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Transcript: The Crispy Crisp Cup Shot
[School bell ringing, upbeat music plays, banging, laughing, slide whistle, whistle blaring]
A drawing features Midvale school posters taped to double doors. In live-action, Aoife throws the doors open. She stands in a school hallway lined with lockers on each side. Aoife has her long blonde hair in pigtails and wears a blue basketball jersey with the Midvale Vipers logo on the front. Text reads, “Phew.” In a drawing of a gymnasium filled with people on the bleachers, live-action Zara points at her watch while Nyla throws a basketball to Aoife. Zara has her long black hair in a ponytail, and Nyla’s brown hair is in two braids. Both wear their Vipers jerseys. Aoife catches the basketball and spins it on her finger. In an animation, a water balloon hits Aoife, and text reads, “Sploosh!” In the bleachers, Conor, who has short brown hair, holds a water balloon. Clanger sits beside him and points. He has short, dark brown hair. The head teacher, Mr. Holt, arrives and text reads, “Woah.” Mr. Holt has short blond hair and a moustache. Charlotte points a hair dryer at Aoife, and her pigtails fly up in the air. Charlotte wears her brown hair in a bun. Text reads, “Wooosh!” Aoife dribbles the ball and trips. Text reads, “Epic Fail.”
Singers sing, DOOT, DOOT, DOO, DOO, DOOT, DOOT, DOO, DOOT.
Title: “High Hoops.”
B.B.C. Created by Sinéad Fagan. Written by Julia Kent.
[Splatting, upbeat music plays]
In a bathroom, a wet sponge hits Aoife’s head.
Nyla, Charlotte, and Zara shout, BOO!
Aoife tells us, THE TRUTH IS I TOTALLY DESERVE THIS!
Charlotte shouts, BOO!
[Splatting]
Charlotte throws a wet sponge at Aoife.
Aoife tells us, LET ME TELL YOU—
Zara shouts, BOO!
Zara throws a wet sponge at Aoife.
Aoife tells us, LET ME TELL YOU—
[Splatting]
A sponge hits Aoife.
Aoife tells us, BUT LET ME TELL YOU WHY!
[Tape rewinding, footsteps pattering, light music plays]
In the school yard, Zara, Aoife, Nyla, and Charlotte walk towards the school.
Aoife says, STUDENTS VERSUS TEACHERS WEEK? IS THAT EVEN A REAL THING?
Jim and a group of teachers run past. Director, Tim Hopewell. Producer Dominique Molloy. With Robert Webb as Mr. Holt.
Jim says, COMING OUT! COMING OUT!
The teachers shout, IT'S COMING OUT! IT'S COMING OUT!
Zara says, STUDENTS VERSUS TEACHERS IS VERY REAL. A WHOLE WEEK WHERE MIDVALE TEACHERS AND STUDENTS GO HEAD-TO-HEAD COMPETING FOR THE CRISPY CRISP CUP.
A golden cup overflowing with golden leaves appears on a pedestal.
Aoife says, OOH! SHINY!
Charlotte says, TACKY YET DESIRABLE. LIKE VERSACE!
Zara says, THE STUDENTS HAVE NEVER WON IT.
Aoife says, WHAT? WHY?
Nyla says, BECAUSE THE TEACHERS ALWAYS STACK THE ODDS IN THEIR FAVOUR.
[Whooshing, upbeat music plays]
Polka dots move across the screen. In a flashback, a teacher with chin-length brown hair and Jessica sit across from each other at a table. Mr. Holt stands beside a whiteboard.
Mr. Holt says, AND THE TOPIC FOR THE TEACHERS VERSUS STUDENTS QUIZ WILL BE—
Mr. Holt flips the whiteboard. A bright orange line outlines the text, which reads, “Advanced Thermodynamics.”
He continues, ADVANCED THERMODYNAMICS!
The teacher with chin-length hair lifts her arm and cheers, YAY!
[Jessica groaning]
In another flashback, Jim stands in the gym.
Jim says, LET THE ARM WRESTLING COMMENCE.
[Students cheering, knuckles cracking]
A short-haired boy looks up at a man with a shaved head who cracks his knuckles.
The short-haired boy thinks, WHAT! THAT'S NOT FAIR!
[Knuckles cracking, student gulping]
The short-haired boy looks up at the man with the shaved head, who smiles. Jim nods and smirks. In another flashback, Charlotte and a bearded teacher sit behind easels in the art classroom. Mr. Holt stands behind them.
Mr. Holt says, AND THE SPEED COLOURING IN CHALLENGE STARTS IN THREE, TWO, ONE.
[Whistle blowing]
Charlotte fills in a picture of the Mona Lisa. The bearded teacher holds up a finished picture of an orange cat.
[Whistle blowing]
Charlotte says, WHAT!
[Charlotte groaning, chiming]
The flashback ends. In the school hallway, Aoife, Charlotte, Nyla, and Zara look at the gleaming cup.
Aoife says, THAT'S AWFUL. SO UNFAIR!
Aoife tells us, IF I WAS A TEACHER, TOTALLY WHAT I WOULD DO.
[Backpack thumping]
Zara walks to a scoreboard with two columns beside the cup and puts down her backpack. The teacher column has five events, and the student column has five events. The bottom row features a picture of a basketball in the middle.
Zara says, IT ISN'T FAIR, BUT THIS MORNING THE STUDENTS WON FOR CROSSWORDS, FOR CROSS-COUNTRY, AND THE CROSS STITCH.
[Beeping, background chattering]
Charlotte says, WE NEVER WIN THOSE! DO YOU SEE WHAT THAT MEANS?
Aoife says, THAT THERE ARE WAY MORE EVENTS BEGINNING WITH "CROSS" THAN YOU'D THINK.
Zara says, IT MEANS THAT IF EVERYTHING GOES HOW IT NORMALLY DOES.
[Rustling, chiming]
Nyla adds event pictures to the teacher’s column.
Nyla says, FOOTBALL, BADMINTON, KNITTING. WARFARE ON THE WATERS TO THEM. WELLY WAG, WORD SEARCH, HIGH JUMP, AND CUSTARD SWIM TO US.
Zara says, IF THIS HAPPENS, THEN—
[Charlotte imitating a drum roll, rim shot plays]
Zara says, THE CRISPY CRISP CUP IS DECIDED BY THE TEACHERS VERSUS STUDENTS BASKETBALL MATCH.
[Whooshing, Charlotte inhaling deeply]
Nyla picks up the basketball event picture and gives it to Zara.
Zara says, WE USUALLY GET DESTROYED.
Charlotte says, BUT THIS YEAR WE'RE A MUCH BETTER TEAM. ALL BECAUSE OF YOU.
Charlotte wipes away a tear.
Aoife says, AW! NOT ALL BECAUSE OF ME!
Zara says, NO, NOT ALL BECAUSE OF HER.
Aoife tells us, DEFINITELY HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH IT THOUGH.
Zara says, FOR WHATEVER REASON, OUR TEAM WILL FINALLY BE THE ONES TO BRING HOME THE CRISPY CRISP CUP.
[Epic music plays]
The cup gleams.
[Upbeat music plays]
Charlotte says, WE'LL GO DOWN IN SCHOOL HISTORY!
Nyla says, WE'D BE HEROES!
Aoife says, REALLY POPULAR ONES, BECAUSE OF ME. AGAIN, NOT ALL BECAUSE OF ME.
Nyla and Zara look at each other. Aoife smiles at us.
Aoife says, THIS IS HUGE!
Zara says, OF COURSE, IF THE FOOTBALL TEAM WIN THEIR MATCH, IT WON'T MATTER WHAT WE DO.
Aoife says, OH.
[Whooshing, cheering]
On the playing field, Conor and Clanger walk together. Behind them, a group of teachers jumps excitedly.
Conor says, 23-NIL.
[Teachers cheering]
Conor says, WE JUST LOST 23-NIL. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!
A teacher shouts, YES!
[Footsteps running, rustling]
Aoife runs up behind Conor and Clanger and puts her arms around their shoulders.
Aoife says, AW! JUST HEARD THE NEWS. LOSING TO THE TEACHERS LIKE THAT. YOU MUST BE SO EMBARRASSED. WELL, JUST LOOKS LIKE THE VIPERS ARE GONNA HAVE TO KICK SOME TEACHER BUTT INSTEAD! BECAUSE YOU GUYS CERTAINLY AREN'T UP TO IT. LOSERS!
Aoife runs away.
Clanger says, IF YOUR SISTER BRINGS HOME THE CRISPY CRISP CUP, I'LL—
Conor says, THE GLOATING. SHE'S BAD ENOUGH WHEN SHE JUST WINS AT BREAKFAST.
[Upbeat music plays, toast rustling]
In a flashback, Aoife grabs two pieces of toast as they pop out of the toaster.
Aoife says, HA! IN YOUR FACE! IN YOUR ACTUAL FACE! LOSER!
Aoife makes an “L” on her forehead with her fingers. The flashback ends.
[The music ends]
On the field, Clanger says, STUPID AOIFE CANNOT WIN THAT CUP.
Conor asks, BUT WHAT CAN WE DO TO STOP HER?
[Upbeat music plays, whooshing]
Title: “High Hoops.”
A basketball hoop hangs beneath the first letter 'O' in 'hoops’, and a basketball falls into it.
[Sneakers squeaking]
In the gym, Aoife sits alone, looking down. Zara and Charlotte enter.
Charlotte asks, WHATCHA DOING?
Aoife says, I WAS JUST CHECKING THE COMPETITION.
[Girls giggling, basketball thumping]
A grey-haired teacher dribbles the ball, and it bounces up, hitting her face. Nyla stands beside Charlotte with her arms crossed. Aoife holds her smartphone.
Aoife says, BUT THEN I GOT A MESSAGE FROM DYLAN SAYING HE'S MOVING AWAY.
Zara says, OH, YEAH. HIS MUM GOT A NEW JOB.
[Hands thumping]
Aoife drops her hands to her sides.
Aoife says, THIS IS THE WORST NEWS EVER! I MEAN, I'M NEVER GOING TO LOVE AGAIN!
[Door clicking, upbeat music plays]
A teenage boy walks into the gym holding a basketball. He has dark brown hair and wears a red basketball jersey.
Aoife says, WAIT. WHO'S THAT GUY?
Charlotte says, THAT'S JAMIE. YOU CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH—
[Hearts bubbling]
Red and white hearts appear around Aoife. Jamie smiles at Aoife, and a red heart forms around him.
Aoife says, JAMIE.
Nyla waves her hand in front of Aoife’s face.
Nyla says, YOO-HOO. TOO LATE.
[Hearts bubbling, Zara clapping]
Zara claps her hands beside Aoife’s head.
Zara says, HE'S JESSICA'S EX.
Aoife says, AND HE'S A BALLER! WAIT. I THOUGHT DYLAN WAS JESSICA'S EX.
[Sneakers squeaking]
Nyla says, JAMIE'S JESSICA'S EX FROM KINDERGARTEN.
Zara says, ANYWAYS, CAN WE FOCUS ON THE GAME, PLEASE?
Aoife says, THERE'S LITERALLY NOTHING TO SEE.
Nyla says, JIM'S PLAYING FOR THE TEACHERS?
[Basketballs thumping, sneakers squeaking]
Jim sits on a chair by the basketball court and stretches.
Charlotte says, WELL, HE IS A TEACHER.
Zara says, HE'S ALSO OUR COACH!
Zara shouts, TRAITOR!
Aoife says, CHILL. NONE OF THEM HAVE ANY SKILLS WHATSOEVER.
[Energetic music plays, ball thumping, hands clapping]
Mr. Holt bounces the ball and practices his footwork. He passes the ball to another teacher. He claps his hands over his head.
Zara shouts, WOULDN'T CLAP THAT, SIR.
[Zara and Charlotte giggling, energetic music continues]
Jim throws the ball to Mr. Holt, and he misses it. Mr. Holt kicks the basketball.
Aoife says, IT'S ACTUALLY A BIT OF A SHAME THERE'S NOT MORE RIDING ON THIS MATCH BECAUSE WE'RE ACTUALLY SO WINNING IT. WAIT. BRILLIANT IDEA. SIR!
[Footsteps pattering]
Mr. Holt walks to Aoife, Nyla, Charlotte, and Zara.
Aoife says, MR. HOLT, SIR. THIS MATCH ON FRIDAY. FANCY MAKING IT A BIT MORE INTERESTING?
Mr. Holt asks, WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?
Aoife tells us, I'M NOT REALLY. I'M JUST MAKING THIS ALL UP AS I GO ALONG.
Aoife replies, WHAT ABOUT IF THE STUDENTS WIN THE CUP, THEN WE GET A DAY OFF OF SCHOOL.
Mr. Holt says, A. YOU WON'T. AND B. WHY WOULD I AGREE TO THAT?
Aoife says, BECAUSE IF YOU WIN THE CUP, THEN ON FRIDAY, WE'LL STAY AFTER SCHOOL AND CLEAN UP THE MESS.
[Whooshing, thumping]
Mr. Holt paces as Jim walks onto the court behind Aoife. He watches Jim sink a basket.
Charlotte says, UM. AOIFE.
[Thumping]
Behind Aoife, Jim sinks another basket.
Mr. Holt says, DEAL.
[Hand slapping]
Mr. Holt smiles and puts out his hand. Aoife shakes it, and Charlotte face palms.
Zara says, NO! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. BAD IDEA!
[Sneaker squeaking, whooshing, thumping]
Jim sinks another basket.
Aoife says, IT'S A GREAT IDEA! WE'LL WIN, EVERYONE WILL ADORE US, INCLUDING JAMIE.
Nyla says, LOOK.
[Smooching, whooshing, banging]
With his back to the net, Jim kisses the basketball, throws it, and scores a basket.
Aoife says, OH.
Zara says, AOIFE, IF WE LOSE AND EVERYBODY HAS TO STAY BEHIND ON FRIDAY, THE WHOLE SCHOOL WON'T LOVE US, THEY'LL HATE US.
Aoife tells us, IT'S LIKE SHE THINKS I DON'T KNOW A BAD SITUATION WHEN I SEE ONE.
Aoife says, IT'S FINE! I'LL SORT IT!
[Mr. Holt laughing loudly, footsteps thumping]
A sign on a door reads, “Mr. Holt. Headmaster.” In the hallway outside the office, Charlotte, Zara, and Nyla lean against a banister. Aoife leaves the office and walks to her friends.
Aoife says, OKAY, SO UNEXPECTEDLY, HOLT HELD US TO THE BAD DEAL.
[Background chattering]
Zara asks, WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
Charlotte replies, CHANGE SCHOOLS, OBVS.
Aoife says, NO, DON'T WORRY. I HAVE A PLAN. I'VE INVITED JIM AROUND TO MY HOUSE.
Nyla says, WE CAN LOCK HIM IN YOUR CELLAR AND IF ANYONE ASKS, WE HAVEN'T SEEN HIM. I LOVE IT.
Aoife says, NO. WE PLY HIM WITH MALLOW BISCUITS. HIS FAVOURITE! AND REMIND HIM THAT HE'S OUR COACH AND SHOULDN'T BE PLAYING WITH THE TEACHERS. PLAN? THAT'S UNLESS YOU HAVE ANY BETTER IDEAS. THAT ARE LEGAL.
[Upbeat music plays]
Nyla, Zara, and Charlotte say, PLAN!
They put their fists together and open their hands as they pull away.
[Upbeat music continues]
Later at Aoife’s house, Charlotte, Aoife, and Nyla sit at a table with mallow biscuits on a three-tiered serving dish. Behind them, Zara paces.
Nyla asks, HOW LATE IS JIM NOW?
Charlotte replies, WAY BEYOND FASHIONABLE.
Zara says, MAYBE HE WAS COMING, BUT HE HAD A TERRIBLE ACCIDENT.
Nyla says, HERE'S HOPING.
Aoife picks up the three-tiered serving dish.
Aoife says, LET'S GO FIND HIM. I'VE GOT THE JAM PUFFS. FOLLOW ME!
[Door creaking, stomping]
Aoife says, WHAT?
[Wrench cranking]
Jim kneels on the driveway beside Brid’s Volkswagen van and smiles up at Brid.
Jim says, JUST TIGHTEN THAT LAST LUG NUT.
[Jim chuckling, birds chirping]
Brid says, YOU'RE MY HERO.
[Jim chuckling, wrench clanking]
Aoife says, JIM!
[Rustling]
Jim stands with a grease smudge on his cheek.
Jim says, OH, AOIFE! DID I MISS YOUR LITTLE TEA PARTY?
[Birds chirping]
Aoife says, MALLOW BISCUIT PARTY! IN YOUR HONOUR!
[Upbeat music plays]
Jim says, OH, SORRY. I GOT SIDETRACKED BY THIS-- LOVELY LADY. LIKE A WILDEBEEST BEING CHASED BY WOLVES. STOPPING TO ADMIRE SOME SWEET, STALKY GRASS.
Aoife arches an eyebrow.
Brid asks, DOES THAT MAKE ME THE GRASS?
Jim replies, YEAH.
[Jim chuckling, Brid laughing]
Aoife tells us, JIM'S NOT THAT FUNNY. HE'S NOT FUNNY AT ALL.
[Jim and Brid laughing]
Brid and Jim gently shove each other’s shoulders.
Jim says, GET OFF!
Brid says, YOU GET OFF!
[Background Jim and Brid laughing, video game chiming]
In his bedroom, Conor says, RIGHT. I'VE GOT AN IDEA ON HOW TO STOP AOIFE.
[Controller clattering, chiming]
Conor picks up a controller and exits a video game on his desktop computer. He brings up the teacher-student scoreboard. Clanger drops his controller on the desk and lifts his hands.
Conor says, SO, THE STUDENTS ALWAYS LOSE KNITTING, BADMINTON, AND WARFARE ON THE WATERS.
Clanger says, RIGHT.
[Upbeat music plays]
Conor says, SO, WE WIN ONE OF THOSE EVENTS, NO ONE WILL CARE ABOUT AOIFE'S GAME. THE STUDENTS WILL HAVE ALREADY WON THE CUP. WHAT DO YOU THINK?
Clanger says, I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO PLAY BADMINTON.
[Conor groaning]
Conor says, ACTUALLY, I WAS THINKING THAT I COULD—
Clanger says, STAND BACK WHILE I DESTROY THE TEACHERS? GREAT PLAN!
[Buzzing, popping]
Title: “High Hoops.”
The first letter 'O' in 'hoops' inflates and pops.
[Rustling, upbeat music plays]
At school, Clanger enters the gym, takes off his uniform jacket, and throws it on the floor.
Clanger says, GIVE ME THAT!
[Smacking]
Clanger takes a racquet and a shuttlecock from a red-haired girl and serves it. A teacher with a ponytail hits it back. Clanger hits the shuttlecock, and it bounces off the net.
Clanger says, NO!
[Smacking, slide whistle]
Clanger swings his racquet and misses the shuttlecock.
Clanger says, NO!
[Groaning, smacking]
Clanger hits the shuttlecock into the net.
Clanger says, STUPID NET!
He throws the racquet at the floor, and it bounces, hitting his face. Text reads, “Pow.”
Clanger says, OW!
In a classroom, Jim stands between a brown-haired boy and a brown-haired teacher. They sit in rocking chairs on each side.
Jim says, TAKE UP YOUR KNITTING NEEDLES.
[Whistle blaring]
Jim blows his whistle, and Conor and Clanger run into the room.
Conor says, GIVE US YOUR KNITTING STICKS.
Clanger says, I'VE GOT THIS, RUDE BOY. TRUST!
The brown-haired boy gives Clanger his pink wool and knitting needles.
[Whooshing]
Polka dots move across the screen. Later, Conor and Clanger are tangled in pink wool. Jim holds up the finished sweater of the brown-haired teacher.
Jim says, WINNER!
[Thumping]
Conor and Clanger fall to the floor. Later, by the cup, Clanger and Jim play Battleship.
Jim says, C-6.
[Foghorn blaring, slide whistle, exploding]
In animation, a ship explodes.
Clanger shouts, NO!
[Whooshing]
Clanger throws ship pieces into the air above him.
Jim says, YES! YES! YES! YES!
[Thunking, Clanger groaning]
Conor winces in Clanger’s direction. Clanger turns towards Conor with two black eyes.
Clanger says, STUPID PLAN.
Conor says, IT'S OKAY. WE'LL FIND ANOTHER WAY TO STOP AOIFE.
[Thumping]
Mr. Holt pats Clanger’s shoulder and walks to the scoreboard.
Mr. Holt says, DEAREST CLANGER! HUGE THANKS FROM ALL THE TEACHERS.
[Chiming]
Mr. Holt puts the event wins in the teacher column on the scoreboard.
Conor says, YOU DON'T NEED TO THANK HIM. YOU WOULD HAVE WON THOSE EVENTS ANYWAY.
Mr. Holt says, OH, I THINK SOMEBODY DIDN'T SEE THE BADMINTON SCORE.
[Whooshing, upbeat music plays]
In a flashback, the scoreboard in the gym reads, “Students, 20. Teachers, 19.”
A referee says, AND NOW, SERVING TO WIN THE MATCH FOR THE STUDENTS--
[Jacket thumping]
Clanger drops his jacket on the floor and takes the racquet from the red-haired girl.
Clanger says, GIVE ME THAT!
[Smacking, groaning, slide whistle]
The shuttlecock hits the floor, and the score ties. Clanger misses the shuttlecock, and the teachers take the lead.
Clanger says, AH!
[Smacking, whistle blaring]
The shuttlecock hits the net, and the scoreboard changes to “Students 20, Teachers 22.” The teacher with a ponytail puts her arms up victoriously.
The teacher with a ponytail says, YES!
Clanger shouts, STUPID NET!
[Whooshing, smacking]
Clanger throws his racquet at the gym floor and bounces up and hits his face. Text reads, “Pow.”
Clanger says, OW!
The flashback ends.
[The music ends]
In the present, Mr. Holt says, YES, IF WE HAD LOST THE BADMINTON, THERE'S NO WAY WE COULD HAVE WON THE CRISPY CRISP CUP. BUT IN CAME DARLING CLANGER. YOU KNOW, I THINK YOU'RE MY FAVOURITE STUDENT.
[Upbeat music plays]
Mr. Holt pats Clanger’s shoulder and walks away. A teacher with short blond hair grabs Clanger’s shoulders and shakes him gently.
The blond-haired teacher says, WELL DONE, MATE. YOU WERE AWESOME.
A curly-haired teacher walks past.
The curly-haired teacher says, WE LOVE YOU.
A black-haired teacher says, YOU'RE MY SUPERSTAR.
A teacher with short salt-and-pepper hair squeezes Clanger’s shoulders. Clanger looks at Conor with wide eyes.
The salt-and-pepper-haired teacher says, WELL DONE.
Jim says, YOU'RE THE BEST. I'M A HUGGER.
Jim hugs Clanger. Clanger closes his eyes and grimaces. Jim walks away.
Clanger says, TEACHERS USED TO CALL OFF SICK WHEN I WAS IN THEIR CLASS. NEVER KNEW WHAT I'D DO NEXT. NOW, I'M THEIR FAVOURITE STUDENT.
[Thumping, slide whistle]
Clanger falls to his knees and looks up, lifting his arms.
Clanger shouts, WHAT HAVE I BECOME?
Text reads, “What Have I Become?”
[Upbeat music plays, squeaking, whooshing, cheering]
Title: “High Hoops.”
A basketball hoop hangs beneath the first letter 'O' in 'hoops’, and a basketball falls into it.
[Background chattering, the music stops]
Aoife says, HEY, GUYS! LISTEN UP! OKAY, SO I COULDN'T PERSUADE JIM NOT TO PLAY, BUT FALLBACK PLAN, WE BEAT HIM ON THE COURT AND THEN PRACTICE EVERY MOMENT WE GET UP UNTIL THE MATCH.
Charlotte says, APART FROM NINE TO TEN ON WEDNESDAY.
[Slide whistle, scratching]
In animation, a cactus appears, and a brush scrubs a foot.
Charlotte says, I'VE GOT CACTUS JUICE FOOT SCRUB.
[Aoife retching]
Aoife says, ANYWAY. I'VE GOT SOME IDEAS ON TACTICS THAT SHOULD HELP.
Zara points and says, UM, AOIFE.
Jim enters the gym.
Aoife says, HERE TO SPY ON US, ARE YA?
Jim says, NO, UM. TO ASK HOW DOES YOUR MUM FEEL ABOUT HEIGHTS?
[Upbeat music plays]
Jim continues, SPECIFICALLY, UM, BEING DANGLED FROM DANGEROUS ONES.
Aoife asks, ARE YOU THREATENING MY MOTHER TO GET ME TO THROW THE GAME?
Aoife tells us, BOLD MOVE. I'M ACTUALLY QUITE IMPRESSED.
Jim says, NO! I WANT TO TAKE HER TO THE LOCAL ZIPLINE PARK.
[Brid cheering]
In an animation, a person with a cut-out of Brid’s face slides down a zipline.
Jim says, ON A DATE.
[Charlotte, Zara, and Nyla laughing]
Charlotte says, DATE! YES!
Aoife says, A DATE?
Aoife tells us, AND I THOUGHT THE CACTUS JUICE FOOT SCRUB WAS GROSS.
Aoife asks, WHY?
[Chiming]
In animation, a hot potato floats beside Jim.
Jim says, I THINK SHE'S SMOKING HOT.
[Charlotte, Zara, and Nyla snickering]
Jim continues, LIKE A BURNT POTATO.
[Charlotte, Zara, and Nyla snickering]
Jim asks, SO, WILL YOU ASK HER?
Aoife says, YEAH!
Text reads, “Yes. Yes. Yes.”
Jim says, YES! YES! YES!
[Background giggling]
Jim leaves.
Aoife tells us, AND THE FACT THAT JIM WANTS TO TAKE MY MUM TO A ZIPLINE PARK JUST SHOWS HOW WEIRD HE IS. SHE'LL NEVER EVEN THINK OF DATING HIM.
Later, at home, Brid brushes on blush.
Brid says, I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M GOING ZIPLINING!
Aoife carries her smartphone to Brid.
Aoife says, MUM, YOU CAN'T! LOOK. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN PEOPLE GO ZIPLINING. CRASH INTO A TREE, BROKEN ARM. CRASH INTO A BRIDGE, BROKEN COLLARBONE. CRASH INTO A COW, CONCUSSION. AND THAT WAS JUST THE COW!
Brid says, I'M NOT GOING TO CRASH INTO A COW.
Aoife says, BUT THEN THERE WILL BE NOTHING TO BREAK YOUR FALL.
[Footsteps tapping]
Brid says, I'LL BE FINE!
Aoife shakes her head at us.
Brid says, I LIKE THE IDEA. IT'S DIFFERENT.
Aoife says, MUM, YOU CAN'T. NOBODY DOES IT ON A FIRST DATE. IT'S LIKE EATING EXTRA GARLIC CHEESE FRIES ON A DATE. NOBODY DOES IT!
[Thumping]
Aoife lifts her hands and then drops them at her side.
Brid says, OH, GARLIC CHEESE FRIES! WE ARE TOTALLY GOING FOR THOSE AFTERWARD! DON'T WAIT UP.
Aoife looks at us and shakes her head.
[Upbeat music plays, whooshing]
The Midvale crest spins over students as they walk down a school staircase. In the school library, Zara, Nyla, and Charlotte sit at a table.
A passing student says, WELL DONE, VIPERS!
A girl asks, CAN I GET AN AUTOGRAPH?
A tall boy holds up a smartphone and says, SELFIE, VIPERS.
[Camera shutter snapping]
Charlotte gives a thumbs-up.
Jamie says, YOU'VE GOT THIS, VIPERS!
Aoife walks past Jamie, and they glance back at each other and smile.
Aoife tells us, OH! MUST STAY FOCUSED!
[Thumping, background chattering]
Aoife puts her binder on the table.
Aoife says, MUM HAS BEEN ON TWO DATES WITHIN THE LAST 24 HOURS.
Charlotte says, AW, THAT'S SO SWEET.
Aoife says, NO, IT'S NOT SWEET, CHARLOTTE. IT'S GROSS. WE NEED TO STOP THIS. I THINK I MIGHT KNOW HOW.
[Rustling]
Aoife picks up her binder labelled, “Operation Lethal Man Trap.”
Zara says, OPERATION LETHAL MAN TRAP?
Nyla says, BACK OFF, O'NEILL.
Zara says, OR WE’LL SUE.
Aoife says, WHAT?
Charlotte says, MMM-HMM.
Zara says, WE HEARD JIM'S MISSED THE TEACHERS' LAST TWO TRAINING SESSIONS BECAUSE HE'S BEEN OUT WITH YOUR MUM.
Charlotte says, JIM'S A SMITTEN KITTEN.
[Charlotte growling]
Charlotte curls her fingers and claws the air. Aoife raises her eyebrow and grimaces.
Nyla says, SO, THE BEST THING YOU CAN DO IS NOTHING.
Aoife says, BUT I CAN'T DO THAT!
Zara says, YOU CAN. DO THAT AND WE WIN THE MATCH AND THE STUDENTS WIN THE CUP AND THIS…
[Hands slapping]
A passing student high-fives Zara.
Zara continues, IS OUR LIFE FOREVER.
A blond-haired boy says, GOOD LUCK, VIPERS!
A student says, I LOVE YOU, VIPERS!
Aoife says, THAT DOES SOUND GOOD. AND THEN THERE'S THE JAMIE FACTOR.
Aoife looks at Jamie, who sits at a table alone.
[Sighing]
Aoife says, BUT IF I DON'T STOP MUM AND JIM NOW, I'LL MOST DEFINITELY END UP WEARING A BRIDESMAID DRESS TO THEIR WEDDING.
[Steam whistle blowing]
In animation, steam blows out of Aoife’s ears.
Aoife says, AH!
At Aoife’s house, Jim and Brid sit together at the dining room table and eat.
Jim says, MMM! COMPLIMENTS TO THE CHEF!
[Jim and Brid giggling]
In the kitchen, Aoife stands with her arms crossed. Charlotte sits on the counter, and Nyla and Zara lean on it.
Aoife says, ANY MINUTE NOW, HE'S GONNA TELL HER ANOTHER LAME JOKE AND SHE'S GONNA—
[Aoife fakes laughing]
Aoife says, LAUGH AT IT! AGAIN.
Jim says, HEY, BRID. DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE APPLE PIE THAT HAD TO GO TO THE DENTIST?
Brid smiles and shakes her head.
Jim says, IT NEEDED A FILLING!
[Brid and Jim laughing]
Aoife says, I NEED TO STOP THIS.
Aoife walks forward, and Zara grabs her shoulders.
Zara says, NO! KEEP CALM AND IGNORE THE ADULT CANOODLING.
Aoife says, BUT IT'S MAKING ME FEEL SICK!
[Adults laughing]
Charlotte says, JUST THINK OF THE CRISPY CRISP CUP. I'M STICKING TO THAT.
Brid says, OH, JIM! YOU MAKE ME SMILE!
[Giggling, upbeat music plays]
Brid says, AND YOU MAKE ME, WELL-- YOU MAKE ME FEEL SOMETHING I HAVEN'T FELT FOR—
[Hearts wobbling]
Brid reaches across the table and holds Jim’s hand. Red and white hearts float around them. They both stand and lean across the table towards each other. Jim closes his eyes and puckers his lips.
[Horn honking]
In animation, a horn appears beside Aoife. She runs into the dining room.
Aoife says, WHOA! STOP! STOP! STOP! DISGUSTING! PLEASE, STOP!
[Dishes clanking]
Brid and Jim sit down.
Aoife says, THIS WOMAN, FIRST THING SHE DOES IN THE MORNING IS BURP AND THEN LAST THING AT NIGHT SAY, "TIME FOR BED, ZIBBIDY."
Aoife says, AS FOR HIM, WELL, HE NAMES HIS NASAL HAIRS. AND I ONCE SAW HIM EAT A CHOCOLATE BAR WITH A KNIFE AND FORK.
Brid and Jim smile at each other.
Aoife asks, STILL WANT TO SMOOCH?
Brid says, WELL, YES! I DON'T MIND THAT JIM ISN'T YOUR TYPICAL MAN. I ACTUALLY FIND IT ENDEARING.
Jim nods.
Brid says, BUT IT'S OBVIOUS YOU HAVE A REAL PROBLEM WITH US DATING, SO FOR THAT REASON, IF YOU REALLY WANT US TO STOP SEEING EACH OTHER, WE WILL. IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?
Aoife says, YES! GREAT!
[Footsteps thumping]
Brid and Jim stare at each other across the table. Aoife turns, and Zara stands with her hands on her hips, shaking her head.
Aoife says, UM.
[Upbeat music plays]
Night turns into day. In Conor’s room, Clanger stares into the distance, and Conor snaps his fingers in front of him.
Conor says, YOU'VE GOT TO SNAP OUT OF THIS IF WE'RE GOING TO STOP AOIFE.
Clanger says, IT'S NOT ABOUT AOIFE NOW. I DON'T KNOW WHO I AM ANYMORE. DON'T YOU SEE? A TEACHER HUGGED ME.
Conor says, YOU'RE STILL YOU. KING CLANG. THE GUY WHO DRILLED A HOLE IN THE FLOOR IN D.T. MADE MR. JOHNSON SO ANGRY, HE PUNCHED A CHAIR!
Clanger says, HOLT SAYS I'M HIS FAVOURITE STUDENT.
[Conor sighing]
Clanger wraps himself in a blanket. Polka dots move across the screen. In the kitchen, Brid stands beside her smartphone, gazing at an incense stick.
On the phone, a motivational speaker says, FROM THE DEPTHS OF SORROW, THE WAY AHEAD CAN SEEM CLOUDED BY DARK MISERY. YET WE CAN STILL FIND—
Clanger, wrapped in the blanket, walks beside Conor to the kitchen.
Conor says, HEY, MUM. CAN YOU TALK TO CLANGER? GIVE HIM ONE OF YOUR TRADEMARK INSPIRATIONAL PEP TALKS.
Conor stares at Brid as she walks around the kitchen.
On the phone, the motivational speaker says, MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER: SO, GO FORTH. FIND YOUR JOY. YOU MAY NEED TO LOOK WHERE OTHERS MAY NOT. SEEK IT IN THE CREVICES OF YOUR SOUL.
[Phone ringing]
Conor takes out his smartphone.
Conor asks, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MUM?
At school, Aoife says, I'VE DONE NOTHING. NOTHING AT ALL.
At home, Brid wipes a counter with a feather duster. Conor looks down at Brid’s smartphone screen.
Conor says, SHE'S BURNING INCENSE AND CLEANING. SHE'S LISTENING TO "EAT, DESPAIR, CRY."
[Aoife sighing, door creaking]
Aoife tells us, I'M JUST AT SCHOOL A COUPLE HOURS BEFORE IT STARTS BECAUSE THAT'S HOW MUCH I LIKE SCHOOL. NOT BECAUSE I JUST NEED TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE BECAUSE MY VERY SAD MOTHER IS BEING SAD. DEFINITELY NOT THAT.
[Basketballs thumping]
Aoife enters the gym, where Zara, Charlotte, and Nyla are dribbling basketballs.
Aoife says, AH! DON'T HIT ME!
[Harmonica music plays]
Nyla says, NO NEED. HAVE YOU SEEN JIM?
Aoife says, UH, YEAH. LAST NIGHT WHEN I PUT AN END TO THOSE ROMANTIC CANOODLING. YOU WERE THERE.
Zara says, WE CAME TO DO SOME EARLY PRACTICE AND WE FOUND THIS.
[Harmonica music plays]
Jim sits on the floor in the corner of the gym, playing a harmonica. Basketballs lie on the floor around him.
Nyla says, WATCH. HEY, JIM! CATCH!
[Ball thumping, harmonica music plays]
Nyla bounces a basketball to Jim, and he ignores it.
Zara says, JIM, TRY THIS ONE.
[Whooshing, thumping]
Zara throws a basketball, and it bounces off a bag beside Jim.
Charlotte says, YEAH, I'M NOT GOING TO DO IT BECAUSE I JUST DID MY NAILS, BUT YOU GET THE PICTURE.
[Harmonica music plays]
Jim sings, I WILL NEVER PLAY BALL AGAIN WHILE PINING FOR MY TRUE LOVE.
Aoife looks at us.
Nyla says, YOU BROKE HIM. WE'RE TOTALLY GOING TO WIN THE CUP.
[Harmonica music plays, Charlotte giggling, hands slapping, upbeat music plays]
Aoife tilts her head to the side and looks at Jim. Behind her, Nyla, Charlotte, and Zara high-five. Clouds drift over the city, and day turns to night.
[Door clicking, creaking]
At night, Conor enters Aoife’s bedroom, wearing a white lacy sheet over his head and holding a flashlight under his chin.
In a ghostly voice, Conor says, AOIFE! AOIFE!
[Upbeat music plays]
In her bed, Aoife narrows her eyes.
Conor says, GEEZ! WAKE UP!
Aoife says, AH! NAN?
In the ghostly voice, Conor says, NO! I AM THE SPIRIT OF LOVE LOST. BRID DESERVES HAPPINESS. PLUS, WHEN SHE'S IN GOOD FORM, SHE'S THERE TO MOTIVATE HER SON'S FRIENDS. GIVE THEM A GOOD KICK UP THE ASTRAL PLANE.
[Aoife sighing, lamp clicking]
Aoife turns on the lamp on her nightstand.
Aoife says, CONOR! MUM'S NIGHTIE? WHY?
Conor lifts the sheet. He wears a white lacy nightgown.
Conor says, WELL, THE SUPERNATURAL IS THE ONLY WAY TO GET TO YOU.
Aoife says, FAIR. OKAY, SO I WAS SELFISH. NOW, GET OUT.
In a ghostly voice, Conor says, OOH!
[Door clicking]
Conor leaves and closes the door.
[Door clicking]
Conor opens the door and pulls the edge of the sheet away from the door frame.
In a ghostly voice, Conor says, OOH!
[Aoife sighing]
Aoife lies down, hugging a stuffed toy.
Aoife asks us, SO, DO I DO THE RIGHT THING AND GIVE MY MUM AND JIM MY BLESSING?
[Retching]
Aoife asks us, OR DO NOTHING AND GIVE THE VIPERS THEIR BEST CHANCE AT VICTORY?
[Lively music plays, whooshing, whistling]
Night turns into day, and the Midvale school crest appears over students walking up a staircase in school. In the school gym, students hold signs. Aoife, Nyla, and Charlotte sit on a bench beside the basketball court, and Zara stands in front of the cup displayed courtside. Text reads, “Crispy Cup Final. Students versus teachers.”
The crowd chants, THEY BOUNCE, THEY HISS. THEY'RE ABOUT TO GET THE CRISPY CRISP CUP. CRISPY CUP! THEY BOUNCE, THEY HISS.
A referee tells the Vipers, FIVE MINUTES.
The crowd chants, THEY'RE ABOUT TO GET THE CRISPY CRISP CUP.
Zara says, WE'VE GOT THIS. NOW'S OUR TIME TO FLEX.
[Crowd cheering]
Zara flexes her biceps.
Zara says, AOIFE, FLEX WITH ME.
Aoife says, NAH, I MIGHT NOT.
Mr. Holt enters the gym.
Nyla asks, DID I MISS SOMETHING?
The crowd chants, THEY BOUNCE, THEY HISS.
[Thumping]
Jim puts down his bag and sits beside Mr. Holt on the court.
Nyla asks, WHY IS JIM BACK ON THEIR TEAM?
Aoife says, GOSH! HOW UNEXPECTED. I WONDER HOW THIS HAS COME TO BE.
Aoife tells us, I MIGHT HAVE MADE A FEW CALLS.
[Buzzing, lively music continues]
In a flashback, Aoife holds her smartphone. Jim and Brid each smile on one-half of a broken heart. The halves fuse, and Aoife smiles.
On the bench, Aoife says, FALLBACK PLAN, REMEMBER? WE BEAT THEM ON THE COURT. WE CAN DO THIS.
The crowd chants, WE'RE ABOUT TO GET THE CRISPY CRISP CUP! CRISPY CUP!
In the hallway, Clanger walks beside Conor, still wrapped in the blanket.
Clanger says, I'M HIS FAVOURITE STUDENT.
Conor says, MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST MAKE THE BEST OF THIS. SUPPORT THE GIRLS?
[Clanger grunting, pom poms rustling, Conor sighing]
Conor waves blue and purple pom poms at Clanger.
Conor says, YOU KNOW, IF AOIFE WINS, WE DO GET A DAY OFF SCHOOL.
Clanger says, NO! NO! I CAN'T. I NEED TO FIND MY JOY! LIKE YOUR MUM'S "EAT, CRY, DESPAIR" TAPE SET. IT'S THE ONLY WAY BACK TO MYSELF!
[Footsteps running]
Clanger drops the blanket and runs down the hallway.
Conor asks, HOW ARE YOU GOING TO DO THAT? CLANGER!
[Door banging, Clanger shouting]
Clanger pushes a door open and runs into a different hallway.
[Crowd cheering, upbeat music plays, ball thumping, whooshing, net rattling]
On the court, Jim dribbles the ball. He points two fingers at his eyes and two fingers at Charlotte and Aoife. He shoots a basket.
Mr. Holt shouts, YES!
[Teachers cheering, clicking, ball thumping, whooshing, net rattling]
With four minutes and 56 seconds left, the scoreboard reads, “Students, 14. Teachers, 15.” Jim scores again, and the score for the teachers changes to 16.
Mr. Holt shouts, YES! YES!
[Sneakers squeaking, ball thumping, whooshing, net rattling]
Jim scores again.
Mr. Holt shouts, YES!
Nyla says, COME ON! THE TEACHERS ARE WIPING THE FLOOR WITH US. GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME.
[Teachers cheering, clicking, ball thumping, whooshing, clicking]
The score changes to “Students, 14. Teachers, 17.” Aoife scores, and Jamie stands in the audience. The score increases to 15 for the students.
Charlotte says, COME ON, AOIFE! HEAD UP!
[Thumping, whooshing, cheering]
Charlotte dribbles the ball. She passes it to Zara, who passes it to Aoife. Aoife scores.
Mr. Holt says, OH, REFEREE!
[Cheering, crowd cheering, clicking, sneakers squeaking, ball thumping, whooshing, hoop rattling, clicking]
With two minutes and 44 seconds left, the score reads, “Students, 16. Teachers, 17.” Aoife scores another basket, and the game is tied with one minute and 57 seconds left. Aoife sinks another basket, and Charlotte hugs her. Mr. Holt lies down across chairs beside the wall.
Zara says, THAT'S MORE LIKE IT, AOIFE!
[Whistle blowing, clicking]
The score changes, and the students lead 18 to 17.
The crowd chants, AOIFE! AOIFE! AOIFE!
Charlotte says, THEY'RE SHOUTING OUR NAMES AND IT'S NOT IN A RUDE WAY! IT'S SO NICE.
The crowd chants, CHARLOTTE! CHARLOTTE!
Zara says, WELCOME TO OUR NEW LIFE AS QUEENS OF THE SCHOOL.
Nyla says, WE WILL RULE WISELY AND WELL. UNLESS THEY CROSS US. THEN DEATH.
The crowd chants, NYLA! NYLA!
[Crowd cheering, upbeat music plays]
The Vipers wipe their faces with towels. Nyla waves at the crowd. Aoife smiles at Jaime. Jessica holds a sign that reads, “Vipers to win.” She flips the sign, and it reads, “Or Else!”
[The music stops]
Aoife tells us, THIS IS DEFINITELY GOING TO BE OKAY. RIGHT?
[Thumping, whistle blowing, upbeat music plays]
The teachers score another basket with one minute and 13 seconds left, tying the score.
Mr. Holt shouts, YAY!
[Teachers cheering, clicking, thumping, whooshing, thumping]
Jim scores. With 58 seconds left, the score reads, “Students, 18. Teachers, 19.” Aoife passes the basketball to Zara.
Mr. Holt says, WHAT!
[Crowd cheering, clicking]
Zara scores and ties the game.
Mr. Holt says, NO!
[Ball thumping]
Courtside, Mr. Holt watches with his hands on his hips.
Mr. Holt says, COME ON!
Aoife catches a rebound.
Mr. Holt holds his head and says, OOH!
[Timer ticking, whooshing, Zara screaming, upbeat music plays]
Ten seconds are left on the clock. The clock counts down to four seconds, and Aoife shoots the ball. The crowd stands. The lights in the gym turn red.
Charlotte asks, WHAT'S GOING ON?
Jim says, SOMEONE'S BLOWN THE LECKY.
[Water dripping]
Charlotte holds out her hand.
She says, IT'S RAINING.
Nyla says, INSIDE?
[Aoife groaning]
In a bathroom, Clanger holds a wrench.
He cheers, YES! YES!
[Water dripping, door creaking]
Mr. Holt enters the bathroom, with Conor walking behind him.
Mr. Holt says, YOU FLOODED THE TOILET. WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS?
Mr. Holt shouts, YOU STUPID, MINDLESS, DESTRUCTIVE IDIOT! THAT'S DETENTION FOR LIFE!
[Water dripping]
Mr. Holt leaves the bathroom.
Clanger says, DON'T EVEN CARE! I'M BACK, BABY!
Conor says, YOU DID IT. YOU FOUND YOUR JOY! OH, CLANGER!
Clanger and Conor hug. Mr. Holt enters the gym with a flashlight.
Mr. Holt says, RIGHT. SOME IDIOT HAS FLOODED THE TOILETS, SO WE'LL HAVE TO ABANDON THE GAME AS A DRAW.
Aoife says, NO WAY!
Aoife tells us, ACTUALLY, THINKING ABOUT IT.
[Tape rewinding, whooshing, upbeat music plays, whooshing, cheering, camera shutter snapping]
In a flashback, Nyla puts a picture of a ball of yarn in the teacher column on the teacher-student scoreboard. Text reads, “Students versus teachers.” In another flashback, Aoife sinks a basket. Text reads, “Heroes.” In a photograph beside the cup, Charlotte hugs Aoife. Text reads, “Crispy Crisp Cup.”
Aoife narrates, TEACHERS VERSUS STUDENTS WEEK WAS A GREAT CHANCE FOR THE VIPERS TO BE HEROES AND GO DOWN IN SCHOOL HISTORY AND WIN THE CRISPY CRISP CUP.
[Heart shattering]
In an animation, a heart appears beside Aoife, and it breaks.
Aoife tells us, AND THEN DYLAN LEFT. SADNESS. BUT I THINK I MIGHT BE SLIGHTLY IN LOVE WITH…
In a flashback, hearts appear around Jamie.
In a flashback, Aoife says, JAMIE.
In another flashback, Jim throws a basketball behind him and sinks a basket.
Aoife tells us, YAY! AND THEN MY BASKETBALL COACH, WHO IS UNEXPECTEDLY GOOD AT BASKETBALL, AND REALLY UNEXPECTEDLY ATTRACTED TO MY MUM.
[Whooshing]
In a flashback, photographs show Brid and Jim holding hands across the table. She leans towards him and he closes his eyes and purses his lips. Text reads, “Woah! Woah! Stop!” In the flashback, Aoife runs to the table.
Aoife says, WHOA! STOP! STOP! STOP!
[Heart shattering]
In the kitchen, Zara shakes her head. A stop sign appears by Nyla and Charlotte. Jim and Brid’s photographs appear in a heart, and it breaks.
Aoife tells us, I SOON PUT A STOP TO THAT, BUT THEN JIM LOST HIS MOJO.
[Hearts popping]
In a flashback, Jim sits on the gym floor playing his harmonica. Brid walks around her kitchen sadly. In animation, hearts break around her.
Aoife tells us, MUM WAS SAD TOO.
[Whooshing, cheering]
In a flashback, the two halves of the broken heart with Jim and Brid’s photographs join. Aoife smiles. In another flashback, Jim sinks a basketball in the game.
Aoife tells us, I GOT THEM BACK TOGETHER, BUT NOW JIM'S TOP BALLER SKILLS ARE BACK AGAIN AS WELL.
The flashback ends.
In the gym, Aoife tells us, SO, A PLAIN DRAW DOESN'T SOUND SO BAD.
Aoife says, FAIR ENOUGH.
Zara says, AOIFE, NO!
Aoife tells us, THINK. WE DIDN'T WIN THE GAME SO NO DAY OFF. BUT WE DIDN'T LOSE THE GAME, SO NO CLEANING UP.
[Background chattering]
Mr. Holt says, UM, NO. WHAT WAS IT YOU SAID?
Imitating Aoife, Mr. Holt says, "HOWS ABOUT IF THE STUDENTS WIN THE CUP, WE ALL GET A DAY OFF SCHOOL."
Zara says, OH, NO.
Aoife says, YEAH, THAT IS A TERRIBLE IMPRESSION OF ME.
Aoife notices Zara, Nyla, and Charlotte staring at her.
Aoife says, WHAT?
Zara says, WHEN YOU MADE THE DEAL, YOU SAID, "THE CUP," NOT "THE GAME."
Aoife says, YEAH, SO. IF NOBODY WINS THE GAME, THE CUP'S A DRAW TOO.
Zara says, YEAH, BUT AS DEFENDING CHAMPIONS, IN THE EVENT OF A DRAW, THE TEACHERS RETAIN THE CRISPY CRISP CUP. THEN WIN IT.
Aoife says, OH.
[Upbeat music plays, teachers cheering]
Jim jumps excitedly with his arms in the air.
Jim says, YES! YES! YES! YES!
[Teachers cheering]
Jim runs to the cup and picks it up, and the teachers jump excitedly. In animation, confetti falls around the teachers.
Jim says, IN YOUR FACE!
[Teachers cheering]
Mr. Holt says, SO, YOU WILL BE CLEANING THE SCHOOL ON FRIDAY NIGHT, AND I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE YOU CAN START.
[Water splashing]
In the school bathroom, a sponge bounces off Aoife’s head.
Nyla says, BOO!
[Water splashing]
Charlotte throws a sponge at Aoife.
Charlotte shouts, BOO!
Nyla, Charlotte, and Zara shout, BOO!
[Water splashing]
Sponges hit Aoife, and her bottom lip sticks out.
[Upbeat music plays, thumping]
Singers sing, DOO, DOO, DOO, DOO, DOO, DOO, DOO, DOO.
In an animation, a basketball bounces off a net. The ball lands in the basket. A second ball bounces off the rim of the net. A basketball falls into the net.
End credits. Cast in order of appearance: Aoife, Darci Hull. Nyla, Frankie-Jae Simmonds. Charlotte, Ella Bernstein. Zara, Isha Kaur Athwal. Jessica, Bea Ward. Jim, Nigel Boyle. Conor, Arthur Kay. Clanger, Dylan Lakhanpaul. Jamie, Joseph Nicholas. Brid, Isy Suttie. Special thanks Calderdale College. Executive Producer for B.B.C., Anita Burgess, Melissa Hardinge. Executive Producer, Rebecca Papworth. Logos: Can Can Productions Limited for B.B.C. Copyright Can Can Productions 2024. Filmed in West Yorkshire. Logo: A.P.C. Kids.
A drawing features Midvale school posters taped to double doors. In live-action, Aoife throws the doors open. She stands in a school hallway lined with lockers on each side. Aoife has her long blonde hair in pigtails and wears a blue basketball jersey with the Midvale Vipers logo on the front. Text reads, “Phew.” In a drawing of a gymnasium filled with people on the bleachers, live-action Zara points at her watch while Nyla throws a basketball to Aoife. Zara has her long black hair in a ponytail, and Nyla’s brown hair is in two braids. Both wear their Vipers jerseys. Aoife catches the basketball and spins it on her finger. In an animation, a water balloon hits Aoife, and text reads, “Sploosh!” In the bleachers, Conor, who has short brown hair, holds a water balloon. Clanger sits beside him and points. He has short, dark brown hair. The head teacher, Mr. Holt, arrives and text reads, “Woah.” Mr. Holt has short blond hair and a moustache. Charlotte points a hair dryer at Aoife, and her pigtails fly up in the air. Charlotte wears her brown hair in a bun. Text reads, “Wooosh!” Aoife dribbles the ball and trips. Text reads, “Epic Fail.”
Singers sing, DOOT, DOOT, DOO, DOO, DOOT, DOOT, DOO, DOOT.
Title: “High Hoops.”
B.B.C. Created by Sinéad Fagan. Written by Julia Kent.
[Splatting, upbeat music plays]
In a bathroom, a wet sponge hits Aoife’s head.
Nyla, Charlotte, and Zara shout, BOO!
Aoife tells us, THE TRUTH IS I TOTALLY DESERVE THIS!
Charlotte shouts, BOO!
[Splatting]
Charlotte throws a wet sponge at Aoife.
Aoife tells us, LET ME TELL YOU—
Zara shouts, BOO!
Zara throws a wet sponge at Aoife.
Aoife tells us, LET ME TELL YOU—
[Splatting]
A sponge hits Aoife.
Aoife tells us, BUT LET ME TELL YOU WHY!
[Tape rewinding, footsteps pattering, light music plays]
In the school yard, Zara, Aoife, Nyla, and Charlotte walk towards the school.
Aoife says, STUDENTS VERSUS TEACHERS WEEK? IS THAT EVEN A REAL THING?
Jim and a group of teachers run past. Director, Tim Hopewell. Producer Dominique Molloy. With Robert Webb as Mr. Holt.
Jim says, COMING OUT! COMING OUT!
The teachers shout, IT'S COMING OUT! IT'S COMING OUT!
Zara says, STUDENTS VERSUS TEACHERS IS VERY REAL. A WHOLE WEEK WHERE MIDVALE TEACHERS AND STUDENTS GO HEAD-TO-HEAD COMPETING FOR THE CRISPY CRISP CUP.
A golden cup overflowing with golden leaves appears on a pedestal.
Aoife says, OOH! SHINY!
Charlotte says, TACKY YET DESIRABLE. LIKE VERSACE!
Zara says, THE STUDENTS HAVE NEVER WON IT.
Aoife says, WHAT? WHY?
Nyla says, BECAUSE THE TEACHERS ALWAYS STACK THE ODDS IN THEIR FAVOUR.
[Whooshing, upbeat music plays]
Polka dots move across the screen. In a flashback, a teacher with chin-length brown hair and Jessica sit across from each other at a table. Mr. Holt stands beside a whiteboard.
Mr. Holt says, AND THE TOPIC FOR THE TEACHERS VERSUS STUDENTS QUIZ WILL BE—
Mr. Holt flips the whiteboard. A bright orange line outlines the text, which reads, “Advanced Thermodynamics.”
He continues, ADVANCED THERMODYNAMICS!
The teacher with chin-length hair lifts her arm and cheers, YAY!
[Jessica groaning]
In another flashback, Jim stands in the gym.
Jim says, LET THE ARM WRESTLING COMMENCE.
[Students cheering, knuckles cracking]
A short-haired boy looks up at a man with a shaved head who cracks his knuckles.
The short-haired boy thinks, WHAT! THAT'S NOT FAIR!
[Knuckles cracking, student gulping]
The short-haired boy looks up at the man with the shaved head, who smiles. Jim nods and smirks. In another flashback, Charlotte and a bearded teacher sit behind easels in the art classroom. Mr. Holt stands behind them.
Mr. Holt says, AND THE SPEED COLOURING IN CHALLENGE STARTS IN THREE, TWO, ONE.
[Whistle blowing]
Charlotte fills in a picture of the Mona Lisa. The bearded teacher holds up a finished picture of an orange cat.
[Whistle blowing]
Charlotte says, WHAT!
[Charlotte groaning, chiming]
The flashback ends. In the school hallway, Aoife, Charlotte, Nyla, and Zara look at the gleaming cup.
Aoife says, THAT'S AWFUL. SO UNFAIR!
Aoife tells us, IF I WAS A TEACHER, TOTALLY WHAT I WOULD DO.
[Backpack thumping]
Zara walks to a scoreboard with two columns beside the cup and puts down her backpack. The teacher column has five events, and the student column has five events. The bottom row features a picture of a basketball in the middle.
Zara says, IT ISN'T FAIR, BUT THIS MORNING THE STUDENTS WON FOR CROSSWORDS, FOR CROSS-COUNTRY, AND THE CROSS STITCH.
[Beeping, background chattering]
Charlotte says, WE NEVER WIN THOSE! DO YOU SEE WHAT THAT MEANS?
Aoife says, THAT THERE ARE WAY MORE EVENTS BEGINNING WITH "CROSS" THAN YOU'D THINK.
Zara says, IT MEANS THAT IF EVERYTHING GOES HOW IT NORMALLY DOES.
[Rustling, chiming]
Nyla adds event pictures to the teacher’s column.
Nyla says, FOOTBALL, BADMINTON, KNITTING. WARFARE ON THE WATERS TO THEM. WELLY WAG, WORD SEARCH, HIGH JUMP, AND CUSTARD SWIM TO US.
Zara says, IF THIS HAPPENS, THEN—
[Charlotte imitating a drum roll, rim shot plays]
Zara says, THE CRISPY CRISP CUP IS DECIDED BY THE TEACHERS VERSUS STUDENTS BASKETBALL MATCH.
[Whooshing, Charlotte inhaling deeply]
Nyla picks up the basketball event picture and gives it to Zara.
Zara says, WE USUALLY GET DESTROYED.
Charlotte says, BUT THIS YEAR WE'RE A MUCH BETTER TEAM. ALL BECAUSE OF YOU.
Charlotte wipes away a tear.
Aoife says, AW! NOT ALL BECAUSE OF ME!
Zara says, NO, NOT ALL BECAUSE OF HER.
Aoife tells us, DEFINITELY HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH IT THOUGH.
Zara says, FOR WHATEVER REASON, OUR TEAM WILL FINALLY BE THE ONES TO BRING HOME THE CRISPY CRISP CUP.
[Epic music plays]
The cup gleams.
[Upbeat music plays]
Charlotte says, WE'LL GO DOWN IN SCHOOL HISTORY!
Nyla says, WE'D BE HEROES!
Aoife says, REALLY POPULAR ONES, BECAUSE OF ME. AGAIN, NOT ALL BECAUSE OF ME.
Nyla and Zara look at each other. Aoife smiles at us.
Aoife says, THIS IS HUGE!
Zara says, OF COURSE, IF THE FOOTBALL TEAM WIN THEIR MATCH, IT WON'T MATTER WHAT WE DO.
Aoife says, OH.
[Whooshing, cheering]
On the playing field, Conor and Clanger walk together. Behind them, a group of teachers jumps excitedly.
Conor says, 23-NIL.
[Teachers cheering]
Conor says, WE JUST LOST 23-NIL. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!
A teacher shouts, YES!
[Footsteps running, rustling]
Aoife runs up behind Conor and Clanger and puts her arms around their shoulders.
Aoife says, AW! JUST HEARD THE NEWS. LOSING TO THE TEACHERS LIKE THAT. YOU MUST BE SO EMBARRASSED. WELL, JUST LOOKS LIKE THE VIPERS ARE GONNA HAVE TO KICK SOME TEACHER BUTT INSTEAD! BECAUSE YOU GUYS CERTAINLY AREN'T UP TO IT. LOSERS!
Aoife runs away.
Clanger says, IF YOUR SISTER BRINGS HOME THE CRISPY CRISP CUP, I'LL—
Conor says, THE GLOATING. SHE'S BAD ENOUGH WHEN SHE JUST WINS AT BREAKFAST.
[Upbeat music plays, toast rustling]
In a flashback, Aoife grabs two pieces of toast as they pop out of the toaster.
Aoife says, HA! IN YOUR FACE! IN YOUR ACTUAL FACE! LOSER!
Aoife makes an “L” on her forehead with her fingers. The flashback ends.
[The music ends]
On the field, Clanger says, STUPID AOIFE CANNOT WIN THAT CUP.
Conor asks, BUT WHAT CAN WE DO TO STOP HER?
[Upbeat music plays, whooshing]
Title: “High Hoops.”
A basketball hoop hangs beneath the first letter 'O' in 'hoops’, and a basketball falls into it.
[Sneakers squeaking]
In the gym, Aoife sits alone, looking down. Zara and Charlotte enter.
Charlotte asks, WHATCHA DOING?
Aoife says, I WAS JUST CHECKING THE COMPETITION.
[Girls giggling, basketball thumping]
A grey-haired teacher dribbles the ball, and it bounces up, hitting her face. Nyla stands beside Charlotte with her arms crossed. Aoife holds her smartphone.
Aoife says, BUT THEN I GOT A MESSAGE FROM DYLAN SAYING HE'S MOVING AWAY.
Zara says, OH, YEAH. HIS MUM GOT A NEW JOB.
[Hands thumping]
Aoife drops her hands to her sides.
Aoife says, THIS IS THE WORST NEWS EVER! I MEAN, I'M NEVER GOING TO LOVE AGAIN!
[Door clicking, upbeat music plays]
A teenage boy walks into the gym holding a basketball. He has dark brown hair and wears a red basketball jersey.
Aoife says, WAIT. WHO'S THAT GUY?
Charlotte says, THAT'S JAMIE. YOU CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH—
[Hearts bubbling]
Red and white hearts appear around Aoife. Jamie smiles at Aoife, and a red heart forms around him.
Aoife says, JAMIE.
Nyla waves her hand in front of Aoife’s face.
Nyla says, YOO-HOO. TOO LATE.
[Hearts bubbling, Zara clapping]
Zara claps her hands beside Aoife’s head.
Zara says, HE'S JESSICA'S EX.
Aoife says, AND HE'S A BALLER! WAIT. I THOUGHT DYLAN WAS JESSICA'S EX.
[Sneakers squeaking]
Nyla says, JAMIE'S JESSICA'S EX FROM KINDERGARTEN.
Zara says, ANYWAYS, CAN WE FOCUS ON THE GAME, PLEASE?
Aoife says, THERE'S LITERALLY NOTHING TO SEE.
Nyla says, JIM'S PLAYING FOR THE TEACHERS?
[Basketballs thumping, sneakers squeaking]
Jim sits on a chair by the basketball court and stretches.
Charlotte says, WELL, HE IS A TEACHER.
Zara says, HE'S ALSO OUR COACH!
Zara shouts, TRAITOR!
Aoife says, CHILL. NONE OF THEM HAVE ANY SKILLS WHATSOEVER.
[Energetic music plays, ball thumping, hands clapping]
Mr. Holt bounces the ball and practices his footwork. He passes the ball to another teacher. He claps his hands over his head.
Zara shouts, WOULDN'T CLAP THAT, SIR.
[Zara and Charlotte giggling, energetic music continues]
Jim throws the ball to Mr. Holt, and he misses it. Mr. Holt kicks the basketball.
Aoife says, IT'S ACTUALLY A BIT OF A SHAME THERE'S NOT MORE RIDING ON THIS MATCH BECAUSE WE'RE ACTUALLY SO WINNING IT. WAIT. BRILLIANT IDEA. SIR!
[Footsteps pattering]
Mr. Holt walks to Aoife, Nyla, Charlotte, and Zara.
Aoife says, MR. HOLT, SIR. THIS MATCH ON FRIDAY. FANCY MAKING IT A BIT MORE INTERESTING?
Mr. Holt asks, WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?
Aoife tells us, I'M NOT REALLY. I'M JUST MAKING THIS ALL UP AS I GO ALONG.
Aoife replies, WHAT ABOUT IF THE STUDENTS WIN THE CUP, THEN WE GET A DAY OFF OF SCHOOL.
Mr. Holt says, A. YOU WON'T. AND B. WHY WOULD I AGREE TO THAT?
Aoife says, BECAUSE IF YOU WIN THE CUP, THEN ON FRIDAY, WE'LL STAY AFTER SCHOOL AND CLEAN UP THE MESS.
[Whooshing, thumping]
Mr. Holt paces as Jim walks onto the court behind Aoife. He watches Jim sink a basket.
Charlotte says, UM. AOIFE.
[Thumping]
Behind Aoife, Jim sinks another basket.
Mr. Holt says, DEAL.
[Hand slapping]
Mr. Holt smiles and puts out his hand. Aoife shakes it, and Charlotte face palms.
Zara says, NO! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. BAD IDEA!
[Sneaker squeaking, whooshing, thumping]
Jim sinks another basket.
Aoife says, IT'S A GREAT IDEA! WE'LL WIN, EVERYONE WILL ADORE US, INCLUDING JAMIE.
Nyla says, LOOK.
[Smooching, whooshing, banging]
With his back to the net, Jim kisses the basketball, throws it, and scores a basket.
Aoife says, OH.
Zara says, AOIFE, IF WE LOSE AND EVERYBODY HAS TO STAY BEHIND ON FRIDAY, THE WHOLE SCHOOL WON'T LOVE US, THEY'LL HATE US.
Aoife tells us, IT'S LIKE SHE THINKS I DON'T KNOW A BAD SITUATION WHEN I SEE ONE.
Aoife says, IT'S FINE! I'LL SORT IT!
[Mr. Holt laughing loudly, footsteps thumping]
A sign on a door reads, “Mr. Holt. Headmaster.” In the hallway outside the office, Charlotte, Zara, and Nyla lean against a banister. Aoife leaves the office and walks to her friends.
Aoife says, OKAY, SO UNEXPECTEDLY, HOLT HELD US TO THE BAD DEAL.
[Background chattering]
Zara asks, WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
Charlotte replies, CHANGE SCHOOLS, OBVS.
Aoife says, NO, DON'T WORRY. I HAVE A PLAN. I'VE INVITED JIM AROUND TO MY HOUSE.
Nyla says, WE CAN LOCK HIM IN YOUR CELLAR AND IF ANYONE ASKS, WE HAVEN'T SEEN HIM. I LOVE IT.
Aoife says, NO. WE PLY HIM WITH MALLOW BISCUITS. HIS FAVOURITE! AND REMIND HIM THAT HE'S OUR COACH AND SHOULDN'T BE PLAYING WITH THE TEACHERS. PLAN? THAT'S UNLESS YOU HAVE ANY BETTER IDEAS. THAT ARE LEGAL.
[Upbeat music plays]
Nyla, Zara, and Charlotte say, PLAN!
They put their fists together and open their hands as they pull away.
[Upbeat music continues]
Later at Aoife’s house, Charlotte, Aoife, and Nyla sit at a table with mallow biscuits on a three-tiered serving dish. Behind them, Zara paces.
Nyla asks, HOW LATE IS JIM NOW?
Charlotte replies, WAY BEYOND FASHIONABLE.
Zara says, MAYBE HE WAS COMING, BUT HE HAD A TERRIBLE ACCIDENT.
Nyla says, HERE'S HOPING.
Aoife picks up the three-tiered serving dish.
Aoife says, LET'S GO FIND HIM. I'VE GOT THE JAM PUFFS. FOLLOW ME!
[Door creaking, stomping]
Aoife says, WHAT?
[Wrench cranking]
Jim kneels on the driveway beside Brid’s Volkswagen van and smiles up at Brid.
Jim says, JUST TIGHTEN THAT LAST LUG NUT.
[Jim chuckling, birds chirping]
Brid says, YOU'RE MY HERO.
[Jim chuckling, wrench clanking]
Aoife says, JIM!
[Rustling]
Jim stands with a grease smudge on his cheek.
Jim says, OH, AOIFE! DID I MISS YOUR LITTLE TEA PARTY?
[Birds chirping]
Aoife says, MALLOW BISCUIT PARTY! IN YOUR HONOUR!
[Upbeat music plays]
Jim says, OH, SORRY. I GOT SIDETRACKED BY THIS-- LOVELY LADY. LIKE A WILDEBEEST BEING CHASED BY WOLVES. STOPPING TO ADMIRE SOME SWEET, STALKY GRASS.
Aoife arches an eyebrow.
Brid asks, DOES THAT MAKE ME THE GRASS?
Jim replies, YEAH.
[Jim chuckling, Brid laughing]
Aoife tells us, JIM'S NOT THAT FUNNY. HE'S NOT FUNNY AT ALL.
[Jim and Brid laughing]
Brid and Jim gently shove each other’s shoulders.
Jim says, GET OFF!
Brid says, YOU GET OFF!
[Background Jim and Brid laughing, video game chiming]
In his bedroom, Conor says, RIGHT. I'VE GOT AN IDEA ON HOW TO STOP AOIFE.
[Controller clattering, chiming]
Conor picks up a controller and exits a video game on his desktop computer. He brings up the teacher-student scoreboard. Clanger drops his controller on the desk and lifts his hands.
Conor says, SO, THE STUDENTS ALWAYS LOSE KNITTING, BADMINTON, AND WARFARE ON THE WATERS.
Clanger says, RIGHT.
[Upbeat music plays]
Conor says, SO, WE WIN ONE OF THOSE EVENTS, NO ONE WILL CARE ABOUT AOIFE'S GAME. THE STUDENTS WILL HAVE ALREADY WON THE CUP. WHAT DO YOU THINK?
Clanger says, I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO PLAY BADMINTON.
[Conor groaning]
Conor says, ACTUALLY, I WAS THINKING THAT I COULD—
Clanger says, STAND BACK WHILE I DESTROY THE TEACHERS? GREAT PLAN!
[Buzzing, popping]
Title: “High Hoops.”
The first letter 'O' in 'hoops' inflates and pops.
[Rustling, upbeat music plays]
At school, Clanger enters the gym, takes off his uniform jacket, and throws it on the floor.
Clanger says, GIVE ME THAT!
[Smacking]
Clanger takes a racquet and a shuttlecock from a red-haired girl and serves it. A teacher with a ponytail hits it back. Clanger hits the shuttlecock, and it bounces off the net.
Clanger says, NO!
[Smacking, slide whistle]
Clanger swings his racquet and misses the shuttlecock.
Clanger says, NO!
[Groaning, smacking]
Clanger hits the shuttlecock into the net.
Clanger says, STUPID NET!
He throws the racquet at the floor, and it bounces, hitting his face. Text reads, “Pow.”
Clanger says, OW!
In a classroom, Jim stands between a brown-haired boy and a brown-haired teacher. They sit in rocking chairs on each side.
Jim says, TAKE UP YOUR KNITTING NEEDLES.
[Whistle blaring]
Jim blows his whistle, and Conor and Clanger run into the room.
Conor says, GIVE US YOUR KNITTING STICKS.
Clanger says, I'VE GOT THIS, RUDE BOY. TRUST!
The brown-haired boy gives Clanger his pink wool and knitting needles.
[Whooshing]
Polka dots move across the screen. Later, Conor and Clanger are tangled in pink wool. Jim holds up the finished sweater of the brown-haired teacher.
Jim says, WINNER!
[Thumping]
Conor and Clanger fall to the floor. Later, by the cup, Clanger and Jim play Battleship.
Jim says, C-6.
[Foghorn blaring, slide whistle, exploding]
In animation, a ship explodes.
Clanger shouts, NO!
[Whooshing]
Clanger throws ship pieces into the air above him.
Jim says, YES! YES! YES! YES!
[Thunking, Clanger groaning]
Conor winces in Clanger’s direction. Clanger turns towards Conor with two black eyes.
Clanger says, STUPID PLAN.
Conor says, IT'S OKAY. WE'LL FIND ANOTHER WAY TO STOP AOIFE.
[Thumping]
Mr. Holt pats Clanger’s shoulder and walks to the scoreboard.
Mr. Holt says, DEAREST CLANGER! HUGE THANKS FROM ALL THE TEACHERS.
[Chiming]
Mr. Holt puts the event wins in the teacher column on the scoreboard.
Conor says, YOU DON'T NEED TO THANK HIM. YOU WOULD HAVE WON THOSE EVENTS ANYWAY.
Mr. Holt says, OH, I THINK SOMEBODY DIDN'T SEE THE BADMINTON SCORE.
[Whooshing, upbeat music plays]
In a flashback, the scoreboard in the gym reads, “Students, 20. Teachers, 19.”
A referee says, AND NOW, SERVING TO WIN THE MATCH FOR THE STUDENTS--
[Jacket thumping]
Clanger drops his jacket on the floor and takes the racquet from the red-haired girl.
Clanger says, GIVE ME THAT!
[Smacking, groaning, slide whistle]
The shuttlecock hits the floor, and the score ties. Clanger misses the shuttlecock, and the teachers take the lead.
Clanger says, AH!
[Smacking, whistle blaring]
The shuttlecock hits the net, and the scoreboard changes to “Students 20, Teachers 22.” The teacher with a ponytail puts her arms up victoriously.
The teacher with a ponytail says, YES!
Clanger shouts, STUPID NET!
[Whooshing, smacking]
Clanger throws his racquet at the gym floor and bounces up and hits his face. Text reads, “Pow.”
Clanger says, OW!
The flashback ends.
[The music ends]
In the present, Mr. Holt says, YES, IF WE HAD LOST THE BADMINTON, THERE'S NO WAY WE COULD HAVE WON THE CRISPY CRISP CUP. BUT IN CAME DARLING CLANGER. YOU KNOW, I THINK YOU'RE MY FAVOURITE STUDENT.
[Upbeat music plays]
Mr. Holt pats Clanger’s shoulder and walks away. A teacher with short blond hair grabs Clanger’s shoulders and shakes him gently.
The blond-haired teacher says, WELL DONE, MATE. YOU WERE AWESOME.
A curly-haired teacher walks past.
The curly-haired teacher says, WE LOVE YOU.
A black-haired teacher says, YOU'RE MY SUPERSTAR.
A teacher with short salt-and-pepper hair squeezes Clanger’s shoulders. Clanger looks at Conor with wide eyes.
The salt-and-pepper-haired teacher says, WELL DONE.
Jim says, YOU'RE THE BEST. I'M A HUGGER.
Jim hugs Clanger. Clanger closes his eyes and grimaces. Jim walks away.
Clanger says, TEACHERS USED TO CALL OFF SICK WHEN I WAS IN THEIR CLASS. NEVER KNEW WHAT I'D DO NEXT. NOW, I'M THEIR FAVOURITE STUDENT.
[Thumping, slide whistle]
Clanger falls to his knees and looks up, lifting his arms.
Clanger shouts, WHAT HAVE I BECOME?
Text reads, “What Have I Become?”
[Upbeat music plays, squeaking, whooshing, cheering]
Title: “High Hoops.”
A basketball hoop hangs beneath the first letter 'O' in 'hoops’, and a basketball falls into it.
[Background chattering, the music stops]
Aoife says, HEY, GUYS! LISTEN UP! OKAY, SO I COULDN'T PERSUADE JIM NOT TO PLAY, BUT FALLBACK PLAN, WE BEAT HIM ON THE COURT AND THEN PRACTICE EVERY MOMENT WE GET UP UNTIL THE MATCH.
Charlotte says, APART FROM NINE TO TEN ON WEDNESDAY.
[Slide whistle, scratching]
In animation, a cactus appears, and a brush scrubs a foot.
Charlotte says, I'VE GOT CACTUS JUICE FOOT SCRUB.
[Aoife retching]
Aoife says, ANYWAY. I'VE GOT SOME IDEAS ON TACTICS THAT SHOULD HELP.
Zara points and says, UM, AOIFE.
Jim enters the gym.
Aoife says, HERE TO SPY ON US, ARE YA?
Jim says, NO, UM. TO ASK HOW DOES YOUR MUM FEEL ABOUT HEIGHTS?
[Upbeat music plays]
Jim continues, SPECIFICALLY, UM, BEING DANGLED FROM DANGEROUS ONES.
Aoife asks, ARE YOU THREATENING MY MOTHER TO GET ME TO THROW THE GAME?
Aoife tells us, BOLD MOVE. I'M ACTUALLY QUITE IMPRESSED.
Jim says, NO! I WANT TO TAKE HER TO THE LOCAL ZIPLINE PARK.
[Brid cheering]
In an animation, a person with a cut-out of Brid’s face slides down a zipline.
Jim says, ON A DATE.
[Charlotte, Zara, and Nyla laughing]
Charlotte says, DATE! YES!
Aoife says, A DATE?
Aoife tells us, AND I THOUGHT THE CACTUS JUICE FOOT SCRUB WAS GROSS.
Aoife asks, WHY?
[Chiming]
In animation, a hot potato floats beside Jim.
Jim says, I THINK SHE'S SMOKING HOT.
[Charlotte, Zara, and Nyla snickering]
Jim continues, LIKE A BURNT POTATO.
[Charlotte, Zara, and Nyla snickering]
Jim asks, SO, WILL YOU ASK HER?
Aoife says, YEAH!
Text reads, “Yes. Yes. Yes.”
Jim says, YES! YES! YES!
[Background giggling]
Jim leaves.
Aoife tells us, AND THE FACT THAT JIM WANTS TO TAKE MY MUM TO A ZIPLINE PARK JUST SHOWS HOW WEIRD HE IS. SHE'LL NEVER EVEN THINK OF DATING HIM.
Later, at home, Brid brushes on blush.
Brid says, I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M GOING ZIPLINING!
Aoife carries her smartphone to Brid.
Aoife says, MUM, YOU CAN'T! LOOK. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN PEOPLE GO ZIPLINING. CRASH INTO A TREE, BROKEN ARM. CRASH INTO A BRIDGE, BROKEN COLLARBONE. CRASH INTO A COW, CONCUSSION. AND THAT WAS JUST THE COW!
Brid says, I'M NOT GOING TO CRASH INTO A COW.
Aoife says, BUT THEN THERE WILL BE NOTHING TO BREAK YOUR FALL.
[Footsteps tapping]
Brid says, I'LL BE FINE!
Aoife shakes her head at us.
Brid says, I LIKE THE IDEA. IT'S DIFFERENT.
Aoife says, MUM, YOU CAN'T. NOBODY DOES IT ON A FIRST DATE. IT'S LIKE EATING EXTRA GARLIC CHEESE FRIES ON A DATE. NOBODY DOES IT!
[Thumping]
Aoife lifts her hands and then drops them at her side.
Brid says, OH, GARLIC CHEESE FRIES! WE ARE TOTALLY GOING FOR THOSE AFTERWARD! DON'T WAIT UP.
Aoife looks at us and shakes her head.
[Upbeat music plays, whooshing]
The Midvale crest spins over students as they walk down a school staircase. In the school library, Zara, Nyla, and Charlotte sit at a table.
A passing student says, WELL DONE, VIPERS!
A girl asks, CAN I GET AN AUTOGRAPH?
A tall boy holds up a smartphone and says, SELFIE, VIPERS.
[Camera shutter snapping]
Charlotte gives a thumbs-up.
Jamie says, YOU'VE GOT THIS, VIPERS!
Aoife walks past Jamie, and they glance back at each other and smile.
Aoife tells us, OH! MUST STAY FOCUSED!
[Thumping, background chattering]
Aoife puts her binder on the table.
Aoife says, MUM HAS BEEN ON TWO DATES WITHIN THE LAST 24 HOURS.
Charlotte says, AW, THAT'S SO SWEET.
Aoife says, NO, IT'S NOT SWEET, CHARLOTTE. IT'S GROSS. WE NEED TO STOP THIS. I THINK I MIGHT KNOW HOW.
[Rustling]
Aoife picks up her binder labelled, “Operation Lethal Man Trap.”
Zara says, OPERATION LETHAL MAN TRAP?
Nyla says, BACK OFF, O'NEILL.
Zara says, OR WE’LL SUE.
Aoife says, WHAT?
Charlotte says, MMM-HMM.
Zara says, WE HEARD JIM'S MISSED THE TEACHERS' LAST TWO TRAINING SESSIONS BECAUSE HE'S BEEN OUT WITH YOUR MUM.
Charlotte says, JIM'S A SMITTEN KITTEN.
[Charlotte growling]
Charlotte curls her fingers and claws the air. Aoife raises her eyebrow and grimaces.
Nyla says, SO, THE BEST THING YOU CAN DO IS NOTHING.
Aoife says, BUT I CAN'T DO THAT!
Zara says, YOU CAN. DO THAT AND WE WIN THE MATCH AND THE STUDENTS WIN THE CUP AND THIS…
[Hands slapping]
A passing student high-fives Zara.
Zara continues, IS OUR LIFE FOREVER.
A blond-haired boy says, GOOD LUCK, VIPERS!
A student says, I LOVE YOU, VIPERS!
Aoife says, THAT DOES SOUND GOOD. AND THEN THERE'S THE JAMIE FACTOR.
Aoife looks at Jamie, who sits at a table alone.
[Sighing]
Aoife says, BUT IF I DON'T STOP MUM AND JIM NOW, I'LL MOST DEFINITELY END UP WEARING A BRIDESMAID DRESS TO THEIR WEDDING.
[Steam whistle blowing]
In animation, steam blows out of Aoife’s ears.
Aoife says, AH!
At Aoife’s house, Jim and Brid sit together at the dining room table and eat.
Jim says, MMM! COMPLIMENTS TO THE CHEF!
[Jim and Brid giggling]
In the kitchen, Aoife stands with her arms crossed. Charlotte sits on the counter, and Nyla and Zara lean on it.
Aoife says, ANY MINUTE NOW, HE'S GONNA TELL HER ANOTHER LAME JOKE AND SHE'S GONNA—
[Aoife fakes laughing]
Aoife says, LAUGH AT IT! AGAIN.
Jim says, HEY, BRID. DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE APPLE PIE THAT HAD TO GO TO THE DENTIST?
Brid smiles and shakes her head.
Jim says, IT NEEDED A FILLING!
[Brid and Jim laughing]
Aoife says, I NEED TO STOP THIS.
Aoife walks forward, and Zara grabs her shoulders.
Zara says, NO! KEEP CALM AND IGNORE THE ADULT CANOODLING.
Aoife says, BUT IT'S MAKING ME FEEL SICK!
[Adults laughing]
Charlotte says, JUST THINK OF THE CRISPY CRISP CUP. I'M STICKING TO THAT.
Brid says, OH, JIM! YOU MAKE ME SMILE!
[Giggling, upbeat music plays]
Brid says, AND YOU MAKE ME, WELL-- YOU MAKE ME FEEL SOMETHING I HAVEN'T FELT FOR—
[Hearts wobbling]
Brid reaches across the table and holds Jim’s hand. Red and white hearts float around them. They both stand and lean across the table towards each other. Jim closes his eyes and puckers his lips.
[Horn honking]
In animation, a horn appears beside Aoife. She runs into the dining room.
Aoife says, WHOA! STOP! STOP! STOP! DISGUSTING! PLEASE, STOP!
[Dishes clanking]
Brid and Jim sit down.
Aoife says, THIS WOMAN, FIRST THING SHE DOES IN THE MORNING IS BURP AND THEN LAST THING AT NIGHT SAY, "TIME FOR BED, ZIBBIDY."
Aoife says, AS FOR HIM, WELL, HE NAMES HIS NASAL HAIRS. AND I ONCE SAW HIM EAT A CHOCOLATE BAR WITH A KNIFE AND FORK.
Brid and Jim smile at each other.
Aoife asks, STILL WANT TO SMOOCH?
Brid says, WELL, YES! I DON'T MIND THAT JIM ISN'T YOUR TYPICAL MAN. I ACTUALLY FIND IT ENDEARING.
Jim nods.
Brid says, BUT IT'S OBVIOUS YOU HAVE A REAL PROBLEM WITH US DATING, SO FOR THAT REASON, IF YOU REALLY WANT US TO STOP SEEING EACH OTHER, WE WILL. IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?
Aoife says, YES! GREAT!
[Footsteps thumping]
Brid and Jim stare at each other across the table. Aoife turns, and Zara stands with her hands on her hips, shaking her head.
Aoife says, UM.
[Upbeat music plays]
Night turns into day. In Conor’s room, Clanger stares into the distance, and Conor snaps his fingers in front of him.
Conor says, YOU'VE GOT TO SNAP OUT OF THIS IF WE'RE GOING TO STOP AOIFE.
Clanger says, IT'S NOT ABOUT AOIFE NOW. I DON'T KNOW WHO I AM ANYMORE. DON'T YOU SEE? A TEACHER HUGGED ME.
Conor says, YOU'RE STILL YOU. KING CLANG. THE GUY WHO DRILLED A HOLE IN THE FLOOR IN D.T. MADE MR. JOHNSON SO ANGRY, HE PUNCHED A CHAIR!
Clanger says, HOLT SAYS I'M HIS FAVOURITE STUDENT.
[Conor sighing]
Clanger wraps himself in a blanket. Polka dots move across the screen. In the kitchen, Brid stands beside her smartphone, gazing at an incense stick.
On the phone, a motivational speaker says, FROM THE DEPTHS OF SORROW, THE WAY AHEAD CAN SEEM CLOUDED BY DARK MISERY. YET WE CAN STILL FIND—
Clanger, wrapped in the blanket, walks beside Conor to the kitchen.
Conor says, HEY, MUM. CAN YOU TALK TO CLANGER? GIVE HIM ONE OF YOUR TRADEMARK INSPIRATIONAL PEP TALKS.
Conor stares at Brid as she walks around the kitchen.
On the phone, the motivational speaker says, MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER: SO, GO FORTH. FIND YOUR JOY. YOU MAY NEED TO LOOK WHERE OTHERS MAY NOT. SEEK IT IN THE CREVICES OF YOUR SOUL.
[Phone ringing]
Conor takes out his smartphone.
Conor asks, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MUM?
At school, Aoife says, I'VE DONE NOTHING. NOTHING AT ALL.
At home, Brid wipes a counter with a feather duster. Conor looks down at Brid’s smartphone screen.
Conor says, SHE'S BURNING INCENSE AND CLEANING. SHE'S LISTENING TO "EAT, DESPAIR, CRY."
[Aoife sighing, door creaking]
Aoife tells us, I'M JUST AT SCHOOL A COUPLE HOURS BEFORE IT STARTS BECAUSE THAT'S HOW MUCH I LIKE SCHOOL. NOT BECAUSE I JUST NEED TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE BECAUSE MY VERY SAD MOTHER IS BEING SAD. DEFINITELY NOT THAT.
[Basketballs thumping]
Aoife enters the gym, where Zara, Charlotte, and Nyla are dribbling basketballs.
Aoife says, AH! DON'T HIT ME!
[Harmonica music plays]
Nyla says, NO NEED. HAVE YOU SEEN JIM?
Aoife says, UH, YEAH. LAST NIGHT WHEN I PUT AN END TO THOSE ROMANTIC CANOODLING. YOU WERE THERE.
Zara says, WE CAME TO DO SOME EARLY PRACTICE AND WE FOUND THIS.
[Harmonica music plays]
Jim sits on the floor in the corner of the gym, playing a harmonica. Basketballs lie on the floor around him.
Nyla says, WATCH. HEY, JIM! CATCH!
[Ball thumping, harmonica music plays]
Nyla bounces a basketball to Jim, and he ignores it.
Zara says, JIM, TRY THIS ONE.
[Whooshing, thumping]
Zara throws a basketball, and it bounces off a bag beside Jim.
Charlotte says, YEAH, I'M NOT GOING TO DO IT BECAUSE I JUST DID MY NAILS, BUT YOU GET THE PICTURE.
[Harmonica music plays]
Jim sings, I WILL NEVER PLAY BALL AGAIN WHILE PINING FOR MY TRUE LOVE.
Aoife looks at us.
Nyla says, YOU BROKE HIM. WE'RE TOTALLY GOING TO WIN THE CUP.
[Harmonica music plays, Charlotte giggling, hands slapping, upbeat music plays]
Aoife tilts her head to the side and looks at Jim. Behind her, Nyla, Charlotte, and Zara high-five. Clouds drift over the city, and day turns to night.
[Door clicking, creaking]
At night, Conor enters Aoife’s bedroom, wearing a white lacy sheet over his head and holding a flashlight under his chin.
In a ghostly voice, Conor says, AOIFE! AOIFE!
[Upbeat music plays]
In her bed, Aoife narrows her eyes.
Conor says, GEEZ! WAKE UP!
Aoife says, AH! NAN?
In the ghostly voice, Conor says, NO! I AM THE SPIRIT OF LOVE LOST. BRID DESERVES HAPPINESS. PLUS, WHEN SHE'S IN GOOD FORM, SHE'S THERE TO MOTIVATE HER SON'S FRIENDS. GIVE THEM A GOOD KICK UP THE ASTRAL PLANE.
[Aoife sighing, lamp clicking]
Aoife turns on the lamp on her nightstand.
Aoife says, CONOR! MUM'S NIGHTIE? WHY?
Conor lifts the sheet. He wears a white lacy nightgown.
Conor says, WELL, THE SUPERNATURAL IS THE ONLY WAY TO GET TO YOU.
Aoife says, FAIR. OKAY, SO I WAS SELFISH. NOW, GET OUT.
In a ghostly voice, Conor says, OOH!
[Door clicking]
Conor leaves and closes the door.
[Door clicking]
Conor opens the door and pulls the edge of the sheet away from the door frame.
In a ghostly voice, Conor says, OOH!
[Aoife sighing]
Aoife lies down, hugging a stuffed toy.
Aoife asks us, SO, DO I DO THE RIGHT THING AND GIVE MY MUM AND JIM MY BLESSING?
[Retching]
Aoife asks us, OR DO NOTHING AND GIVE THE VIPERS THEIR BEST CHANCE AT VICTORY?
[Lively music plays, whooshing, whistling]
Night turns into day, and the Midvale school crest appears over students walking up a staircase in school. In the school gym, students hold signs. Aoife, Nyla, and Charlotte sit on a bench beside the basketball court, and Zara stands in front of the cup displayed courtside. Text reads, “Crispy Cup Final. Students versus teachers.”
The crowd chants, THEY BOUNCE, THEY HISS. THEY'RE ABOUT TO GET THE CRISPY CRISP CUP. CRISPY CUP! THEY BOUNCE, THEY HISS.
A referee tells the Vipers, FIVE MINUTES.
The crowd chants, THEY'RE ABOUT TO GET THE CRISPY CRISP CUP.
Zara says, WE'VE GOT THIS. NOW'S OUR TIME TO FLEX.
[Crowd cheering]
Zara flexes her biceps.
Zara says, AOIFE, FLEX WITH ME.
Aoife says, NAH, I MIGHT NOT.
Mr. Holt enters the gym.
Nyla asks, DID I MISS SOMETHING?
The crowd chants, THEY BOUNCE, THEY HISS.
[Thumping]
Jim puts down his bag and sits beside Mr. Holt on the court.
Nyla asks, WHY IS JIM BACK ON THEIR TEAM?
Aoife says, GOSH! HOW UNEXPECTED. I WONDER HOW THIS HAS COME TO BE.
Aoife tells us, I MIGHT HAVE MADE A FEW CALLS.
[Buzzing, lively music continues]
In a flashback, Aoife holds her smartphone. Jim and Brid each smile on one-half of a broken heart. The halves fuse, and Aoife smiles.
On the bench, Aoife says, FALLBACK PLAN, REMEMBER? WE BEAT THEM ON THE COURT. WE CAN DO THIS.
The crowd chants, WE'RE ABOUT TO GET THE CRISPY CRISP CUP! CRISPY CUP!
In the hallway, Clanger walks beside Conor, still wrapped in the blanket.
Clanger says, I'M HIS FAVOURITE STUDENT.
Conor says, MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST MAKE THE BEST OF THIS. SUPPORT THE GIRLS?
[Clanger grunting, pom poms rustling, Conor sighing]
Conor waves blue and purple pom poms at Clanger.
Conor says, YOU KNOW, IF AOIFE WINS, WE DO GET A DAY OFF SCHOOL.
Clanger says, NO! NO! I CAN'T. I NEED TO FIND MY JOY! LIKE YOUR MUM'S "EAT, CRY, DESPAIR" TAPE SET. IT'S THE ONLY WAY BACK TO MYSELF!
[Footsteps running]
Clanger drops the blanket and runs down the hallway.
Conor asks, HOW ARE YOU GOING TO DO THAT? CLANGER!
[Door banging, Clanger shouting]
Clanger pushes a door open and runs into a different hallway.
[Crowd cheering, upbeat music plays, ball thumping, whooshing, net rattling]
On the court, Jim dribbles the ball. He points two fingers at his eyes and two fingers at Charlotte and Aoife. He shoots a basket.
Mr. Holt shouts, YES!
[Teachers cheering, clicking, ball thumping, whooshing, net rattling]
With four minutes and 56 seconds left, the scoreboard reads, “Students, 14. Teachers, 15.” Jim scores again, and the score for the teachers changes to 16.
Mr. Holt shouts, YES! YES!
[Sneakers squeaking, ball thumping, whooshing, net rattling]
Jim scores again.
Mr. Holt shouts, YES!
Nyla says, COME ON! THE TEACHERS ARE WIPING THE FLOOR WITH US. GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME.
[Teachers cheering, clicking, ball thumping, whooshing, clicking]
The score changes to “Students, 14. Teachers, 17.” Aoife scores, and Jamie stands in the audience. The score increases to 15 for the students.
Charlotte says, COME ON, AOIFE! HEAD UP!
[Thumping, whooshing, cheering]
Charlotte dribbles the ball. She passes it to Zara, who passes it to Aoife. Aoife scores.
Mr. Holt says, OH, REFEREE!
[Cheering, crowd cheering, clicking, sneakers squeaking, ball thumping, whooshing, hoop rattling, clicking]
With two minutes and 44 seconds left, the score reads, “Students, 16. Teachers, 17.” Aoife scores another basket, and the game is tied with one minute and 57 seconds left. Aoife sinks another basket, and Charlotte hugs her. Mr. Holt lies down across chairs beside the wall.
Zara says, THAT'S MORE LIKE IT, AOIFE!
[Whistle blowing, clicking]
The score changes, and the students lead 18 to 17.
The crowd chants, AOIFE! AOIFE! AOIFE!
Charlotte says, THEY'RE SHOUTING OUR NAMES AND IT'S NOT IN A RUDE WAY! IT'S SO NICE.
The crowd chants, CHARLOTTE! CHARLOTTE!
Zara says, WELCOME TO OUR NEW LIFE AS QUEENS OF THE SCHOOL.
Nyla says, WE WILL RULE WISELY AND WELL. UNLESS THEY CROSS US. THEN DEATH.
The crowd chants, NYLA! NYLA!
[Crowd cheering, upbeat music plays]
The Vipers wipe their faces with towels. Nyla waves at the crowd. Aoife smiles at Jaime. Jessica holds a sign that reads, “Vipers to win.” She flips the sign, and it reads, “Or Else!”
[The music stops]
Aoife tells us, THIS IS DEFINITELY GOING TO BE OKAY. RIGHT?
[Thumping, whistle blowing, upbeat music plays]
The teachers score another basket with one minute and 13 seconds left, tying the score.
Mr. Holt shouts, YAY!
[Teachers cheering, clicking, thumping, whooshing, thumping]
Jim scores. With 58 seconds left, the score reads, “Students, 18. Teachers, 19.” Aoife passes the basketball to Zara.
Mr. Holt says, WHAT!
[Crowd cheering, clicking]
Zara scores and ties the game.
Mr. Holt says, NO!
[Ball thumping]
Courtside, Mr. Holt watches with his hands on his hips.
Mr. Holt says, COME ON!
Aoife catches a rebound.
Mr. Holt holds his head and says, OOH!
[Timer ticking, whooshing, Zara screaming, upbeat music plays]
Ten seconds are left on the clock. The clock counts down to four seconds, and Aoife shoots the ball. The crowd stands. The lights in the gym turn red.
Charlotte asks, WHAT'S GOING ON?
Jim says, SOMEONE'S BLOWN THE LECKY.
[Water dripping]
Charlotte holds out her hand.
She says, IT'S RAINING.
Nyla says, INSIDE?
[Aoife groaning]
In a bathroom, Clanger holds a wrench.
He cheers, YES! YES!
[Water dripping, door creaking]
Mr. Holt enters the bathroom, with Conor walking behind him.
Mr. Holt says, YOU FLOODED THE TOILET. WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS?
Mr. Holt shouts, YOU STUPID, MINDLESS, DESTRUCTIVE IDIOT! THAT'S DETENTION FOR LIFE!
[Water dripping]
Mr. Holt leaves the bathroom.
Clanger says, DON'T EVEN CARE! I'M BACK, BABY!
Conor says, YOU DID IT. YOU FOUND YOUR JOY! OH, CLANGER!
Clanger and Conor hug. Mr. Holt enters the gym with a flashlight.
Mr. Holt says, RIGHT. SOME IDIOT HAS FLOODED THE TOILETS, SO WE'LL HAVE TO ABANDON THE GAME AS A DRAW.
Aoife says, NO WAY!
Aoife tells us, ACTUALLY, THINKING ABOUT IT.
[Tape rewinding, whooshing, upbeat music plays, whooshing, cheering, camera shutter snapping]
In a flashback, Nyla puts a picture of a ball of yarn in the teacher column on the teacher-student scoreboard. Text reads, “Students versus teachers.” In another flashback, Aoife sinks a basket. Text reads, “Heroes.” In a photograph beside the cup, Charlotte hugs Aoife. Text reads, “Crispy Crisp Cup.”
Aoife narrates, TEACHERS VERSUS STUDENTS WEEK WAS A GREAT CHANCE FOR THE VIPERS TO BE HEROES AND GO DOWN IN SCHOOL HISTORY AND WIN THE CRISPY CRISP CUP.
[Heart shattering]
In an animation, a heart appears beside Aoife, and it breaks.
Aoife tells us, AND THEN DYLAN LEFT. SADNESS. BUT I THINK I MIGHT BE SLIGHTLY IN LOVE WITH…
In a flashback, hearts appear around Jamie.
In a flashback, Aoife says, JAMIE.
In another flashback, Jim throws a basketball behind him and sinks a basket.
Aoife tells us, YAY! AND THEN MY BASKETBALL COACH, WHO IS UNEXPECTEDLY GOOD AT BASKETBALL, AND REALLY UNEXPECTEDLY ATTRACTED TO MY MUM.
[Whooshing]
In a flashback, photographs show Brid and Jim holding hands across the table. She leans towards him and he closes his eyes and purses his lips. Text reads, “Woah! Woah! Stop!” In the flashback, Aoife runs to the table.
Aoife says, WHOA! STOP! STOP! STOP!
[Heart shattering]
In the kitchen, Zara shakes her head. A stop sign appears by Nyla and Charlotte. Jim and Brid’s photographs appear in a heart, and it breaks.
Aoife tells us, I SOON PUT A STOP TO THAT, BUT THEN JIM LOST HIS MOJO.
[Hearts popping]
In a flashback, Jim sits on the gym floor playing his harmonica. Brid walks around her kitchen sadly. In animation, hearts break around her.
Aoife tells us, MUM WAS SAD TOO.
[Whooshing, cheering]
In a flashback, the two halves of the broken heart with Jim and Brid’s photographs join. Aoife smiles. In another flashback, Jim sinks a basketball in the game.
Aoife tells us, I GOT THEM BACK TOGETHER, BUT NOW JIM'S TOP BALLER SKILLS ARE BACK AGAIN AS WELL.
The flashback ends.
In the gym, Aoife tells us, SO, A PLAIN DRAW DOESN'T SOUND SO BAD.
Aoife says, FAIR ENOUGH.
Zara says, AOIFE, NO!
Aoife tells us, THINK. WE DIDN'T WIN THE GAME SO NO DAY OFF. BUT WE DIDN'T LOSE THE GAME, SO NO CLEANING UP.
[Background chattering]
Mr. Holt says, UM, NO. WHAT WAS IT YOU SAID?
Imitating Aoife, Mr. Holt says, "HOWS ABOUT IF THE STUDENTS WIN THE CUP, WE ALL GET A DAY OFF SCHOOL."
Zara says, OH, NO.
Aoife says, YEAH, THAT IS A TERRIBLE IMPRESSION OF ME.
Aoife notices Zara, Nyla, and Charlotte staring at her.
Aoife says, WHAT?
Zara says, WHEN YOU MADE THE DEAL, YOU SAID, "THE CUP," NOT "THE GAME."
Aoife says, YEAH, SO. IF NOBODY WINS THE GAME, THE CUP'S A DRAW TOO.
Zara says, YEAH, BUT AS DEFENDING CHAMPIONS, IN THE EVENT OF A DRAW, THE TEACHERS RETAIN THE CRISPY CRISP CUP. THEN WIN IT.
Aoife says, OH.
[Upbeat music plays, teachers cheering]
Jim jumps excitedly with his arms in the air.
Jim says, YES! YES! YES! YES!
[Teachers cheering]
Jim runs to the cup and picks it up, and the teachers jump excitedly. In animation, confetti falls around the teachers.
Jim says, IN YOUR FACE!
[Teachers cheering]
Mr. Holt says, SO, YOU WILL BE CLEANING THE SCHOOL ON FRIDAY NIGHT, AND I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE YOU CAN START.
[Water splashing]
In the school bathroom, a sponge bounces off Aoife’s head.
Nyla says, BOO!
[Water splashing]
Charlotte throws a sponge at Aoife.
Charlotte shouts, BOO!
Nyla, Charlotte, and Zara shout, BOO!
[Water splashing]
Sponges hit Aoife, and her bottom lip sticks out.
[Upbeat music plays, thumping]
Singers sing, DOO, DOO, DOO, DOO, DOO, DOO, DOO, DOO.
In an animation, a basketball bounces off a net. The ball lands in the basket. A second ball bounces off the rim of the net. A basketball falls into the net.
End credits. Cast in order of appearance: Aoife, Darci Hull. Nyla, Frankie-Jae Simmonds. Charlotte, Ella Bernstein. Zara, Isha Kaur Athwal. Jessica, Bea Ward. Jim, Nigel Boyle. Conor, Arthur Kay. Clanger, Dylan Lakhanpaul. Jamie, Joseph Nicholas. Brid, Isy Suttie. Special thanks Calderdale College. Executive Producer for B.B.C., Anita Burgess, Melissa Hardinge. Executive Producer, Rebecca Papworth. Logos: Can Can Productions Limited for B.B.C. Copyright Can Can Productions 2024. Filmed in West Yorkshire. Logo: A.P.C. Kids.
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