeat music plays]
Aoife tells us, SO WE HAVE OUR FIRST WINNABLE MATCH COMING UP, AND I WAS LIKE, “NYLA, INSTIL FEAR." AND NYLA WAS LIKE...
Text beside Aoife reads, “Fear.”
[Growling]
In a flashback, Nyla rolls her eyes and walks away from the student who bumped into her.
In the present, Aoife tells us, AND SHE WAS ACTUALLY LIKE PRETTY SCARY. BUT I CAN DO OTHER THINGS LIKE BE IN A PLAY NOBODY CARES ABOUT.
[Whooshing, upbeat music continues]
In a flashback, Aoife acts on the table and pulls the rope that drops the sandbag. Another flashback shows Aoife wearing the red dress and fanning herself beside a shaking drawing of a flamingo.
In the present, Aoife tells us, AND I DID A FLAMINGO THING. AND HOLT WAS LIKE, "YOU'D BETTER..."
Text reads, “8 out of 10.”
In a flashback, Mr. Holt says, GET AT LEAST 8 OUT OF 10 ON FRIDAY'S TEST.
In the present, Aoife tells us, AND I WAS LIKE, "WHATEVER."
In a flashback, Aoife says, IF I CHEAT ON MY TEST I'LL PASS.
[Thumping]
Zara’s eyes and mouth appear on a bouncing basketball. Text reads, “Blah, blah, blah.”
Aoife narrates, BUT ZARA WAS LIKE, "BLAH, BLAH, BLAH," OR WHATEVER IT WAS.
[Crowd cheering, trophies clinking]
In a daydream, Aoife daydreams with trophies and basketballs falling into a pile behind her. In a flashback, Aoife walks away from Nyla.
In the present, Aoife tells us, AND THEN, IT DAWNED ON ME THAT I WASN'T ACTUALLY LISTENING TO HER OR NYLA. AND I DIDN'T ACTUALLY SAY SORRY. PROPERLY. BUT IS IT TOO LATE?
[Whistle blaring, thudding, cheering]
Title: “High Hoops.”
The letters in the title fall.
[Footsteps thumping, background chattering]
In the school library, Zara turns a corner and Conor stops in front of her.
Conor says, SCUSI.
Zara says, THAT'S ITALIAN, CONOR.
Conor says, RIGHT. YEAH. THANKS.
Zara says, THAT'S WAY TOO MUCH FAKE TAN.
Conor says, IT'S A HEALTHY GLOW.
Zara says, YOU LOOK LIKE AN ORANGE AND YOU'RE ACTING LIKE A LEMON.
Conor says, EVERYONE SEEMS TO PREFER ALEX.
Zara says, NOT EVERYONE. I MEAN, WHY ACT LIKE SOMEONE ELSE? YOU'RE NOT THAT BAD OF A PERSON YOURSELF.
[Upbeat guitar music plays, whirring]
Zara smiles at Conor and walks away. Polka dots move in front of Conor. Later, Clanger and Conor stand together in the cafeteria.
Clanger says, WHAT? YOU CAN'T DITCH ALEX.
Conor says, CONOR IS BACK.
[Slide whistle, background chattering]
Conor holds a jar of “Tan Unspritz. Fake Tan Remover. Upgrade your tanning routine.”
Clanger says, OH, NO, NOT HIM.
Conor says, WHY? HE'S NOT...I MEAN, I'M NOT THAT BAD, ACTUALLY.
Clanger says, HE'S BORING AND PREACHY. AND HE DOESN'T EVEN OWN A DECENT SCARF.
Conor says, LOOK, ALEX HAS TO GO BEFORE AOIFE BLABS TO ANYONE ELSE. AGREED?
[Footsteps thumping]
Jessica arrives and walks to Conor.
Jessica says, SO, WE GO WATCH VIPERS EMBARRASS THEMSELVES AT MATCH LATER?
Clanger says, WE'LL BE THERE.
Jessica says, GREAT. ADIOS.
Jessica smiles and waves to Conor.
Conor asks, WHAT DID WE LITERALLY JUST SAY?
Clanger says, YOU HEARD, SHE'S DYING TO MEET ME.
Conor says, NOT YOU. ALEX.
Clanger asks, WHY HIM?
Conor says, BECAUSE... LIKE ME, HE'S HANDSOME AND CHARMING?
Clanger says, NO. SHE ONLY INVITED HIM NOT TO BE RUDE. SHE KNOWS I'M MR. LOVER MAN.
Conor says, THEN YOU DON'T NEED ME THERE.
[Background banging, upbeat music plays]
Clanger says, I DO. HE'S LIKE A HANDY CONVERSATION STARTER. LIKE WHEN YOU GET A NEW FOOTBALL OR PUPPY.
Conor asks, SO I'M A PUPPY NOW?
Clanger says, YEAH. SO COME ALONG FOR A BIT, GET THINGS GOING, AND SCAMPER OFF.
Conor asks, WHY SHOULD I?
Clanger replies, BECAUSE IF YOU DON’T, I'LL TELL EVERYONE THAT WHEN YOU SAY HI TO HORSES, YOU DO IT IN A REALLY DEEP VOICE.
In a deep voice, Clanger says, "HI. MR. HORSEY."
Conor says, OH, FINE. BUT AFTER, ALEX IS GETTING ON A FLIGHT TO SPAIN.
Clanger says, COOL. BUT I AM SO GOING TO HIS VILLAGIO THIS SUMMER. ME AND HIM WILL HAVE A BLAST.
Conor squints at Clanger.
[Medieval flute music plays, whooshing]
The Midvale school crest spins over students as they walk through a doorway. In the auditorium, the students perform Romeo and Juliet for an audience. Romeo, played by the red-haired boy, stands beneath Juliet’s balcony as Nyla, as the nurse, watches.
On the stage, Romeo says, THUS FROM MY LIPS, BY THINE, MY SIN IS PURGED.
Juliet replies, THEN HAVE MY LIPS, THE SINS THAT THEY HAVE TOOK.
Romeo says, SIN FROM MY LIPS? O TRESPASS SWEETLY URGED. GIVE ME MY SIN AGAIN.
Juliet says, YOU KISS BY THE BOOK.
In the audience, Mr. Holt nods.
Aoife whispers, PSST, NYLA.
Nyla glances at Aoife, who wears the tree costume.
Aoife whispers, NYLA. NYLA.
Nyla asks, AOIFE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
Aoife replies, I HAVE TO TALK TO YOU.
Nyla asks, DO WHAT? I'M IN THE ZONE.
Nyla, as the nurse, says, MADAME, YOUR MOTHER CRAVES A WORD WITH YOU.
Aoife whispers, LOOK, I KNOW I DIDN'T LISTEN TO YOU, I WAS AN IDIOT.
Nyla says, ACCURATE.
Romeo asks, WHAT IS HER MOTHER?
Nyla whispers to Aoife, HANG ON.
Nyla, as the nurse, says, MARY, BACHELOR, HER MOTHER IS THE LADY OF THE HOUSE.
Aoife whispers, I WANT YOU TO COME BACK.
Nyla, as the nurse, says, AND A GOOD LADY. NOT SELFISH AND STUBBORN.
[Paper rustling]
In the audience, Mr. Holt consults his script.
Loudly, Aoife says, I'M SORRY, I WANT YOU TO COME BACK!
[Crowd gasping, murmuring]
Mr. Holt loudly whispers, AOIFE!
[Soft music plays]
Aoife says, EXCUSE ME, EVERYBODY, BUT NURSE HERE IS ACTUALLY A TOTAL BALLER AND HER TEAM NEEDS HER.
[Audience muttering, footsteps pattering]
Mr. Holt puts down his script and runs down the stairs to the stage.
Aoife says, NYLA, I KNOW YOU'VE PROBABLY MADE LIKE LOADS OF FRIENDS.
Nyla says, FIVE.
Juliet and Romeo smile.
Aoife says, BUT WE NEED YOU, AND NOT JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE SCARY.
Romeo says, ADD IN ELECTRIFYING.
Nyla says, TOO KIND.
The audience says, AWWW.
Aoife says, BUT BECAUSE YOU'RE AMAZING AND YOU HAVE GOOD...NO, GREAT IDEAS.
Mr. Holt whispers, AOIFE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
Juliet says, YOU CAN'T TAKE NYLA, SHE BELONGS TO THE THEATRE!
The crowd shouts, YEAH!
Nyla says, FRIENDS. COLLEAGUES. SOULMATES. AND THOSE WEIRD GUYS WHO WORK BACKSTAGE.
[People laughing]
Nyla continues, ALAS, THIS HAS BEEN MY FINAL PERFORMANCE.
The crowd shouts, NO!
Nyla says, LET'S GO, TEAMIE.
Mr. Holt says, WAIT, YOU CAN'T JUST LEAVE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PLAY.
Nyla says, IT'S OKAY, EVERYONE DIES IN THE END ANYWAY.
[Crowd murmuring, Mr. Holt sighing]
Nyla says, OOPS, SORRY! SPOILER ALERT.
Mr. Holt asks, BUT WHO'S GOING TO PLAY THE NURSE?
[Footsteps running, Jim panting]
Jim runs onto the stage wearing his nurse costume, wimple, and wristbands.
Mr. Holt says, GO ON THEN.
[Crowd laughing, Aoife grunting, thumping]
Jim walks across the stage. Aoife, wearing the tree costume, follows Nyla off the stand and down a staircase.
Aoife says, OH, CRISIS AVERTED.
[Clicking, fire alarm ringing, audience groaning]
Aoife turns, and one of the costume branches pushes the fire alarm button. On the stage, Mr. Holt looks at the ceiling and puts his hands on his temples.
Aoife says, OOPS.
[Footsteps running, fire alarm ringing, shouting, upbeat music plays]
Jim runs in the hallway, then stops beneath the exit sign and looks behind him.
Jim says, HURRY UP, EVERYONE, THIS WAY!
Students run past Jim.
Charlotte says, AOIFE, QUICK!
Zara says, BEFORE THE SPRINKLERS GO OFF!
The three students carry Aoife in her tree costume.
Aoife tells us, WHICH BRINGS US BACK HERE.
[Upbeat music plays, popping]
Title: “High Hoops.”
The first letter 'O' in 'hoops' inflates and pops.
[Fire alarm ringing, chattering, footsteps running]
On a staircase, Jim says, COME ON, GUYS, QUICK!
In the hallway at the top of the stairs, Aoife smiles and approaches Nyla, who backs away.
Nyla asks, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
Aoife replies, TRYING TO GIVE YOU A HUG.
Nyla says, YEAH? THAT'S ALL RIGHT. I DON'T HUG FAKE TREES, ONLY REAL ONES. MATCH ISN'T 'TIL TOMORROW ANYWAY. COULD'VE JUST WAITED UNTIL THE PLAY WAS OVER.
[Soft music plays]
Aoife says, I KNOW BUT WE WERE TOO WORRIED WE WERE GOING TO LOSE YOU TO THE THEATRE.
Charlotte says, YEAH, YOU'RE SO GOOD.
Nyla says, I KNOW, I'M GOOD AT EVERYTHING. BUT WE'RE A TEAM. WE'RE FAMILY.
Aoife says, AND I'M SORRY, I WAS SO FOCUSED ON MY OWN SELFISH GOALS, JUST LIKE CAPULET AND TYBALT CAUSING MISERY.
Zara says, WHOA, AOIFE, YOU JUST HAD IMPORTANT INSIGHT TO THE PLAY.
Aoife says, AND?
Zara says, AND MAYBE YOU DON'T HAVE TO CHEAT.
Charlotte says, YEAH, FINALLY STARTING TO GET IT.
Aoife smiles broadly.
[Whooshing, upbeat music plays]
As night turns into morning, the Midvale school crest spins over the town.
[Background chattering, paper rustling]
As students leave the classroom, Mr. Holt gives back their graded tests. He gives Aoife a paper with 8 out of 10.
[Dinging, crowd cheering, whooshing]
Aoife says, YES! THAT'S A SLAY! DOES THAT MEAN I GET TO PLAY IN THE MATCH?
Mr. Holt says, NO, YOU'RE STILL ON DETENTIONS PLURAL FOR THAT TREE STUNT, THE MASS EVACUATION, AND THE RATHER HUMILIATING REPRIMAND I HAD TO ENDURE FROM THE FIRE CHIEF AFTERWARDS.
Aoife says, NO, PLEASE. CAN'T I START THEM AFTER THE MATCH? I BESEECH THEE.
Mr. Holt crosses his arms.
Nyla says, COME ON, IF YOU LET HER PLAY I'LL COME BACK FOR THE PERFORMANCE TOMORROW.
Mr. Holt says, DEAL.
Zara says, HURRY, WE NEED TO GET TO THE MATCH.
Aoife says, PREPARE TO THE GYM WHERE WE SHALL WINNETH!
[Paper rustling, footsteps thumping]
Aoife, Zara, and Charlotte leave the room. Nyla lingers, looks at Mr. Holt, then follows her friends. Mr. Holt nods.
Mr. Holt says, THOSE THAT ARE FOOLS LET THEM USE THEIR TALENTS.
Mr. Holt looks at the empty classroom.
Mr. Holt says, AND NO ONE AROUND TO HEAR THAT.
[Dinging, Spanish music plays]
Later, Jessica walks down a staircase in the school as Clanger and Conor arrive, both wearing neck scarves.
Jessica says, OH, YOU'RE HERE TOO.
Clanger says, YEAH, HI. WE'RE HERE TO WATCH THE MATCH.
Jessica says, YOU KNOW, THERE'S AN ICE CREAM VAN OUTSIDE THE GYM. COULD YOU BE MY HERO AND RUN ON AHEAD AND GET US A SLUSHIE?
Clanger says, ON IT.
[Footsteps running]
Clanger runs towards the door.
Jessica says, HOLA, MI AMOR.
[Rustling]
Jessica unfolds a fan and fans herself.
Conor says, UH. CLANGER, HE BACK SOON?
Jessica says, NAH, THERE'S A MASSIVE QUEUE FOR SLUSHIES. WE'RE SOLO FOR A WHILE.
Jessica grabs Conor’s arm and pulls him down the hallway.
[Whooshing, upbeat music plays, cheering]
In the gymnasium, Aoife, Charlotte, Nyla, and Zara wear their basketball uniforms. Aoife and Nyla stand with their arms crossed, and Charlotte has her hands on her hips. On the other side of the gymnasium, the four Dragon players stand with their arms crossed.
Nyla says, CURTAINS UP. AND ACTION.
Clanger arrives carrying two slushies.
Clanger says, THE SLUSHIE MACHINE WAS BROKE BUT I NABBED SOME KIDS'. THERE'S JUST ENOUGH...FOR TWO.
On the bleachers, Conor leans away from Jessica as she leans towards him with her eyes shut and puckered lips.
Clanger says, OI, WHAT ARE YOU PLAYING AT, CONOR?
Jessica says, CONOR?!
Conor says, UH, SI?
[Whooshing, tense horror music plays]
Jessica pulls the scarf off Conor’s neck.
Jessica says, O-M-G. I HAVE SERIOUS VOMIT-AGE.
[Light music plays]
Clanger says, OI, THIS CUTS DEEP.
Conor says, WHAT? IT WAS ALL HER. I TOLD YOU SHE LIKED ALEX.
Jessica says, BECAUSE... BECAUSE HE KNEW HOW TO TREAT A GIRL.
[Footsteps thumping]
Jessica leaves, and Clanger follows her.
Clanger says, WAIT, BUT I GOT YOU THE BLUE FLAVOUR!
Nearby, a girl with long hair says, I MUCH PREFERRED ALEX ANYWAY.
A boy with curly hair says, YEAH, CONOR'S JUST... UGH.
Zara says, I'M GLAD YOU'RE BACK. I ALWAYS THOUGHT ALEX WAS A BIT UP HIMSELF.
Conor and Zara smile at each other.
[Basketball thumping, whooshing]
Later, a Dragons player scores and the scoreboard reads, “5 point 8, Vipers 15, Dragons 15.”
Zara says, TIME OUT!
[Whistle blaring]
A referee says, TIME OUT, VIPERS.
Aoife, Nyla, and Charlotte run to Zara. Jim joins them wearing his tracksuit and the wimple.
Jim says, RIGHT, FIVE SECONDS LEFT. I'M GIVING YOU AN INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE. IF YOU CAN BELIEVE IT, YOU CAN ACHIEVE IT. BUT RIGHT NOW WE NEED A STRATEGY.
[Thumping]
Aoife puts her hand over her heart.
Nyla says, I HAVE AN IDEA.
Aoife says, ME, TOO. IF WE—GO AHEAD.
[Tense music plays]
Nyla says, AOIFE, SET A BAR SCREEN ON ME, I CAN GET A TWO-POINTER.
Zara says, NYLA'S SHOTS BEEN ON ALL GAME.
Aoife says, LET'S DO IT.
[Hands slapping]
Jim and the team put their hands on top of each other.
Jim says, VIPERS ON THREE. ONE, TWO, THREE.
The team shouts, VIPERS!
[Dribbling, epic music plays]
In slow motion, Charlotte dribbles the ball and bounces it to a Dragon player. Lights shine around the Vipers players. The gymnasium and the people in it appear in black and white. When the light around a Viper player touches a Dragon player, they change from black-and-white to full colour. Charlotte dribbles the ball past the Dragon player and passes it to Aoife, who passes it to Nyla. Nyla sinks a basket. On the sidelines, Zara jumps excitedly, and Jim stands. The gymnasium returns to full colour.
[Excited shouting, cheering, buzzer blaring, laughing]
Nyla, Charlotte, and Aoife hug each other. Jim and Zara run to them, and everyone hugs and jumps excitedly. Aoife walks away from the group.
Aoife tells us, YES, WE'RE TOTALLY MILKING IT. IT'S OUR FIRST PROPER WIN!
Clanger runs into the gymnasium wearing a beret and a neck scarf.
Clanger says, BONJOUR.
[Needle scratching a record, cheerful music plays]
Clanger says, I AM JEAN-LUC. THE COUSIN OF LE CLANGER.
[Zara, Charlotte, Nyla, and Aoife laughing]
Aoife shakes her head.
[Upbeat music plays, thumping]
Singers sing, DOO, DOO, DOO, DOO, DOO, DOO, DOO, DOO.
In an animation, a basketball bounces off a net. The ball lands in the basket. A second ball bounces off the rim of the net. A basketball falls into the net.
End credits. Cast in order of appearance: Jim, Nigel Boyle. Aoife, Darci Hull. Nyla, Frankie-Jae Simmonds. Zara, Isha Kaur Athwal. Charlotte, Ella Bernstein. Clanger, Dylan Lakhanpaul. Conor, Arthur Kay. Jessica, Bea Ward. Special thanks Calderdale College. Executive Producer for B.B.C., Anita Burgess, Melissa Hardinge. Executive Producer, Rebecca Papworth. Logos: Can Can Productions Limited for B.B.C. Copyright Can Can Productions 2024. Filmed in West Yorkshire. Logo: A.P.C. Kids.
[School bell ringing, upbeat music plays, banging, laughing, slide whistle, whistle blaring]
A drawing features Midvale school posters taped to double doors. In live-action, Aoife throws the doors open. She stands in a school hallway lined with lockers on each side. Aoife has her long blonde hair in pigtails and wears a blue basketball jersey with the Midvale Vipers logo on the front. Text reads, “Phew.” In a drawing of a gymnasium filled with people on the bleachers, live-action Zara points at her watch while Nyla throws a basketball to Aoife. Zara has her long black hair in a ponytail, and Nyla’s brown hair is in two braids. Both wear their Vipers jerseys. Aoife catches the basketball and spins it on her finger. In an animation, a water balloon hits Aoife, and text reads, “Sploosh!” In the bleachers, Conor, who has short brown hair, holds a water balloon. Clanger sits beside him and points. He has short, dark brown hair. The head teacher, Mr. Holt, arrives and text reads, “Woah.” Mr. Holt has short blond hair and a moustache. Charlotte points a hair dryer at Aoife, and her pigtails fly up in the air. Charlotte wears her brown hair in a bun. Text reads, “Wooosh!” Aoife dribbles the ball and trips. Text reads, “Epic Fail.”
Singers sing, DOOT, DOOT, DOO, DOO, DOOT, DOOT, DOO, DOOT.
Title: “High Hoops.”
B.B.C. Created and written by Sinéad Fagan. Director: Ian Curtis.
[Fire alarm ringing, footsteps running, tense music plays]
In a dark hallway, Jim runs, wearing a nurse’s costume, including a wimple. He stops beneath an Exit sign and looks behind him.
Jim says, HURRY UP, EVERYONE! THIS WAY!
Charlotte says, AOIFE, QUICK!
Zara says, BEFORE THE SPRINKLERS GO OFF!
Aoife says, YES, I'M GOING AS FAST AS...
Three boys carry Aoife, who wears a tree costume with balloon leaves.
Aoife continues, THEY CAN.
Aoife tells us, OKAY, SO IT SHOULD BE OBVIOUS WHY I'M DRESSED AS A TREE AND BEING EVACUATED FROM THE SCHOOL. SO...
[Upbeat music plays]
At the school, Aoife, Charlotte, Zara, and Nyla walk down a hallway. Producer Dominique Molloy. In Association with A.P.C. Kids. Text reads, “Midvale Vipers versus the Dragons.” The Dragons team logo features two paws with long claws reaching over a red semicircle.
Aoife says, WE HAVE OUR FIRST BIG MATCH COMING UP AND WE'RE GOING TO TOTALLY TRASH THEM.
Nyla says, IT'S SLAY TIME, I'VE GOT A FEW KILLER MOVES.
Aoife says, CHILL.
[Buzzer blaring]
A red octagon sign appears by Nyla, and an X appears over her mouth. The sign reads, “Not listening.”
Aoife says, I GOT THIS.
Nyla says, WHAT?
Aoife says, IT'S FINE. I'M ON TACTICS, ZARA'S OUR ADMIN, CHAR'S OUR STYLE QUEEN.
Charlotte curtsies to Aoife.
Aoife says, AND JIM IS ON INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES.
Jim walks down a staircase and points at his head.
Jim says, DREAM IT…
[Jim clapping his hands]
Jim says, WISH IT, DO IT. VIPERS.
[Hands slapping]
With Robert Webb as Mr. Holt. Jim high-fives Aoife as he walks past.
Aoife says, I JUST NEED YOU TO DO YOUR USUAL JOB.
Nyla asks, WHICH IS?
Aoife says, INSTIL FEAR?
Nyla asks, SO I'M THE MINDLESS MUSCLE?
[Slide whistle, thumping, splattering]
Nyla shrinks and text reads, “Down put.” Aoife turns, and she and Zara walk away. Text reads, “Whatever.” Charlotte looks at Nyla, and a passing student bumps into Nyla’s shoulder.
[Nyla growling, sighing, student gasping, wolf whistling, giggling, indistinct chattering, upbeat music plays]
Nyla walks away. Clanger enters the hallway with Conor behind him. Conor has a dark tan and wears a neck scarf with his school uniform. Charlotte looks at Conor and walks closer. Conor notices her and hurries away.
Charlotte asks, SO, WHO IS... WAS THAT?
Clanger says, EXCHANGE STUDENT FROM SPAIN.
Charlotte asks, DOES HE HAVE A NAME? AND A GIRLFRIEND? AND A FLUFFY CAT?
Clanger replies, HIS NAME'S ALEJANDRO, WITH A J.
Charlotte says, ALI-JAN-DRO?
Clanger says, ALI-HAAAAN-DRO.
Charlotte says, ALI-HAN-GEL?
[Popping, slide whistle]
Clanger says, JUST CALL HIM ALEX.
[Footsteps running, Charlotte squealing]
Charlotte runs down the hallway, and Clanger smiles and nods.
[Charlotte squealing, footsteps running, Charlotte panting]
Charlotte runs to Zara, Nyla, and Aoife.
Charlotte says, SPANISH EXCHANGE STUDENT. HIS NAME IS ALEEEEE...HAAAA...ALEX?
[Boinging]
A stop sign appears behind Aoife.
Aoife says, STOP. FIT NEW BOYS ARE A NO. WE NEED TO FOCUS ON WINNING OUR FIRST MATCH, NOTHING ELSE.
[Background chattering]
Zara says, WHILE I AGREE, I WORRY YOU'RE SLIGHTLY OBSESSING OVER THIS.
Aoife says, UH, THAT'S SO NOT TRUE.
Aoife stares at Zara and imagines her head is a basketball.
Zara says, IT'S JUST SOMETHING YOU DO NOW, LIKE, WE'LL JUST HAVE TO GET USED TO IT, BUT YEAH. YOU NEED TO HAVE A BREAK, DON'T OBSESS OVER IT.
[Whirring]
Aoife has two basketballs for eyes. In an animation behind her head, a giant basketball rolls.
Zara asks, WHY ARE YOU SO OBSESSED ABOUT THESE THINGS? GRADES ARE IMPORTANT TOO.
[Chiming]
Zara holds a book titled, “Romeo and Juliet.”
Zara continues, MCDONALD'S GIVING US A TEST ON THIS SOON, AND YOU ARE WAY BEHIND.
Aoife says, MISS MCDONALD, SHE'S A TOTAL PUSHOVER. I'M JUST GOING TO WALTZ IN THERE AND BE LIKE, "HEY, YOU DON'T SCARE ME, MISS..."
In a classroom, Aoife sits at a desk and looks towards the back of the room.
Aoife continues, …TER HOLT.
[Flames whooshing]
Mr. Holt stands in the doorway. A drawing of devil horns, a moustache, and a goatee appears over his face. In an animation, flames rise around him.
Aoife tells us, UH-OH.
Zara asks, WHERE'S MISS MCDONALD?
Mr. Holt says, BROKEN TAILBONE.
[Background chattering]
Charlotte says, MISS MCDONALD HAS A TAIL? WEIRD.
[Briefcase banging]
Mr. Holt walks to the front of the room and puts his briefcase on a desk.
Mr. Holt says, I WILL BE TAKING OVER HER LESSONS.
Zara asks, BUT WHAT ABOUT THE SCHOOL PLAY? I'VE ALREADY BOUGHT TICKETS. IT'S ROMEO AND JULIET, A TRAGEDY.
Mr. Holt says, THE TRAGEDY IS THAT WHILE MISS MCDONALD IS ABSENT, I WILL HAVE TO VENTURE INTO OUR DUNGEON OF A THEATRE DOWNSTAIRS AND DIRECT THE PLAY MYSELF.
Aoife turns to Zara and rolls her eyes.
Aoife says, IF HE'S SO TIED UP WITH THE PLAY, MAYBE HE'LL STOP NABBING OUR GYM TIME FOR HIS PRECIOUS FOOTBALL TEAM.
[Thumping]
Zara taps Aoife’s arm. Aoife looks up and finds Mr. Holt standing beside her desk.
Aoife says, WHO, OF COURSE, ARE SUPER IMPORTANT.
Mr. Holt says, AOIFE, YOUR GRADES MUST BE EXCEPTIONAL IF YOU'VE GOT TIME TO WORRY ABOUT MY TEAM'S SCHEDULE.
[Rustling]
Mr. Holt opens a folder.
Mr. Holt says, OH, LOOK, THEY'RE NOT.
[Students laughing]
Mr. Holt says, BETTER SORT THAT QUICKLY OR THERE'LL BE DETENTIONS.
Aoife says, DETENTION. THERE'S NO S.
Mr. Holt says, IT'S PLURAL, WHICH MEANS MORE THAN ONE. #NOT A GOOD START.
[Whooshing, students giggling, Aoife sighing, thumping]
Mr. Holt draws a hashtag in the air with his finger. Text reads, “Not a good start.” Aoife puts her hands over her face.
[Upbeat music plays, ping pong ball tapping, thumping]
A purple and pink star appears and spins. The basketball team walks past two students playing ping pong. Aoife and Zara sit together on a chair. Nyla sits across from them with her arms crossed.
Aoife says, DETENTIONS PLURAL WILL SERIOUSLY LIMIT MY TRAINING TIME. I NEED TO BE HERE TO GET US THIS WIN.
Nyla says, I? IT'S NOT JUST ABOUT YOU.
Aoife says, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. IF I HAVE TO STUDY, THEN I CAN'T TRAIN. AND I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND ROMEO AND JULIET.
[Background chattering]
Nyla rolls her eyes and shakes her head.
Zara says, FEAR NOT, I SHALL EDUCATE THEE. NOW, LET'S START WITH A DISCUSSION ON THE MAJOR THEMES, LOVE AND HOW IT CAN MAKE YOU LITERALLY—
[Charlotte squealing, footsteps running]
Charlotte runs to the chairs and sits beside Nyla.
Charlotte asks, WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US THAT ALEX IS YOUR COUSIN? AND THAT HE'S LITERALLY THE HOTNESS?
Aoife says, HANG ON. YOU'RE TELLING ME ALEX IS MY SPANISH COUSIN?
Charlotte says, YES. AND CONOR HAS GONE TO SPAIN IN HIS PLACE.
Aoife tells us, CONOR'S GONE TO SPAIN?!
Zara says, OH, HE'S GONE AWAY?
Conor and Clanger enter the room.
Aoife says, OI.
[Footsteps running]
Aoife runs to Conor.
Zara says, AOIFE, YOU HAVE TO... STUDY.
[Spanish music plays]
Conor walks quickly down a hallway, and Aoife follows him.
Aoife says, OI!
[Footsteps running, librarian shushing]
Aoife chases Conor through the gymnasium and into the library.
[The music stops, footsteps running]
Conor runs back through the gymnasium.
[Spanish music plays, door squeaking, slamming, background chattering]
Aoife chases Conor. He stops at the end of an empty hallway and catches his breath. Aoife walks out of a room in front of him. He pulls off the scarf and messes up his bangs.
Conor says, AOIFE. HI. SORRY, I'M A BIT BUSY RIGHT NOW.
Aoife says, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE UP TO, CONOR. OR SHOULD I SAY ALEX?
Conor says, ALEX? WHO'S THAT?
Aoife says, THE SPANISH EXCHANGE STUDENT WHO YOU'RE PRETENDING TO BE.
Conor says, DON'T BE RIDICULOUS. WHAT WOULD MAKE YOU EVEN THINK THAT?
Aoife says, BECAUSE YOU'RE STILL WEARING MUM'S FAKE TAN. ALL OF IT.
Conor says, ONLY A BIT, IT'S A HEALTHY GLOW.
[Footsteps running]
Clanger arrives.
Clanger says, YOU KNOW YOUR COVER'S BLOWN.
Aoife says, COVER? WHAT? WHY?
Clanger says, SPANISH TEST COMING UP.
Aoife says, SO?
Conor asks, WHY MAKE A SPANISH PERSON TAKE A SPANISH TEST?
Aoife says, THAT IS LITERALLY...
Conor says, GENIUS.
Aoife says, THE DUMBEST PLAN EVER.
Clanger says, THIS IS ADVANCED LEVEL. IF IT WORKS, I'M USING IT FOR FRENCH.
[Conor sighing]
Conor puts on the scarf.
Conor says, JUST...KEEP IT A SECRET. PLEASE.
Aoife says, A, YOU BOTH KEEP ME OUT OF THIS STUPIDITY. AND B, FULL RIGHTS TO THE COMFY CHAIR UNTIL CHRISTMAS.
[Conor sighing, chiming, soft music plays]
In a daydream, a brown leather chair in a living room glows.
A person sings, MY LOVE. MY HOME, MY...
Clanger says, DO IT.
The daydream ends.
[Conor huffing]
Conor says, ALL RIGHT. DEAL.
Aoife says, THIS IS NEVER GOING TO WORK. I MEAN, WHO'S EVEN GOING TO FALL FOR IT?
Jim walks out of a room and gives Conor a thumbs-up.
Jim says, BUONGIORNO, MON AMIGO.
[Spanish guitar music plays]
Jessica smiles and approaches Conor and Clanger. She waves, and Clanger waves back. Conor looks at him.
[The music stops, background chattering]
Elsewhere, Charlotte, Zara, and Nyla walk in a hallway. Nyla has her arms crossed.
Zara asks, HOW DID SHE NOT NOTICE HER OWN BROTHER WENT TO SPAIN?
Nyla says, YEAH, SHE'S TOO BUSY ACTING LIKE SHE'S OUR ALL-AROUND SAVIOUR.
Charlotte says, I KNOW, AND SHE ALWAYS PAIRS RED WITH HOT PINK, BUT SHE JUST WANTS US TO WIN. THAT'S WHY SHE'S BEING SUCH A DRAMA QUEEN.
Zara says, YES, SHE IS A DRAMA QUEEN.
[Medieval guitar music plays]
Zara says, ANON. I KNOW HOW TO MAKE HER STUDY.
[Whistle blaring, medieval flute music plays, thumping]
Title: “High Hoops.”
A basketball bounces across the title and knocks down the letters.
Later, Zara leads Aoife, Charlotte, and Nyla to a stage set in the school auditorium.
Zara says, WELCOME TO THE VIPERS PRODUCTION OF...ROMEO AND JULIET.
Nyla asks, WHO ARE YOU EVEN TALKING TO? THERE'S NO ONE IN THE AUDIENCE.
Zara says, THE WORLD'S A STAGE, NYLA. SOMEONE'S ALWAYS WATCHING.
[Tense music plays]
Charlotte turns and peers suspiciously at the empty auditorium chairs.
Aoife asks, IS THERE A QUICK TRAILER I CAN WATCH? WE REALLY SHOULD BE PRACTICING FOR OUR FIRST WINNABLE GAME?
Zara replies, NO. TOTAL IMMERSION WILL HELP YOU UNDERSTAND THIS PLAY, AND LOVE THE THEATRE.
[Bell clanging]
Aoife fumbles with a bell, catches it, and puts it back on a table.
Zara says, BUT HANDS OFF THE SETS! OR HOLT WILL LITERALLY KILL US.
[Clapping]
Zara claps.
Zara says, REHEARSALS, PEOPLE.
[Whistle blaring, medieval flute music plays, thumping]
Title: “High Hoops.”
A basketball bounces across the title and knocks down the letters. Aoife stands on a table, holding the back of one hand against her forehead and the script in her other hand.
Aoife says, OH, ROMEO, ROMEO. COME WATCH US WINNETH OUR MATCH ON FRIDAY.
Nyla says, WAIT, I THOUGHT I BAGSIED JULIET.
Aoife says, OH WELL, I'M ON THE BALCONY NOW. YOU CAN DO THE NURSE BIT.
Nyla says, NEVER WAS SEEN SO BLACK A DAY AS THIS.
Zara says, WOW, EXCELLENT, NYLA.
Charlotte says, YOU SHOULD REALLY BE A NURSE WHEN YOU GROW UP.
Zara says, NOW, IN THIS SCENE, ROMEO IS HIDING UNDER JULIET'S BALCONY.
Aoife says, RIGHT, SO THAT'S NOT CREEPY AT ALL. SO, BLAH, BLAH, THEY CHAT FOR A BIT. AND THEN THEY GO PRACTICE THEIR FREE-THROWS READY FOR THEIR UPCOMING MATCH?
Zara says, THEY EXCHANGE THEIR VOWS OF LOVE AND HE WANTS TO MEET HER AGAIN.
[Whooshing, thumping, applause]
In an animation, a basketball falls into a hoop. On the stage, Nyla glances at Zara, who rolls her eyes and shakes her head.
Aoife says, DO YOU THINK JULIET HAD A HOOP IN HER GARDEN?
Zara says, LET'S RUN WITH IT, SHALL WE?
[Light music plays]
Aoife says, "WHAT SATISFACTION CAN'T THOU HAVE..." WITH THEIR FIRST WIN?
[Whooshing, buzzer blaring]
Text reads, “Vipers, 21 points.” Zara shakes her head.
Aoife says, "WHAT SATISFACTION CAN'T THOU HAVE TONIGHT?"
Charlotte says, "THE EXCHANGE OF THY LOVE'S FAITHFUL VOW FOR MINE."
Aoife says, EW, THAT'S SO CRINGEY. I'M GLAD NOBODY ELSE CAN SEE THIS.
Mr. Holt stands in the doorway with seven students.
Mr. Holt asks, WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!
Aoife replies, UH, DON'T WORRY, TOTAL IMMERSION. I NOW UNDERSTAND THE PLAY AND LOVETH THE THEATRE. OOOH!
[Thumping, rope rattling, crashing, students gasping]
Aoife steps onto a ladder and loses her balance. She yanks a rope, and the rope flies up towards the rafters. On the other end of the rope, a sandbag falls on a table and breaks it. Mr. Holt crosses his arms.
Aoife says, OOPS-ETH.
[Mr. Holt sighing, whooshing, upbeat music plays, students shouting, ball thumping, background chattering]
The Midvale school crest appears over aerial video footage of students outside the school. In the school yard, Conor watches Clanger kick a soccer ball and catch it. Jessica approaches, walking with a tall girl who has brown, braided hair.
Jessica says, HEY CLANGS, YOU HAVEN'T INTRODUCED ME TO YOUR FRIEND.
Jessica and the brown-haired girl play with the tips of their braids.
Conor says, I, UH, NO SPEAK MUCH OF THE ENGLISH.
Clanger says, YEAH, HE DON'T SPEAK ENGLISH GOOD.
[Soft Spanish guitar music plays]
Jessica asks, WHAT'S HIS RELATIONSHIP STATUS? INVOLVED? COMPLICATED? SINGLE AND SEARCHING?
Conor shakes his head.
Clanger says, UM, I'LL GET BACK TO YOU.
Jessica says, FOR INFO, I'M SINGLE. ADIOS.
Clanger watches Jessica walk away with a smile on his face.
Clanger asks, DID YOU HEAR ALL THOSE QUESTIONS SHE WAS ASKING ME?
Conor nods. Jessica turns. She points towards Conor and Clanger, then at herself, then at graffiti on a fence that reads, “Together.” Jessic mouths the words, “You, me, together,” and then paws the air with one hand.
[Whirring, whooshing, splatting]
On the fence, the word “Together” shakes. It lifts and splatters against Clanger, and red hearts float around his head.
Clanger says, I'M IN.
[Squeaking]
Conor furrows his eyebrows and looks at Clanger. Text reads, “Qué?”
[The music stops]
In his office, Mr. Holt stands behind his desk. Nyla, Charlotte, Zara, and Aoife face him.
Mr. Holt says, USING SCHOOL RESOURCES WITHOUT PERMISSION AND NEARLY DESTROYING THE THEATRE!
Aoife says, SIR, DON'T PUNISH THEM. THEY JUST DIDN'T WANT ME TO HAVE DETENTIONS, PLURAL, BEFORE THE MATCH.
Mr. Holt says, I WASN'T GOING TO PUNISH THEM, AOIFE. I LOVE ZARA'S INSIGHTS, AND NYLA'S NURSE WAS QUITE IMPRESSIVE.
Nyla says, THANK YOU, SIR. JUST SHOWS I DO HAVE A FEW STRINGS TO MY BOW.
Charlotte says, WOW, AND SHE PLAYS VIOLIN TOO.
[Violin bow squeaking on a string]
Mr. Holt says, WE ACTUALLY NEED SOMEONE TO PLAY THE NURSE. ONLY ONE ACTOR CAME FORWARD AND... THAT DIDN'T WORK OUT.
Zara asks, WHAT? WHO?
[Tape rewinding, medieval music plays]
In a flashback in the auditorium, Mr. Holt sits in one of the audience chairs. He glances at the stage and startles when he notices Jim.
Mr. Holt says, NEXT.
Jim says, HAPPY TO CONSIDER ANY ROLE.
[Footsteps thumping]
Jim walks off the stage, and the flashback ends.
In the present, Mr. Holt says, SO, NYLA, WHAT DO YOU SAY?
Aoife says, SIR, I THINK I CAN SPEAK FOR NYLA WHEN I SAY…
In a deep voice, Aoife says, "NO, I'M TOO BUSY TRAINING."
Aoife tells us, AND HE SAYS I CAN'T ACT.
[Aoife chuckling]
Nyla says, YEAH, I'LL DO IT.
Aoife says, WAIT, WHAT? WHAT ABOUT THE MATCH?
Nyla says, I WON'T BE PLAYING. ONCE AOIFE IS THERE, NOBODY ELSE MATTERS.
[Crowd ohing, Mr. Holt chuckling]
Text reads, “Awkward.” Zara and Charlotte look at each other.
Mr. Holt says, EXCELLENT. RIGHT, OUT.
Aoife says, WHAT?
[Door squeaking]
Nyla, Charlotte, and Zara leave the office.
Mr. Holt says, OOH, ALMOST FORGOT. AOIFE, IF YOU DON'T GET AT LEAST 8 OUT OF 10 ON FRIDAY'S TEST, YOU'RE NOT PLAYING EITHER.
[Whooshing, applause, thumping]
Beside Aoife’s head, text on a stage reads, “Panto.” A basketball bounces off the other side of her head.
Aoife tells us, SO NYLA IS CHOOSING THE LITTLE-KNOWN PANTO OVER BASKETBALL, AND I MIGHT BE FACING A BAN.
[Air hissing, thumping, footsteps thumping]
The basketball deflates. Aoife lifts her hands and then drops them against her side. She leaves the office.
Aoife says, THIS IS A MAJOR DISASTER.
[Upbeat music plays, whooshing]
The Midvale school crest spins. On a stair landing, Clanger and Conor watch Mr. Holt walk down a staircase.
Clanger says, OKAY, JUST ACT SPANISH-Y.
[Background chattering]
Conor says, HOLA, SENOR HOLT.
Mr. Holt says, TAKE THAT RIDICULOUS SCARF OFF AND GET IN FOR YOUR SPANISH TEST NOW, CONOR.
Conor says, UH, WHAT? I-I MEAN, QUE?
Mr. Holt says, AND, FOR THE RECORD, FAKE TAN SHOULD ALWAYS BE APPLIED SPARINGLY.
Clanger asks, DO YOU THINK HE BOUGHT IT?
[Background chattering, Spanish guitar music plays]
On the next floor, Jessica looks over a railing at Conor and Clanger.
Jessica says, SO...HEY. I'VE ARRANGED A LITTLE SOMETHING FOR OUR NEW ARRIVAL.
[Sweat dripping]
Jessic holds a small poster. In an animation, sweat drips down Conor’s face. Text reads, “Uh Oh.”
Clanger reads, "COME TO OUR AMIGOS OF ALEX INFORMATION CIRCLE?"
Jessica says, WE ALL WANT TO LEARN ABOUT HIM, HIS HOPES, HIS DREAMS. HIS LOVES.
Clanger watches Jessica with his mouth hanging open.
Clanger says, WE'LL BE THERE.
Conor asks, WHAT DID YOU SAY THAT FOR? I CAN'T GO THROUGH WITH THIS.
Clanger says, YES, YOU CAN, DON'T WORRY, IT'LL ONLY BE A FEW PEOPLE.
[Footsteps thumping, Spanish guitar music plays, students chattering]
Conor follows Clanger up the stairs to a room filled with mingling students. Jessica carries a tray of food to a group of girls.
Conor says, MORE THAN A FEW, THAT'S LOADS!
A banner over a flag of Spain reads, “Amigos of Alex.” Conor looks around, open-mouthed and blinking rapidly.
Jessica says, THERE HE IS!
[Applause]
Jessica brings the tray to Conor.
Jessica says, BIENVENIDO, ALEX.
Conor says, MM, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
Clanger says, THAT'S SPANISH FOR YEAH.
Conor says, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
[Background chattering]
Jim arrives, carrying a food tray.
Jim says, BON SOIR, MATEY. I'VE PREPARED SOME BRITISH TAPAS IN YOUR HONOUR. HERE, MY PERSONAL FAVOURITE IS A SMILEY-FACED POTATO.
Jim gives Conor a smiling fried potato.
Jessica says, WE ALSO HAVE ACTUAL TAPAS.
Jim says, OOH, AN ONION RING. DON'T MIND IF I DO.
[Munching, gagging]
Jim takes a battered ring off Jessica’s tray and chews. He spits it out onto the floor.
Jim says, THAT'S FISH!
[Jim coughing]
Jessica gives Jim a napkin, and he uses it to wipe his mouth.
Conor stammers, UH, I GO. ADIOS.
[Thumping]
Conor backs away, and Clanger puts his hand behind him and shoves him forward.
Jessica says, OH, YOU'RE PETRIFIED AND ADORABLE.
Speaking loudly and slowly, Jessica says, DON'T WORRY, I KNOW WHAT TO DO!
Jessica gives Jim her tray, and Clanger and Conor watch her walk away. In a school hallway, Aoife faces Zara and Charlotte.
Aoife says, YOU SHOULD KNOW BY NOW NOT TO MAKE NYLA ANGRY.
Aoife says, SHE'LL BE BACK ONCE SHE REALIZES SHE'S MADE A BIG MISTAKE.
Charlotte says, BUT UNLESS YOU PASS THE TEST WE WON'T HAVE YOU EITHER. SO SAY SORRY.
Nyla approaches behind Aoife.
Aoife tells us, OKAY, I APOLOGIZE, SHE COMES BACK, WE WIN THE MATCH.
[Background chattering, students’ footsteps pattering]
Aoife says, LOOK, I'M SORRY. OKAY?
Nyla says, SORRY FOR WHAT, EXACTLY?
Aoife says, YOU KNOW...STUFF.
Nyla says, YOU'RE JUST SAYING THAT SO I'LL COME BACK.
Aoife says, WELL, DUH. BUT HONESTLY—
Jessica says, SO, AOIFE, I HAVE VITAL INFO ON BEATING THE DRAGONS.
[Light music plays]
Aoife follows Jessica.
Aoife says, OOH, TELL ME.
Jessica says, FIRST, A FAVOUR. COME WITH ME.
Nyla says, OI, WE'RE NOT DONE HERE!
Aoife says, NYLA, MATCH INTEL, MORE IMPORTANT.
Aoife tells us, RIGHT, THAT'S NYLA HAPPY. NOW IT'S TIME TO REFOCUS ON THE MATCH.
[Needle scratching a record]
At the Amigos of Alex meeting, Jessica and Aoife stand in front of seated students.
Jessica says, AND SO, WE HAVE ALEX'S COUSIN WHO, RATHER STRANGELY, IS AOIFE.
[Scattered applause]
Jessica says, SO, I CAN'T BELIEVE ALEX IS YOUR COUSIN.
Aoife says, ME EITHER.
Jessica asks, HOW DID THAT HAPPEN? I MEAN...HE'S SO...
[Jessica giggling]
Jessica says, AND YOU'RE SO...
Aoife asks, WHAT?
Jessica says, WELL, PALE, FOR A START.
Aoife asks, WHAT ABOUT THE INTEL ON HOW TO BEAT THE DRAGONS?
Jessica replies, OH, JUST SCORE MORE BASKETS.
[Growling, flames whooshing, crunching]
In an animation, Aoife’s eyes turn red, and flames shoot out of her nose. Text reads, “Say what?” Nearby, Clanger chews with his mouth open.
Jessica says, AS YOU KNOW, ALEX…
[Spanish guitar music plays, thumping]
Jim sits in the row behind Conor, still holding his tapas tray. He pats Conor’s shoulder.
Jessica continues, A CLOSE FRIEND OF MINE IS STILL LEARNING ENGLISH. SO AOIFE IS GOING TO TELL US ALL ABOUT HIM.
Aoife says, SO, ALEX...IS FROM A LITTLE TOWN IN SPAIN CALLED...
Aoife tells us, COME ON, AOIFE, USE YOUR IMAGINATION.
Aoife says, IMAG-- IMAGIO. YEP, THAT'S IT.
[Thumping]
Jim pats Conor’s back.
Jessica says, WOW. SO YOU'RE FAMILIAR WITH ALL THINGS SPANISH?
Aoife says, SI. TAPAS. MESSY FLAMINGO DANCING.
Jessica says, YOU MEAN FLAMENCO?
Aoife says, YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I SAID.
Jessica asks, SO YOU KNOW IT? CAN YOU SHOW US?
Aoife says, UM... NOT TODAY.
Jessica says, IT IS QUITE TRICKY TO PULL OFF.
Aoife says, WELL, I CAN DO IT. JUST... NOT WITHOUT MY SPECIAL SPANISH DRESS.
Jim says, WAIT, I ACTUALLY THINK WE HAVE ONE OF THOSE IN THE COSTUME DEPARTMENT.
[Upbeat music plays, fan flapping]
Jessica points at Jim. Aoife’s eyes widen, and her mouth falls open. The purple and pink star appears and spins. Later, Aoife wears a red dress and her long blonde hair is braided. She fans herself with a black and red lacy fan and gestures for Jessica to wait.
Jessica says, WELL, THAT WAS INTERESTING. THE, UM...LIMBO SEGMENT WAS A SURPRISE.
[Students chattering]
Jessica walks away from Aoife. Aoife taps Conor’s shoulder.
Aoife says, RIGHT, I HAVE SOME DRAGONS TO GO SLAY. SO, AMIGO ALEX BETTER GET LOST.
Conor says, TELL THAT TO CLANGER.
Clanger says, ALL RIGHT, ANYONE WHO WANTS A SELFIE OF ALEX OVER HERE.
[Students clamouring]
Jim says, HEY! THE LINE STARTS BEHIND ME!
Behind Jim, students shove each other.
Aoife says, UNBELIEVABLE. WHAT A TOTAL AND UTTER…
On a staircase landing, Charlotte and Zara stare at Aoife.
Aoife says, CHEAT.
Zara says, SO, ALEX IS REALLY CONOR?
[Background chattering]
Aoife rolls her eyes and nods.
Charlotte says, THE NECK SCARF FOOLED EVERYONE. THAT'S THE POWER OF ACCESSORIZING.
Zara says, NAH. I KNEW ALL ALONG THERE WAS SOMETHING. I MEAN, HE HAD WAY TOO MUCH FAKE TAN ON HIS PANTS.
Charlotte nods and says, ROOKIE MISTAKE.
Aoife says, BUT IT WORKED, SO ERGO, IF IT WORKS FOR HIM IT'LL WORK FOR ME. ERGO IF I CHEAT ON MY TEST I'LL PASS. ERGO I'LL BE FREE TO PLAY THE MATCH.
[Spy music plays, background chattering]
Charlotte says, OKAY, BUT WHO'S ERGO? IS THAT YOUR OTHER COUSIN?
Aoife tells us, PRESENTING THE PLAN.
Aoife holds an open notebook with a drawing of the school ducts, a stick person dangling over a table and a peanut. Text reads, “The Plan. Exam papers, Peanut allergy, Zara, Mr. Holt distracted, Test passed.”
Aoife tells us, FIRSTLY, CHARLOTTE WILL CREEP THROUGH THE VENTS, THEN GET THE TEST PAPER, DELIVER IT TO ZARA WHO WILL HAVE FAKED A PEANUT ALLERGY.
Zara says, THIS IS ALL POINTLESS ANYWAY. UNTIL YOU SAY SORRY TO NYLA.
Aoife says, BUT I DID SAY SORRY. WAIT, WHERE IS SHE?
Charlotte says, REHEARSING FOR THE PLAY.
Aoife says, WHAT? SHE'LL HATE EVERY MINUTE. SCARE EVERYBODY THERE. THEN COME RUNNING BACK TO US.
[Whooshing]
The purple and pink star appears and spins. In the auditorium, Nyla sits on the stage with the other actors.
A red-haired boy says, I MEAN, YOU JUST EXUDE POWER ON STAGE.
[Others chattering in agreement]
Nyla smiles.
The red-haired boy says, YOU'RE MESMERIZING.
Mr. Holt says, WELCOME TO THE THEATRE.
Nyla says, IT'S MAGNIFICENT.
Mr. Holt says, BETTER THAN BASKETBALL.
Nyla says, ACTING IS FUN, BUT I STILL LOVE TO PLAY. EVEN IF AOIFE IS A PAIN, SHE DOES CARE.
Mr. Holt says, WELL, SHE OBVIOUSLY ISN'T MISSING YOU. OTHERWISE, SHE WOULD'VE COME UP WITH ONE OF HER RIDICULOUS SCHEMES TO SECRETLY WIN YOU BACK.
Mr. Holt runs to the table and then across the stage.
He says, I MEAN, SHE'S NOT OVER HERE. AND SHE'S NOT OVER HERE. NOR IS SHE BEHIND HERE.
[Curtains rustling, Mr. Holt gasping]
Mr. Holt opens a stage curtain, and Jim stands behind it.
Jim says, I KNOW ALL THE LINES. I'M READY.
[Upbeat music notes play]
In the hallway, Zara says, THIS IS EXACTLY WHY NYLA GOT HACKED OFF. YOU'RE NOT LISTENING. JUST APOLOGIZE.
Charlotte says, YEAH, A BIG PROPER SORRY.
[Footsteps pattering, background chattering]
Zara and Charlotte walk up the stairs.
Aoife says, BUT I WAS LISTENING. HOW ELSE WOULD I KNOW THAT NYLA'S IN A PLAY ABOUT... WAIT, WHAT WERE THOSE TWO WARRING BASKETBALL TEAMS?
[Whooshing, dinging]
A lightbulb appears above Aoife’s head.
Aoife narrates, MAYBE THEY'RE RIGHT. MAYBE I'M TOO OBSESSED TO LISTEN TO MY TEAMIES.
[Tape rewinding, upbeat music plays]
Aoife tells us, SO WE HAVE OUR FIRST WINNABLE MATCH COMING UP, AND I WAS LIKE, “NYLA, INSTIL FEAR." AND NYLA WAS LIKE...
Text beside Aoife reads, “Fear.”
[Growling]
In a flashback, Nyla rolls her eyes and walks away from the student who bumped into her.
In the present, Aoife tells us, AND SHE WAS ACTUALLY LIKE PRETTY SCARY. BUT I CAN DO OTHER THINGS LIKE BE IN A PLAY NOBODY CARES ABOUT.
[Whooshing, upbeat music continues]
In a flashback, Aoife acts on the table and pulls the rope that drops the sandbag. Another flashback shows Aoife wearing the red dress and fanning herself beside a shaking drawing of a flamingo.
In the present, Aoife tells us, AND I DID A FLAMINGO THING. AND HOLT WAS LIKE, "YOU'D BETTER..."
Text reads, “8 out of 10.”
In a flashback, Mr. Holt says, GET AT LEAST 8 OUT OF 10 ON FRIDAY'S TEST.
In the present, Aoife tells us, AND I WAS LIKE, "WHATEVER."
In a flashback, Aoife says, IF I CHEAT ON MY TEST I'LL PASS.
[Thumping]
Zara’s eyes and mouth appear on a bouncing basketball. Text reads, “Blah, blah, blah.”
Aoife narrates, BUT ZARA WAS LIKE, "BLAH, BLAH, BLAH," OR WHATEVER IT WAS.
[Crowd cheering, trophies clinking]
In a daydream, Aoife daydreams with trophies and basketballs falling into a pile behind her. In a flashback, Aoife walks away from Nyla.
In the present, Aoife tells us, AND THEN, IT DAWNED ON ME THAT I WASN'T ACTUALLY LISTENING TO HER OR NYLA. AND I DIDN'T ACTUALLY SAY SORRY. PROPERLY. BUT IS IT TOO LATE?
[Whistle blaring, thudding, cheering]
Title: “High Hoops.”
The letters in the title fall.
[Footsteps thumping, background chattering]
In the school library, Zara turns a corner and Conor stops in front of her.
Conor says, SCUSI.
Zara says, THAT'S ITALIAN, CONOR.
Conor says, RIGHT. YEAH. THANKS.
Zara says, THAT'S WAY TOO MUCH FAKE TAN.
Conor says, IT'S A HEALTHY GLOW.
Zara says, YOU LOOK LIKE AN ORANGE AND YOU'RE ACTING LIKE A LEMON.
Conor says, EVERYONE SEEMS TO PREFER ALEX.
Zara says, NOT EVERYONE. I MEAN, WHY ACT LIKE SOMEONE ELSE? YOU'RE NOT THAT BAD OF A PERSON YOURSELF.
[Upbeat guitar music plays, whirring]
Zara smiles at Conor and walks away. Polka dots move in front of Conor. Later, Clanger and Conor stand together in the cafeteria.
Clanger says, WHAT? YOU CAN'T DITCH ALEX.
Conor says, CONOR IS BACK.
[Slide whistle, background chattering]
Conor holds a jar of “Tan Unspritz. Fake Tan Remover. Upgrade your tanning routine.”
Clanger says, OH, NO, NOT HIM.
Conor says, WHY? HE'S NOT...I MEAN, I'M NOT THAT BAD, ACTUALLY.
Clanger says, HE'S BORING AND PREACHY. AND HE DOESN'T EVEN OWN A DECENT SCARF.
Conor says, LOOK, ALEX HAS TO GO BEFORE AOIFE BLABS TO ANYONE ELSE. AGREED?
[Footsteps thumping]
Jessica arrives and walks to Conor.
Jessica says, SO, WE GO WATCH VIPERS EMBARRASS THEMSELVES AT MATCH LATER?
Clanger says, WE'LL BE THERE.
Jessica says, GREAT. ADIOS.
Jessica smiles and waves to Conor.
Conor asks, WHAT DID WE LITERALLY JUST SAY?
Clanger says, YOU HEARD, SHE'S DYING TO MEET ME.
Conor says, NOT YOU. ALEX.
Clanger asks, WHY HIM?
Conor says, BECAUSE... LIKE ME, HE'S HANDSOME AND CHARMING?
Clanger says, NO. SHE ONLY INVITED HIM NOT TO BE RUDE. SHE KNOWS I'M MR. LOVER MAN.
Conor says, THEN YOU DON'T NEED ME THERE.
[Background banging, upbeat music plays]
Clanger says, I DO. HE'S LIKE A HANDY CONVERSATION STARTER. LIKE WHEN YOU GET A NEW FOOTBALL OR PUPPY.
Conor asks, SO I'M A PUPPY NOW?
Clanger says, YEAH. SO COME ALONG FOR A BIT, GET THINGS GOING, AND SCAMPER OFF.
Conor asks, WHY SHOULD I?
Clanger replies, BECAUSE IF YOU DON’T, I'LL TELL EVERYONE THAT WHEN YOU SAY HI TO HORSES, YOU DO IT IN A REALLY DEEP VOICE.
In a deep voice, Clanger says, "HI. MR. HORSEY."
Conor says, OH, FINE. BUT AFTER, ALEX IS GETTING ON A FLIGHT TO SPAIN.
Clanger says, COOL. BUT I AM SO GOING TO HIS VILLAGIO THIS SUMMER. ME AND HIM WILL HAVE A BLAST.
Conor squints at Clanger.
[Medieval flute music plays, whooshing]
The Midvale school crest spins over students as they walk through a doorway. In the auditorium, the students perform Romeo and Juliet for an audience. Romeo, played by the red-haired boy, stands beneath Juliet’s balcony as Nyla, as the nurse, watches.
On the stage, Romeo says, THUS FROM MY LIPS, BY THINE, MY SIN IS PURGED.
Juliet replies, THEN HAVE MY LIPS, THE SINS THAT THEY HAVE TOOK.
Romeo says, SIN FROM MY LIPS? O TRESPASS SWEETLY URGED. GIVE ME MY SIN AGAIN.
Juliet says, YOU KISS BY THE BOOK.
In the audience, Mr. Holt nods.
Aoife whispers, PSST, NYLA.
Nyla glances at Aoife, who wears the tree costume.
Aoife whispers, NYLA. NYLA.
Nyla asks, AOIFE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
Aoife replies, I HAVE TO TALK TO YOU.
Nyla asks, DO WHAT? I'M IN THE ZONE.
Nyla, as the nurse, says, MADAME, YOUR MOTHER CRAVES A WORD WITH YOU.
Aoife whispers, LOOK, I KNOW I DIDN'T LISTEN TO YOU, I WAS AN IDIOT.
Nyla says, ACCURATE.
Romeo asks, WHAT IS HER MOTHER?
Nyla whispers to Aoife, HANG ON.
Nyla, as the nurse, says, MARY, BACHELOR, HER MOTHER IS THE LADY OF THE HOUSE.
Aoife whispers, I WANT YOU TO COME BACK.
Nyla, as the nurse, says, AND A GOOD LADY. NOT SELFISH AND STUBBORN.
[Paper rustling]
In the audience, Mr. Holt consults his script.
Loudly, Aoife says, I'M SORRY, I WANT YOU TO COME BACK!
[Crowd gasping, murmuring]
Mr. Holt loudly whispers, AOIFE!
[Soft music plays]
Aoife says, EXCUSE ME, EVERYBODY, BUT NURSE HERE IS ACTUALLY A TOTAL BALLER AND HER TEAM NEEDS HER.
[Audience muttering, footsteps pattering]
Mr. Holt puts down his script and runs down the stairs to the stage.
Aoife says, NYLA, I KNOW YOU'VE PROBABLY MADE LIKE LOADS OF FRIENDS.
Nyla says, FIVE.
Juliet and Romeo smile.
Aoife says, BUT WE NEED YOU, AND NOT JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE SCARY.
Romeo says, ADD IN ELECTRIFYING.
Nyla says, TOO KIND.
The audience says, AWWW.
Aoife says, BUT BECAUSE YOU'RE AMAZING AND YOU HAVE GOOD...NO, GREAT IDEAS.
Mr. Holt whispers, AOIFE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
Juliet says, YOU CAN'T TAKE NYLA, SHE BELONGS TO THE THEATRE!
The crowd shouts, YEAH!
Nyla says, FRIENDS. COLLEAGUES. SOULMATES. AND THOSE WEIRD GUYS WHO WORK BACKSTAGE.
[People laughing]
Nyla continues, ALAS, THIS HAS BEEN MY FINAL PERFORMANCE.
The crowd shouts, NO!
Nyla says, LET'S GO, TEAMIE.
Mr. Holt says, WAIT, YOU CAN'T JUST LEAVE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PLAY.
Nyla says, IT'S OKAY, EVERYONE DIES IN THE END ANYWAY.
[Crowd murmuring, Mr. Holt sighing]
Nyla says, OOPS, SORRY! SPOILER ALERT.
Mr. Holt asks, BUT WHO'S GOING TO PLAY THE NURSE?
[Footsteps running, Jim panting]
Jim runs onto the stage wearing his nurse costume, wimple, and wristbands.
Mr. Holt says, GO ON THEN.
[Crowd laughing, Aoife grunting, thumping]
Jim walks across the stage. Aoife, wearing the tree costume, follows Nyla off the stand and down a staircase.
Aoife says, OH, CRISIS AVERTED.
[Clicking, fire alarm ringing, audience groaning]
Aoife turns, and one of the costume branches pushes the fire alarm button. On the stage, Mr. Holt looks at the ceiling and puts his hands on his temples.
Aoife says, OOPS.
[Footsteps running, fire alarm ringing, shouting, upbeat music plays]
Jim runs in the hallway, then stops beneath the exit sign and looks behind him.
Jim says, HURRY UP, EVERYONE, THIS WAY!
Students run past Jim.
Charlotte says, AOIFE, QUICK!
Zara says, BEFORE THE SPRINKLERS GO OFF!
The three students carry Aoife in her tree costume.
Aoife tells us, WHICH BRINGS US BACK HERE.
[Upbeat music plays, popping]
Title: “High Hoops.”
The first letter 'O' in 'hoops' inflates and pops.
[Fire alarm ringing, chattering, footsteps running]
On a staircase, Jim says, COME ON, GUYS, QUICK!
In the hallway at the top of the stairs, Aoife smiles and approaches Nyla, who backs away.
Nyla asks, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
Aoife replies, TRYING TO GIVE YOU A HUG.
Nyla says, YEAH? THAT'S ALL RIGHT. I DON'T HUG FAKE TREES, ONLY REAL ONES. MATCH ISN'T 'TIL TOMORROW ANYWAY. COULD'VE JUST WAITED UNTIL THE PLAY WAS OVER.
[Soft music plays]
Aoife says, I KNOW BUT WE WERE TOO WORRIED WE WERE GOING TO LOSE YOU TO THE THEATRE.
Charlotte says, YEAH, YOU'RE SO GOOD.
Nyla says, I KNOW, I'M GOOD AT EVERYTHING. BUT WE'RE A TEAM. WE'RE FAMILY.
Aoife says, AND I'M SORRY, I WAS SO FOCUSED ON MY OWN SELFISH GOALS, JUST LIKE CAPULET AND TYBALT CAUSING MISERY.
Zara says, WHOA, AOIFE, YOU JUST HAD IMPORTANT INSIGHT TO THE PLAY.
Aoife says, AND?
Zara says, AND MAYBE YOU DON'T HAVE TO CHEAT.
Charlotte says, YEAH, FINALLY STARTING TO GET IT.
Aoife smiles broadly.
[Whooshing, upbeat music plays]
As night turns into morning, the Midvale school crest spins over the town.
[Background chattering, paper rustling]
As students leave the classroom, Mr. Holt gives back their graded tests. He gives Aoife a paper with 8 out of 10.
[Dinging, crowd cheering, whooshing]
Aoife says, YES! THAT'S A SLAY! DOES THAT MEAN I GET TO PLAY IN THE MATCH?
Mr. Holt says, NO, YOU'RE STILL ON DETENTIONS PLURAL FOR THAT TREE STUNT, THE MASS EVACUATION, AND THE RATHER HUMILIATING REPRIMAND I HAD TO ENDURE FROM THE FIRE CHIEF AFTERWARDS.
Aoife says, NO, PLEASE. CAN'T I START THEM AFTER THE MATCH? I BESEECH THEE.
Mr. Holt crosses his arms.
Nyla says, COME ON, IF YOU LET HER PLAY I'LL COME BACK FOR THE PERFORMANCE TOMORROW.
Mr. Holt says, DEAL.
Zara says, HURRY, WE NEED TO GET TO THE MATCH.
Aoife says, PREPARE TO THE GYM WHERE WE SHALL WINNETH!
[Paper rustling, footsteps thumping]
Aoife, Zara, and Charlotte leave the room. Nyla lingers, looks at Mr. Holt, then follows her friends. Mr. Holt nods.
Mr. Holt says, THOSE THAT ARE FOOLS LET THEM USE THEIR TALENTS.
Mr. Holt looks at the empty classroom.
Mr. Holt says, AND NO ONE AROUND TO HEAR THAT.
[Dinging, Spanish music plays]
Later, Jessica walks down a staircase in the school as Clanger and Conor arrive, both wearing neck scarves.
Jessica says, OH, YOU'RE HERE TOO.
Clanger says, YEAH, HI. WE'RE HERE TO WATCH THE MATCH.
Jessica says, YOU KNOW, THERE'S AN ICE CREAM VAN OUTSIDE THE GYM. COULD YOU BE MY HERO AND RUN ON AHEAD AND GET US A SLUSHIE?
Clanger says, ON IT.
[Footsteps running]
Clanger runs towards the door.
Jessica says, HOLA, MI AMOR.
[Rustling]
Jessica unfolds a fan and fans herself.
Conor says, UH. CLANGER, HE BACK SOON?
Jessica says, NAH, THERE'S A MASSIVE QUEUE FOR SLUSHIES. WE'RE SOLO FOR A WHILE.
Jessica grabs Conor’s arm and pulls him down the hallway.
[Whooshing, upbeat music plays, cheering]
In the gymnasium, Aoife, Charlotte, Nyla, and Zara wear their basketball uniforms. Aoife and Nyla stand with their arms crossed, and Charlotte has her hands on her hips. On the other side of the gymnasium, the four Dragon players stand with their arms crossed.
Nyla says, CURTAINS UP. AND ACTION.
Clanger arrives carrying two slushies.
Clanger says, THE SLUSHIE MACHINE WAS BROKE BUT I NABBED SOME KIDS'. THERE'S JUST ENOUGH...FOR TWO.
On the bleachers, Conor leans away from Jessica as she leans towards him with her eyes shut and puckered lips.
Clanger says, OI, WHAT ARE YOU PLAYING AT, CONOR?
Jessica says, CONOR?!
Conor says, UH, SI?
[Whooshing, tense horror music plays]
Jessica pulls the scarf off Conor’s neck.
Jessica says, O-M-G. I HAVE SERIOUS VOMIT-AGE.
[Light music plays]
Clanger says, OI, THIS CUTS DEEP.
Conor says, WHAT? IT WAS ALL HER. I TOLD YOU SHE LIKED ALEX.
Jessica says, BECAUSE... BECAUSE HE KNEW HOW TO TREAT A GIRL.
[Footsteps thumping]
Jessica leaves, and Clanger follows her.
Clanger says, WAIT, BUT I GOT YOU THE BLUE FLAVOUR!
Nearby, a girl with long hair says, I MUCH PREFERRED ALEX ANYWAY.
A boy with curly hair says, YEAH, CONOR'S JUST... UGH.
Zara says, I'M GLAD YOU'RE BACK. I ALWAYS THOUGHT ALEX WAS A BIT UP HIMSELF.
Conor and Zara smile at each other.
[Basketball thumping, whooshing]
Later, a Dragons player scores and the scoreboard reads, “5 point 8, Vipers 15, Dragons 15.”
Zara says, TIME OUT!
[Whistle blaring]
A referee says, TIME OUT, VIPERS.
Aoife, Nyla, and Charlotte run to Zara. Jim joins them wearing his tracksuit and the wimple.
Jim says, RIGHT, FIVE SECONDS LEFT. I'M GIVING YOU AN INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE. IF YOU CAN BELIEVE IT, YOU CAN ACHIEVE IT. BUT RIGHT NOW WE NEED A STRATEGY.
[Thumping]
Aoife puts her hand over her heart.
Nyla says, I HAVE AN IDEA.
Aoife says, ME, TOO. IF WE—GO AHEAD.
[Tense music plays]
Nyla says, AOIFE, SET A BAR SCREEN ON ME, I CAN GET A TWO-POINTER.
Zara says, NYLA'S SHOTS BEEN ON ALL GAME.
Aoife says, LET'S DO IT.
[Hands slapping]
Jim and the team put their hands on top of each other.
Jim says, VIPERS ON THREE. ONE, TWO, THREE.
The team shouts, VIPERS!
[Dribbling, epic music plays]
In slow motion, Charlotte dribbles the ball and bounces it to a Dragon player. Lights shine around the Vipers players. The gymnasium and the people in it appear in black and white. When the light around a Viper player touches a Dragon player, they change from black-and-white to full colour. Charlotte dribbles the ball past the Dragon player and passes it to Aoife, who passes it to Nyla. Nyla sinks a basket. On the sidelines, Zara jumps excitedly, and Jim stands. The gymnasium returns to full colour.
[Excited shouting, cheering, buzzer blaring, laughing]
Nyla, Charlotte, and Aoife hug each other. Jim and Zara run to them, and everyone hugs and jumps excitedly. Aoife walks away from the group.
Aoife tells us, YES, WE'RE TOTALLY MILKING IT. IT'S OUR FIRST PROPER WIN!
Clanger runs into the gymnasium wearing a beret and a neck scarf.
Clanger says, BONJOUR.
[Needle scratching a record, cheerful music plays]
Clanger says, I AM JEAN-LUC. THE COUSIN OF LE CLANGER.
[Zara, Charlotte, Nyla, and Aoife laughing]
Aoife shakes her head.
[Upbeat music plays, thumping]
Singers sing, DOO, DOO, DOO, DOO, DOO, DOO, DOO, DOO.
In an animation, a basketball bounces off a net. The ball lands in the basket. A second ball bounces off the rim of the net. A basketball falls into the net.
End credits. Cast in order of appearance: Jim, Nigel Boyle. Aoife, Darci Hull. Nyla, Frankie-Jae Simmonds. Zara, Isha Kaur Athwal. Charlotte, Ella Bernstein. Clanger, Dylan Lakhanpaul. Conor, Arthur Kay. Jessica, Bea Ward. Special thanks Calderdale College. Executive Producer for B.B.C., Anita Burgess, Melissa Hardinge. Executive Producer, Rebecca Papworth. Logos: Can Can Productions Limited for B.B.C. Copyright Can Can Productions 2024. Filmed in West Yorkshire. Logo: A.P.C. Kids.
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